My husband and I have been married for nearly 7 years and it has been rocky for several years, horrible for the last year and a half. We have tried counseling... but nothing makes this relationship feel better. We have an issue with sex (see other questions posted by me), he was an emotional abuser although with counseling he has gotten much better... I just don't feel the love anymore. He is trying like hell and wants the marriage to work. I've really tried as well but it feels so empty. My family does not like him, they said I've been unhappy almost the entire time we've been together. We do have an almost 4 year old and he is a good dad to her.
I believe that I'm still married because I hate the idea of hurting him... But I feel like I'm sacrificing myself in the mean time.
I've read many books inlcuding Too Bad To Stay, To Good To Leave and all signs point to moving on and finding happiness elsewhere.
What do you think? Why am I having such trouble pulling the trigger?
2006-08-20 12:35:49 · 17 answers · asked by LovingMichael 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There are some things that I think we might be able to fix. But there are some that are just part of him and part of me. I'm so angry, frustrated, and sad about this entire ordeal. I could just scream.
Our sexual problems are just too much to take and after almost 9 yrs together, it's never going to change. And I used to be able to look past those issues, but now with the rest of the relationship not feeling safe and comfortable... it makes every little think stick out like an elephant in the kitchen.
2006-08-20 12:54:04 · update #1
Sounds like you need a good counselor to help you sort this out. You could be making a big mistake and until you know what you truly want I would seek counseling.
2006-08-20 12:41:23 · answer #1 · answered by cookie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you think happiness is around the bend? You admit he's working on it. It sounds like you are not. Your family is not at issue here. Its your marriage. If you do not give it the time and energy it deserves you may come to regret it. You are probably having a hard time pulling the trigger because deep down you know its not the right thing to do. As long as you are thinking about leaving you cannot actually return .
Judging from your other questions you deserved some level of emotional criticism. Abuse mainly comes in one form, physical.
It sounds like you were mentally gone a long time ago thus your cheating. You have reaped what you brought on yourself.
2006-08-20 12:44:29 · answer #2 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you. I am in a similar situation as the husband, although I'm not an emotional or physical abuser. Married 7 years, 2 kids.The last 1.5 years I have been emotionally unavailable I blame on work issues. Not good on my part because it has contributed to the demise of my marriage.
If you learn how to make it work, please contact me. Maybe I can forward it to my wife and it could help us.
2006-08-20 12:51:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like he is trying even if you think you have given up. who cares if your family likes him? they do not have to live with him do they? ask yourself this Q: will leaving really make me happy? my daughter happy? do you think the grass is always greener on the other side? I think you might be happy with the thought of a fresh start but once gone, may have regrets. I think you should set a goal, if you yourself try really hard to work everything out and in say, 6 months things are not better, then plan on leaving. Until then, you may be acting too hastily. Good luck with everything & I am glad that he is a good father to your daughter, that is very important. God Bless you.
2006-08-20 13:05:20 · answer #4 · answered by martin.bones 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am glad you have both tried the counseling to save your marriage. What does the counselor say about your feelings? Are they the normal reaction to what you have been through? Maybe it is too soon the see the results.
Don't throw it away now unless you and your counselor agree that you do not have the ability to make things work.
2006-08-20 12:44:09 · answer #5 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your first concern should be for your little girl if this is a bad environment for her to be in fighting etc then get out. Since he is a good day make sure they have visitation but its time to move on I am not for divorce but sometime things can't be fixed and it is more stressful (even though you think it right to stay togather) for everyone involved and no one is happy.
2006-08-20 12:43:12 · answer #6 · answered by mustang.suzy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a big move and a tough decision to make , but if all the signs point to moving on (as you say), then go. There's probably just too much water under the bridge. Your responsibility in this life is to yourself and your child. Don't let yourself hurt to save hurting him. BTDT
2006-08-20 12:48:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex had obsessive-compulsive disorder and nothing we tried worked. The last year he had me in tears almost everyday. Leaving him was the hardest thing ever because I knew he was already unstable. But if you don't leave, it will only get worse. Best of luck to you.
2006-08-20 12:46:38 · answer #8 · answered by renee1724 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop beating yourself up over this man and get a divorce. I am sure he is a nice guy who loves his daughter, but how can you be a good parent when you are feeling emotionally bad.
2006-08-24 07:39:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its subject-unfastened density remains decrease than the density of water as a results of fact of each and every of the empty area interior the deliver. Now how does the sea "understand" that its density is larger than the deliver's and we could it flow is an different question. you may look up the Archimedes theory for that.
2016-12-17 14:18:17 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋