Why does my 15 yr. old daughter reject her heritage?

Question

I am Irish-American,my husband is Latino-American...and she wants everything African-American.(music,way of speech,friends,etc.)
I am not a prejudice person...I just don't get it. Any insight?

It does not make me angry.
I just do not understand!
She does this to the exclusion of everything else--for example,ONLY watching the black TV network,etc.

Answer 1

Peer Pressure. I've noticed that whatever is "cool" and publicized by the media, and is most offensive to parents, is what the majority of kids migrate too. Also, its easier to go with flow and like and act how most people do, it's much harder to wear a Celtic cross and listen to Dean Martin than it is to wear a jersey, fake gaudy necklaces, and listen to 50 Cent. So normally the kids just go with whatever is easiest, because they desperately want to fit in. Also, if you recall the 70's parents hated metal and rock, but now, that doesn't offend that generation, but the new attitude of "I can do whatever I want", "No body tells me what to do", and "I don't care what you think" and "If I have more stuff, People will respect me more" that is produced from the...not African (True African culture is much more colorful, original, and inspiring, this new American Black Gangsta thing is just....something completely different and often quite tasteless in my opinion), but from the Rap big-wigs and other popular celebrities, these things are what the kids adopt. I honestly don't see it as appealing, I was in high school when the whole thing started and I was listening to Mozart, my sisters hate it, but my brother kinda likes it, it just depends. They'll throw the "You just don't understand" wall up, but really, it's all got to do with growing-up, developing, and fitting-in, and few kids get away from that.

Most importantly you need to somehow teach her to think for herself, and show her the beauty of her own culture...(a trip to Ireland would be a great idea...though not likely), but I hope I've helped you understand somehow...this is all just what I've observed in the past 10 years and diagnosed for myself. I'm with you, I don't see the appeal, but I get where they're coming from. All of us have to rebel somehow and sometime to come into our own.

Answer 2

She may be confused and has chosen to adopt African American things and people because she feels a connection to our race. A lot of people are doing that lately and it is staggering. It used to be a time when I would see a car fixed up with rims and hear music booming from the trunk and I knew that it would be a black guy in it...not anymore. Whites, Latinos, Asians and other races seem to migrating toward African American music, speech, dress, etc. I am black, older and wiser with children of my own. I understand your concern. I would feel the same way if my girls chose to cling to another race as opposed to their own. Perhaps your daughter likes the way that the media and entertainment industry has portrayed African American living. Some of it is really for entertainment purposes only but she has no way of knowing that. I don't see you as being prejudiced. I think that a person can be proud of their race and heritage without being prejudiced. I know that I am black & proud but I wish other races well.

Answer 3

could it be her peers are influencing her? could she be at the age of rejecting everything and doing her own thing? Can it be because something the kids told her she hangs out with? Could it be the school where she attends? Could it be everyone she is around likes the African-American music? How does she dress? So do you think if you moved things would be better or different? How strong has "your" influence been on your daughter? Does she mix with your relatives more than she sees her own friends? What traditions have you taught her about "your" Irish-American background, and do you celebrate them? Have you been lax when it comes to her mixing with different kids, like saying "no" to her? Whatever way she was brought up she will keep as she gets older. Seems to late to help her change.

Answer 4

To answer your question, your daughter is 15. Right now she is at an age where her mind is impressionable to friends, and fads. As she becomes older this will sucede.
To give you further insight on the question you have to understand that to some people it is appearantly cool to imitate the black culture and lifestyle. Next time you go to the mall look around. You'll see a drove of young men and women that essentially want to be "black". Trust me we don't like it either, but you have to instill your heritage into her. If you can take a trip to Ireland, or Whatever Latin country you are from. Let her see first hand true heritage, and pride, and not what she see's on television.

Answer 5

She's young, and right now she's rebelling. Also, African-American culture is seen as cool by many kids these days. Keep an eye on her and make sure she doesn't go too far in her rebellion, and she should be okay. Let her stretch her wings and establish her independent identity, no matter how ridiculous it seems to you. Give her a few years and she'll grow out of it.

Answer 6

Its mostly because of the music she listens to and the people she hangs out with. At this age, teenagers absorb everything they are exposed to, it could be the neighborhood, or just the people she hangs out with in school. If not the neighborhood than I am sure its the friends in school. If this frustrates you, maybe you should talk to her and explain the situation she is in. (but remember: the people a teenager hangs out with have a great influence on the teenagers future, and other minor things like music do as well)

Answer 7

She is going with the "times". Children are subjected to the media and all it has to offer, like shaking your booty and wearing thongs. It is so popular that people start speaking slang african-american and try to give themeselves the accent. I myself despise this movement, not african-americans, this monstrosity of a way of life. But, what can you do? I suppose all of her friends are into it too. I wouldn't say necessarily that she is rejecting it, unless she blatantly stated that. She is becoming a product of pop culture.

Answer 8

Rap and stuff are what's in today! She's into what's considered to be 'the thing' right now. As she gets older the pressure to conform is less and she'll eventually develop a more personalized taste and interest in her heritage. Be patient- Just don't pull your hair out in the process!

Answer 9

African-American is what is "in" with her friends. It is what is cool. Either that or she learned of their culture and truly likes it. In that case you had 15 years to be teaching her her hertiage. I know most don't do it or think of it but hey if you were wanting her to be a little clone then should have started when she was born. Let her be her own person and offer to teach her hertiage, and make sure she knows the offer stands anytime she wants to learn of it.

Answer 10

Possibly because it is a phase, and she knows it torques you. Didn't you do anything intentionally as a 15yr old that irked your parents?

I know, when I was 15, I did. It's a cause and effect, reaction causing, attention getting behavior.

Even if it isn't a phase, and she is incredibly ethnocentric, are you going to be able to accept her for all her ideocyncracies?