I've known I was gay since I was a small child I am now in my 30's?

Question

Do you think that I chose as a small child to be a homosexual?
Or maybe I was born that way?

Answer 1

sexuality is much more complex than just "deciding" and "being born" a certain way. As children we have a difficult time distinguishing between fantasy and reality, and have not yet developed critical thinking skills to question things like gender roles and sexual orientation... it's a much more immediate "hand to mouth" process. Thus, as we get older, we can reflect and make connections between how we thought, felt and acted, and how that influences our thoughts, feelings and actions now. So as far as choosing, maybe choosing a gay identity as a child felt most comfortable and right for you at the time, but that's not to say that you weren't already wired that way-- remember a lot of people who have homosexual orientation choose to "pass" by maintaining heterosexual relationships, and a lot of people, because they have homosexual fantasies believe that makes them gay. Unless you feel you need to know whether you were born gay or chose to be gay to be at peace with yourself, focus on being content that you've known your sexual identity through most of your life-- it's not always so clear cut.

Answer 2

You were born that way , No one can choose their sexual orientation if we could I think most people would choose the easiest path and not go against the grain . In a study done by John Hopkins University Medical Center it was found that Gay men and women have a certain gene that no heterosexual man or woman has . It was found that this Gene could be the link that in future generations may prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that sexual orientation is determined before birth . Most men and women do not know what their orientation may be until preadolescence , but the study also found that gay men and women know from a very young age .

Answer 3

It is a proven fact through scientific studies and surveys as well as many other ways that you do not chose to be that way and you are not born that way. As a young child around the age of 9 or 10 a part of the brain begins developing that controls sexuality. If that section of the brain (the medulla) ever gets injured, infected, concussed etc..., chances greatly increase during that period that you may develope a different sexuality. So you did not chose to be this way and you were not born this way.

Answer 4

There's two different kinds of homosexuals. Some are born this way, such as our friend here, and my cousin Joe who was very effeminate since he was a toddler, and there's the kind who have had some bad or weird things happen to them and have turned to homosexuality as a way of dealing with those issues.

For the latter ones I think it is entirely possible to "deal" with your issues and come to an appreciation of heterosexuality, but I imagine it would take some hard mental effort, some serious psychological information and deep insight and reflection. And honesty with yourself. And a desire to change.

But shouldn't everyone take the time to work on their issues?

Also gay sex doesn't affect me one iota, so go to it boys! I just don't want this genetic thing to give some people an excuse to be defensive when they actually do have pent up emotions, held back hurt and unexpressed anger or outbursts of rage .

Answer 5

Born. I knew when I was 6. People will argue that children are not sexual, and that may be, but I just felt this "attraction" towards other boys at school. Nothing sexual I just wanted to be around them and befriend them yada yada. When I was 12 I learned what the word gay meant. When I was 14 I went into severe depression and thought a lot about killing myself. When I was 16 I came out to myself, though hadn't accepted it yet. I'm 22 now and happy with the way I am, it's just me and I'm always going to be me. Boy I can't wait to see the looks on people's faces when I tell them they sure will be surprised!

Answer 6

I don't think that u were born that way but i do thnik u chose 2 be gay because when u get old enough 2 realize what u want u go 4 it! As an infant u can't cry gay or decide from the womb that u r!

Answer 7

I know a lot of people that, when they were children, chose what they were going to be when they grew up. Of course, they all changed their minds several times. I don't think it's possible for your to have made a choice such as this as a child since you did not possess the knowledge necessary to make an informed choice.

The arument that sexual orientation is a choice is the byproduct of ignorance since you cannot choose who you find attractive, by gender or any other traits. It is not possible for you to choose the characteristics you find desirable.

Answer 8

You were born that way. You have come to terms with how you are. It is part of growing up. Google the kinsey reports. It details what percentage of society is straight, what amount is buy and how much are gay.

Visit a gay book store or a gay section of a bookstore. Go to a gay lesbian community center. Give your self time and education to come to terms with this.

Good luck.

Answer 9

I believe you were probably born that way. We don't always choose what we want to be, it is already fate. We all are born with different problems in life, and have to deal with them the best way we can, and it sure helps if people out there can support us no matter what it is we need help with.

Answer 10

Of course you were born that way. You are fortunate, in my opinion, to have had a clear vision of your sexuality at such a young age. I know a few others who also were certain from a very young age. Unfortunately, most of us grow up around a lot of straight people, and learn things from them, and with our true orientation and our learned straight one, there is a lot of confusion through the teen years and even young adult years.