i need help!!!!!!!!!!!! one of my parents are having an affair. what shud i do?

Question

i confirmed my father was cheating today. i dont wanna tell my mom right now cuz it will break her heart. she already going thru sum things. she really sick. cant hardly walk. sits at home all day. she just really sick. and telling her that her husband is having an affair will just add more stress to her. they been together for bot 25 yrs. i guess he thought he could get away with it cuz my mom would never suspect him of it. well, not in this case. i suspected sumthing was going on and i investigated. i dont wanna confront him cuz then he will try to cover it up before i tell my mom. i wanna talk to my older sis about it but then she may tell my mom and then everyone else will know. my friend said i shud **** wit him. like send him text messages without a callback number and do the same thing to is mistress. what yall think?

Answer 1

i cannot suggest to u on tis. if ur mum is sick, beta nt tell her nw. wait till de time is ripe

Answer 2

I would imagine this is a really tough time for the whole family. Your dad is probably feeling like he lost part of his wife because she's sick and they can't do all the things they use to do together as a family. There is strain and stress for everyone involved, and that leads some people to look for some sort of sanity saver. Maybe he could talk to this person he's having an affair with. Maybe they have many things in common and get along very well. This probably led your Dad to a false belief that it was ok to spend time with her, which led to feelings for each other. These feelings may be friendly, loving, or lusty, but no matter what they are it is confusing for him.
I would suggest you ask your dad to have a conversation with you. Maybe go to a quiet place for lunch or something. While there, as him what's new? You'll do a little chit chatting, and then let him know you are concerned and tell him what you saw. Wait to hear his explanation and go from there. You may be able to agree that his affair is over, or maybe he'll be straight up and tell you exactly what's going on with everything. Either way you will open the lines of communication.
I doubt he'll try to cover it up. Once an affair is found out they are difficult to cover. There is already an eye witness (you), and i'm sure much other evidence. If you can come to an agreement with your dad, then you do not need to burden your mother with it at this point. It will most likely come out on it's own anyway. But let your dad know the whole family needs his support right now. You are all looking to him to lead you through these difficult times. He may rethink his actions. Either way you will have opened a line of communication and you'll feel so much better knowing it's no longer a secret between you. And, as an added bonus, he's going to feel embarrassed, guilty, and nervous just knowing that you know!
Good luck. I hope whatever choice you make turns out for the best.

Answer 3

This is a very hard time for you, I know. My father did the same thing to my mom. The only advice I can give you is it's better to wait and tell your mom, until she is healthier. I didn't have to tell my mom about my dad's affair, she already knew about it, but she was ill too and knowing what he was doing only made her sicker.

Try to talk to an adult that you can trust with this information. It's probably best to keep this news away from an siblings. They may decide to tell your mom. Perhaps in time you can confront your father about it. He'll probably deny it like mine did, but it may make him realize that what he's doing is wrong. There are some people who don't want to hurt their children, even though what he is doing is hurting you.

Good luck. Keep your chin up.

Answer 4

Well, I guess don't tell your mom.. If she is already sick and going through stuff I don't think you should put anymore stress on her. In all reality, she probably does suspect something. I mean, if you did, how could she not? And I think it would make her feel even worse that you found out about it. Usually parents try to shield their children from that kind of stuff. I see two options for you - 1. Blackmail him! Let him know that you know and will tell your mom and everyone else if he doesn't get you what you want and do as you would please.
2. Sit down and talk to him. Let him know that you know and that he is hurting you and your whole family. Remind him of his wedding vows.

Answer 5

I don't know. That is horriable that you have this to deal w/. Get some definant proof so he can't try and lie. Tell ur sister and maybe u 2 should tell ur mom together. I know it will break her heart but she needs to know. And thats a lot of stress for u to b dealing w/ on ur own. If u don't want 2 tell her yet at least confide in ur sister for now to take some of the load off.
In a situation like this prayer is the best thing.
Best of everything to you. :)

Answer 6

Im sorry to hear that but let me tell you something you love your dad and you love your mom I dont think you should tell your mom cause you will break her heart and theres a very good chance that she wont believe you and might get upset with you and ask you why are you starting trouble and if you tell your dad you know he is going to be totally embarrassed and he will probly deny it and he will put you on this big huge guilt trip by saying something like its the first time and the last dont tell your mother It would break her heart..If you truly love your parents just let it be its not up to you to tell its up to your father....

Answer 7

Talk to your father NOT your mother. After all its not about you.
You have said your mother is ill. There is no need to make her an emotional wreck as well. Its unlikely but possible that your parents have an arrangement. You need to deal with him. It is no one's business but yours and your fathers and I'm not sure how much its yours. I do not know how old you are but I will tell you that playing kid games regarding an adult matter is also NOT the solution. It will only cause a major blowup and could cause their divorce. Do you really want to be blamed for that? I'll repeat this one last time for emphasis. TALK TO YOUR FATHER. Its the only good answer.

Answer 8

If you are certain that it is an affair and not just a good friendship he is drawing on for strength, confront your father. Tell him that you are angry and disappointed. Tell him that you feel it should stop and that no matter what, your mother should not find out. Parents are NOT perfect and it hurts when that becomes very clear. Your priority seems to be protecting your mother, so focus your energy there.

Answer 9

I would confront your father about it. Tell him you know what is going on and that you are very upset about it. Maybe with you talking to him he may change. And you are right about not telling your mom about this right now with her being soo sick. Make him do the right thing. Good luck and the best to you and your family.

Answer 10

Go to your dad anyway & tell him what you know. Tell him it will do no good to deny it. Tell him if he doesn't tell your mom, you will have to. That mught get the ball rolling.
But be prepared if you open this can or worms. Since you mother "would never suspect" you risk the chance of her turning on you. She may already know and is trying to keep peace, since she is as ill as she is.
Talk to a very trusted adult, or your sister.

Answer 11

how long has your mom been sick? if its been awhile your dad might be lonely. it depends if you want your parents to get a divorce if so wait till your mom is better, in most cases guys cheat for the sex. that doesn't make it right.or if you confront your dad he might just end the affair.