I have been seperated for almost 3 years now. I want to divorce him. He has finally aggreed and realizes that we will never be together again. He called me a few days ago to tell me that he has already hired an attorney for an uncontested divorce and I need to do noting but wait for the papers to arrive and sign them. We have 3 children together and he wants joint custody. I want full custody. He is only doing this to make me miserable. He don't want the kids, he never calls to tlak to them he only calls to tell me to come back to him. He is an alcoholic, was in jail for threatening me and the kids by holding a gun to my head and my oldest son. I am taking care of the kids on my own, he has never paid any child support.I am a single mom with 3 so I am not rich. so I was hoping that I wouldn't have to hire an attorney but since I dont agree with what he wants should I hire one? Any advice would be greatly appreciated... Thanks!!
2006-08-20 09:23:02 · 9 answers · asked by momof3isme 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First, dont agree upon an uncontested divorce. Thats his attys advice hoping you will agree to everything and once you sign, its all over. Just tell him you do not agree to the custody issue and will see him in court. You can contact your states legalaid assoc.for advice or nearby university with a law dept. You can get help from both for free. I will try and help you here though. First, unless you have charges pending or been convicted of child or drug abuse, the courts will award you custody of the kids along with the house and state mandated child support to be garnished out of his paycheck automatically and from any tax refunds, etc. Now you can go into court without an atty. telling the judge you cant afford one if he asks but are only contesting the child custody/support part, if you chose. Now if you agree upon the rest of his desires, totally up to you, tell the judge you have no problem with it. Now if you fear for yours or your familys safety, you can get a protective restraining order against him. Now he will probably get state mandated visitation rights but with his background Id ask that they be supervised only due to fear he might grab the kids and run. Now his atty and him may threaten you in any way to agree to an uncontested divorce but remember once you sign his papers,its over. Also, if available you can get a paralegal to help you out and cut costs dramatically. If I can be of further assistance, please feel free to email me, especially if you get further paperwork and have any questions. Good luck
2006-08-20 09:51:24 · answer #1 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What bothers me is the potential for abuse. Although you are separated, he still has hope, but once you really start proceedings and he sees he's losing everything for sure, the possibility that he may use the gun becomes real. Do not meet him anywhere and get a protective order. Joint custody will only keep him in your life.There may be a law firm that will take your case "pro bono"--free. Ask legal aide if there is one.See if they will go after him for child support or will the state government's social services department go after him. Best Wishes
2006-08-20 16:55:15 · answer #2 · answered by tina 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Definitly seek an attorney and do it fast. he probably wants joint custody as this will affect any order pertaining to child support where-as if you have sole custody it will be on paper in a court order that he has to pay. Check with Legal Aide for finacial assistance.
2006-08-20 16:31:39 · answer #3 · answered by Martha S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wait to see what the papers actually say regarding custody. If it says in there joint custody, get yourself a good attorney.
2006-08-20 18:08:21 · answer #4 · answered by bluez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES GO GET AN ATTORNEY. Most states allow you to get a pro-bono one for free or a very small fee. Plus tell him to quit calling and if he wants to talk to you to contact your attorney. Plus go buy a small tape recorder that hooks up to your phone ( cost about 15-20 bucks) to record when he calls. Tell him that calling you is harrassment and you want him to stop. If he wants to talk to the children setup a schudule with the lawyers. There is a bunch more you can do if you want to know just e-mail are message me.
2006-08-20 16:50:04 · answer #5 · answered by Brittany 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You definately need to talk to an attorney. Always, always cover your butt. If you don't have the money, check with legal aide. They will get you an attorney for what you can afford. I'm glad you are getting a divorce. He's no good. He doesn't need to try for joint. Good luck.
2006-08-20 16:36:14 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT LISTEN TO HIM ...HE IS LIEING TO YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If he wants full custody then he needs to go to court and so do you...If you sit and wait for the papers to arrive he has that much ahead of you and it shows that you don't care.....Get an Attorney NOW..and he won't have anycustody if you have your lawyer tell the judge what happened to you with your husband..the gun...and he will have to pay for your atty...DO NOT sign any papers let your atty tell you what to do ...not your ex..He wants uncontested you want to contest it....
2006-08-20 16:35:48 · answer #7 · answered by Mrs. M 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You then need a lawyer and a good one. If you feel this way now, make sure you have a lawyer that is going to fight for you and your kids. I didn't have a good one and it is difficult to protect your kids when orders are set. Good luck. Don't let anything stand in the way of your kids. God Bless.
2006-08-20 16:50:17 · answer #8 · answered by Right Wing Extremist 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT SIGN ANYTHING. And if that wasn't clear enough, DO NOT SIGN ANYTHING.
You are being manipulated by your alcoholic abusive soon to be ex husband.
GET A LAWYER and protect yourself and your kids.
2006-08-20 16:31:42 · answer #9 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋