I have a question about "bonding" with your baby. Serious, respectful answers please?

Question

I bottlefed my babies, majority breastmilk, but never nursed directly. I cannot imagine loving them anymore than I already do. Does anyone beleive that bottle/formula feeding parents do not love and bond with their children like breastfeeding mothers do? I can't get it. Love is love. I understood what their cries and babble meant before they could even speak...half sleep, down the hall, three rooms away, I could decipher the cry that meant "I'm poopy" from "I'm hungry" or "Hurry!! I'm poopy and hungry!!"

I looked into their little eyes and could read their thoughts as I held them and fed them their bottles. They read mine too. We shared telepathic laughter, baby smiling with milk oozing down their chin. I have taught my youngest simple games and silly sounds that we alone share, our special things we do. When she sees me, she goes "bbbbrrrrrrrt gooo!" and I go "gooooooo bbbbrrrrttt!!" And we burst into laughter. She's nine months
How can anyone negate a mother's bond with her baby?

Milwifeand mom!! Hey, please re-read my question!! I'm not attacking anyone! Especially not a formula user, hell, I am strictly using formula now myself!!

I know how you feel though, and I know you just mis-read my question. I was just saying basically how those people that say breastfeeding mothers love their babies more and bond to them more, is a crock of 100% grade A bullshit because I know what I feel for my kids and I never successfully directly breastfed either of them. They were bottlefed with breastmilk and then formula. I'm sorry if I was not clear enough.

Answer 1

Honey, do NOT listen to anyone who tells you that you are less bonded because you bottle fed your baby. I bottle fed all three of mine.. lack of breast milk.. and I have a wonderful relationship with my children.. that mother/child bond cannot be denied no matter what you do. My children are now ages 30, 25 and 10 [yes, I know, haha] and we all have a very close bond.. Why? it had nothing to do with bottles.. it has everything to do with love. They KNOW that I love them more than my own life.

Answer 2

Since I have nothing to compare it to personally I would say that breastfeeding helped our bond a lot. But our son is a Daddy's boy and his bond with daddy also very strong.
My sister formula fed both her children and had a very strong bond with both of them as infants.
My belief is the the less anxiety and stress that the mother has then the stronger her bond will be to that baby. For me, breastfeeding worked - I was relaxed and didn't have to worry about mixing formula and cleaning bottles. For others - well, they can relax knowing that their baby is getting enough food or they don't have to deal with pumping on the toilet at work. For my sister it was not having to listen to her high-strung husband hounding her to just give the baby a bottle.
A relaxed mom has a happy baby and that right there is your bond.

Answer 3

I bottlefed and nursed my daughter (nursed until 6 months). I will say there is a bond having your baby right there skin to skin contact. As far as nursing mothers loving their babies more, NO. If you are loving and snuggling and kissing on your baby then of course you love them. But I will say there is nothing like the bond of nursing. It's something that you can't put into words. But I don't think it has anything to do with love, love can be shown in many ways.

Answer 4

I don't think there is any difference whether you breast or bottle feed them. My daughter was breastfed for 4 days but she wasn't getting enough of my milk so I switched her to bottle. We are bonded just fine. The bond between mother and child is a very beautiful thing! I think they say that you bond more with breastfeeding as a way to get more mom's to do it, cuz really they do get the best nutrients from breast milk, but some of us simply can't do it that way. So, anyway, yeah there is no difference in the bond period. :)

Answer 5

I breastfed both my daughters (one for 14 months and the other is still nursing at 21 months), and I am a strong proponent of breastfeeding. However, I would never make a generalization that breastfeeding moms have a better bond with their children than bottlefeeding moms.

I personally chose to breastfeed for the nutritional aspect along with the convenience of not having to prepare bottles... not to mention not having to buy formula.

I will say that I do not like seeing young babies with their bottles propped up in their mouths. I don't understand why parents can't wait for their 6-month-olds to hold their bottles by themselves. Honestly, is it that much work to hold your baby 4-6 times a day while he drinks his bottle?

Babies need human contact -- they need us to touch them and hold them and cuddle them. And I believe that human contact is what leads to a good parent/child bond, no matter how you feed your baby.

Answer 6

A mothers love is a mothers love. I would never change that I breastfeed my daughter till 3 YES 3 YEARS OLD ALMOST 4
The bond comes from your heart being there for them letting them feel that comfort from you which I feel they can feel from the time they are sleeping eating and moving around inside you and before.....I was lucky I got to stay home with my daughter which a bond being that they have more attention but love is love from a good mother

Answer 7

i don't think anyone really can. They have their opinions and that's about it. I breast fed for the fact of nutrition and price compared to bottle fed. Cause lets be real the baby's head is still close to the heart wether it's a bottle or a breast your putting in their mouth how are you not bonding with the child. Fathers can do the same thing. I breast fed my oldest for about two weeks when he became jaundice but had to stop and pump while he was put under lights however once he was able to go back on the breast he didn't want to latch on due to it was much easier to get it from a bottle. My daughter i breast fed for about four mo. when i had to go back to work. And my youngest i breast fed for about 8mo and stopped when he started biting... (he seems to be the worst of my bunch)...lol

Answer 8

what a crock of crap i had three babys none of them were breast fed and none had my milk i did the bottle thing i didnt care for breast feeding it hurt and my drs were find with it dont listen to what other people say its none of their damn business it really upsets me that people can judge you as a parent it would be one thing if you didnt feet your children but u did and there is still that bond my boys are now 21,20,and 18 i have a very strong bond with all of them and it had nothing to do with wether they were breast fed or not.everyone said if you dont breast feed they will be sick all the time guess what they were so healthy healthier than woman i know who breast fed so dont let them you know whats get to you you will have the same bond as a breast feeding mother there are many woman who cant breast fed what about those woman do people criticize them no i dont think so ignore those people they are just ignorant and maybe they shouldnt even be parents since they are speaking from the ***.good luck and toast to the bottle

Answer 9

You are another one of those formula feeder bashers.

Look here...let me tell you something. Just because you breastfed does not mean that everyone else should. It was your choice not mine and no one bashed you for it. So leave use that do use formula alone for God's sake. You are not one to judge us. We love our children just as much as the next person. Stop worrying about these things when it does not effect you directly whatsoever.

God does not care if a woman breastfeeds or formula feed, it does not matter to Him whatsoever and those who do breastfeed should not even bash us that use formula. If formula was so bad then it would have never been created and FDA would not approve it and have it on store shelves to be sold.

All my children were fed formula and I have always been close to them before they were born. My husband is even close to them...it is not all about mothers, fathers play a role too.

You people need to let this breastfeeding/formula feeding matter to rest already.

We have abused children in this world and you are worried about someone formula feeding. We have hungry children in this world and you are worried about formula feeding. We have homeless chidlren in this world and you are worried about formula feeding. Get off it already.

Answer 10

I don't know how anyone could negate it. I chose to breastfeed, but it wasn't to bond with my baby. For one thing she refused to take any kind of bottle that they make! I feel like the bond I had with her wasn't based on the method of nursing, the bond and love started before she was even born and was solidified the first time I held her in my arms.