Should I worry about the future?

Question

have been with my husband for 4 years married for two. The last two years have not been easy as he gets very defensive and has a bad temper. In the last two years he has: thrown his wedding ring at me, thrown his X box game remote on the gournd breaking it, punched the steering wheel in his truck repeadlty, hit and thrown things across the room many times, crushed a bag of potato chips and dumped it all over my living room floor, slammed his fists down on tables, rammed his chair into his desk, hit his key board off onto the floor and he has cursed at me saying **** you, or shut up,... I have tried to stayed with him and work through his anger. This behavior has improved in the last 2 months and he communicates a lot more, but i really worry about future behavoir. He is working on it but i don't think its gone. We don't have any chidlren..Do you think this behavoir will continue into the future? How bad is his behavior? He says he's not as bad as most people....

Answer 1

he is wayyyyyyyyyyyyy worse than most people. run girl runnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

Answer 2

Alright love you should read what you just wrote. I know I've heard that when you're in a situation its hard to have that 'outside' vision of it, like we can.
But if you're so concerned that you're asking strangers there is a problem here.
I know that there are fights. Once in a while i've even tossed things. But once you break enough of your own stuff and have to buy new stuff you understand.
Firstly....why does he play xbox to begin with?
I suppose i just dont get that obcession. I know that if he's taking out his agression from the game out on you then he prolly shouldn't play it.
I think you should be worryed about future behaviour.
Things like this don't fix themselves and sometimes it might be beyond his ability. I would suggest he see a conselor and see if they can find out the root of the problem.
Take it from someone who has seen abuse, These anger rooted things never get better without the right kinda help.
If he's unwilling to seek it you have to decide where you stand. As much as you may love him you have to be safe and feel safe.

His excuse of 'not being as bad as most people' seems like just the beginning of badness ta me.

Then he'll be bringing you flowers after he beat the tar outta you and aplogizing, then in the same breath saying he loves you to hook you in.

I'd tread very careful. Cause whatever decision you make you'll have ta live with.

Answer 3

Seems as though he has some issues. Not sure where its all stemming from. I think I would have to telll him.. either the temper would have to go or I would. Let him choose. If he continued to throw these fits.. then I would pack my stuff and leave. What is the quality of life being in this relationship. Yes, until he gets his issues of whatever he is angry about out in the open or get some help.. the temper tantrums will continue, sadly it may even get worse. If he is making an honest effort to improve his anger.. and if you do love him, stay until he changes back (hopefully he wont change back) however.. if a person has this type of issues.. until he gets them out of his system.. they are only dormant. He sounds like he may be very young. Good luck.

Answer 4

If he didn't act this way before you were married there's a possibilty he's doing drugs. Or My husband got into a horrible car wreck 4 months after we started dating. With Frontal Lobe brain trama it's very hard to control your emotions and it did go away with time, but he wouldn't even realize he was doing it until he calmed down. Has he had any injury to hies head or spine? The effects can lastfor years.Later my husband was addicted to meth for over a year and it turned him into a monster and he did get clean but it took me leaving him and lettinghim lose everything to wake up. Tell him to stop taking you for granted , you are not an emotional punching bag. Mental abuse is far worse than physcial. I think the most important lesson women need realize is you CANNOT CHANGE A PERSON, NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO. THEY HAVE TO CHANGE OF THEIR OWN FREE WILL. NOTHING YOU SAY OR DO WILL TRIGGER THEM TO DO THAT EITHER. I hope this helps.

Answer 5

How bad is his behavior? I say he definitely has anger management issues and is verbally abusive towards you. The fact that he's aware of his own problems doesn't guarantee he will change unless he really wants to. It's tough to say for sure but your best bet is to always err on the safe side and protect yourself because you will never know if his anger will escalate to actual violence. Maybe you can do a trial separation for a while and let him work on his issues. Just tell him that you don't feel safe at home with his behavior and will return as soon as his anger is under control and when you feel safe being around him.

Answer 6

Oh if he does not grow up, his behavior will become worse. Please be careful, I hate to read stories about domestic violence and it may turn into that. He needs some sort of counseling, anger management.

Sorry to say but I would not want kids if I faced a situation like that, children deserve to be brought up in a loving home not in a place where daddy is cursing mommy and throwing things around. If you are afraid, start thinking about your safety now. Do something, don't wait until it is to late, it is your life.

Answer 7

Im sorry but i dont think he will ever change unless you get him some real counseling. I really dont know how y ou deal with that because i sure wouldnt. Tell him you will leave him if he doesnt change. Tell him you deserve better treatment and without that treatment the marriage will go down the gutter. What if you guys had children would he be an abusive father?? You dont know that so i strongly suggest you get this under control NOW!!

Answer 8

unless you know the reason for his recent improvement then you need to be careful....what made him angry ..and what has caused the change is relevant..... im also concerned about his statement that hes not as bad as most people..... that seems as if he feels hes not really doing anything wrong because theres people who are worse.......instead of realising that instead...hes worse than most people...and maybe not as bad as some... he needs to sort out his issues ...before you should consider looking too far in the future with him...if hes willing to do that ...then only you can decide what you want to do....but you are wise to not have children for the time being.... he needs help from the sound of it ...i say that ...not in a judgemental way...but more of concern... for both of your wellbeing...

Answer 9

Sounds like hes taking a step in the right direction. Just keep encouraging him, and dont look too far into the future, just take and savor each day at a time!

Answer 10

I broke up with my ex yesterday who has a simular problem, plus i am expecting his baby...I have decided that I dont want him around as its no good for my unborn baby. Me being pregnant has not changed him. So I am putting myself first for a change.. who knows my bloke might realise.. i would suggest the next time he acts like this.. you kick him out and have a bit of time alone...think things through...but I really think they have anger problems and need help....maybe suggest that to him.. good luck

Answer 11

Yes you should worry. His saying he's not as bad as most people is just his way of excusing his behavior. Put the cycle of violence in to any search engine and read. Educate yourself and then decide for yourself whether or not you should worry.