im feelin kinda down, can any1 help me?

Question

im a social outcast :[. got no1 to talk to the whole day. im basically in isolation this summer vacation, and its really getting to me. we had guests this weekend, and having people in the house made me feel a little good (im an only child too), except that since i hardly talk to anyone on a daily basis, i couldnt open my mouth., my usual problem in front of people. thats probably why i dont have any friends, plus ive moved around a lot, and its hard to keep realtions with anyone. im in a rut, theres no1 in my neighborhood, the only way to break out of this is to wait until school starts in 2 weeks. i always tell myself year after year, things will look up, but then my year goes crappy, im all alone once again. heck if i was another person, i woudnt ant to talk to me either, coz i probably come out as stuck up to most people, but in reality, i think im just afraid to open my mouth, coz i might say something wrong, which has happened in the past,god i wonder if anyone can help me?

i also dont know how to approach people, and make friends, im not good at making friends.

Answer 1

I know exactly what you mean, and I always felt very left out too. Even among the people I kinda hung out with at school, I never felt accepted.
I've wondered myself if I ever even want to feel excepted. That maybe I like feeling this way? Makes me feel special? That maybe I just am better off without people. Well, I know I don't like to be alone. I wish I had someone to talk to all the time and sometimes I just think that if I saw anyone that I kinda talked to at school I'd just hug them.
I have been a Christian for some time. Always listening well in church. I can't blame God for me being so scared all the time of things. God has given me peace before, but I know he just wants me to get up and be more.. bold.

I started small with things I could handle. People don't know how weird I am or how shy I am and they talk to me expecting a normal, confident answer. I figure if I dressed odd, dressed how I always wanted to dress and not give a F*** about what other people think, that it would take me one step closer. People wouldn't *hopefuly* expect be to be something I wasn't.

I didn't have to start talking to everyone. I am bad coming up with things to say as I have typed more words than I've ever spoken. I'd start with my clothes, make them reflect my inward appearence since my words weren't working for me.

I was always afraid about my looks too and always dressed just like everyone else to fit in. But dressing different has given me confidence. To express myself in public in a way that most other people don't. I'm starting college soon and we'll see how well this works there....

It can take a heck of a lot of time to boost your confidence and get use to talking to people, but it can happen!! You can completely turn your life the opposite way around.

I do want people to accept me for who I am. I heard that feels reallllllly good.

As far as turning to God goes. Yeah, go for it... but God isn't gonna do your work for you.

And maybe luckily.(by God). I can't think of the other thing I was gonna say. about God... because I've been too open minded lately?? Yes... no..

Best Wishes.

Answer 2

Maybe try participating is sports or some kind of group. But maybe when you get the oppurtunity to talk with someone try asking a question? Sometimes that might start up a conversation.

Also, I have noticed that a lot of people that I label "social outcast" I notice that they are not good at reading body language or do things at the wrong time, like approach someone when clearly body language will say that the person at the moment is not in the mood to talk.

Most importantly, people pick up on weakness and insecurity and people tend to pick on the weak. So even though you may feel insecure practice not showing..walk straight and with a smile on your face. When I was in high school people use to think I was really stuck up but in reality I was really shy. It helps if you walk around portraying confidence and happiness, you'll look more approachable but don't over do it cuz then you'll just look weird. Good luck.

Answer 3

Well I was a social outcast as well and things picked up when I went to a dorky college where I was the least dorkiest among the crowd.

One thing to do is to pick out the kids who seem to have the same problem you have and then you will fit right in and feel comfortable. It is hard to like to do the things that we are least good at, but in the case of social experience you want to try to get a lot of mileage. Get your school friends to join after school clubs with you, so you won't be lonely in the clubs and so you can get more social experience. Also you might consider getting a job. That helped me immensely.

Answer 4

I am not medical professional, but it sounds like you're suffering from social anxiety. You listen too much to the negative thoughts that go on inside your own mind, and they prohibit you from reaching out to interact with others. IT also sounds worry based.

Worry is one of the worst things you can do to your body. First, you might consider picking up the book, "How to stop Worrying and Start Living" by Dale Carnegie. EVERY library in America has a copy of it, I can almost guarantee it.

Next, since you spend a lot of time in isolation, perhaps you might think about trying some other self-help materiels. Authors such as Dr. Wayne Dyer and Deepak Chopra are fantastic because they teach you methods of living that will improve the way you see yourself. They offer eye opening material that will seriously make you want to get out there and start sharing your life with others.

Answer 5

Besides being yourself, you need to be interesting. Know what you are talking about, talk with sensitivity for others feelings, then you can open your mouth with confidence. Confidence is key. People like and trust people who trust themselves. BUT - don't be cocky. Nobody likes an insensitive jerk.
What is it you are interested in? Bicycling? Hiking? Skateboarding? Scrapbooking? Chances are that if you just get out and do it you will meet others doing it that thing too. Even if its just going to the library.
Other than that-- laugh, smile, have a good time... Enjoy every day that you have, whether or not you have someone to share it with. When you are smart, sensitive, loving, kind, confident, and gracious, (gracious in giving grace and in receiving it...) then people would be crazy not to want to hang out with you. MANY good wishes for lots of friends this year.

Answer 6

Sounds like you have done some soul searching and see a little blue sky with school starting soon. Because you move often, consider a hobby or pastime that you can continue and at any new location. Maybe a martial art to help focus, or playing a musical instrument. Pick one that you feel passionate about and continue. It will help open the door to meeting people and making friendships.

Answer 7

Well to start with you have to help your self no one else can open your mouth. Maybe you don't talk because you think other are watching you. Well no body cares what you do,and if you will notice, other are busy with their own problems and quirks.They don't know you have a problem. you have made your own problem giant by magnifying it, probable spent time alone dwelling on it. But the truth is nobody knows but you.And don't put alot of importance on friends you have yourself, that is all that will take you Thur life not meaningless conservation.but for the sake of being verbal, get out, and start by saying, hi, thank you, And don't work yourself up by being under a spot lite, thinking that everybody is waiting for you to talk.

Answer 8

I'll be honest with you, when I was younger, my family moved around alot. I too, was an only child. we moved from one town to another. It was hard for me to make friends. For one thing, I knew I would be moving again, so why bother. I always seemed to wait for the other person to make the moves to be friends with me. I was very shy as a child, until you got to know me. I, like many children, use to get picked on all of the time. It continued on into junior high. One day, a kid that was in my homeroom class asked me something that totally stunned me. He asked me "Why are you such a snob? You never talk to anyone in class." I thought... Me...? A snob? Here I thought no one liked me or wanted to talk to me. I was so lonely. I realized that my shyness and being so quiet was coming across as me not wanting anyone near me or being a snob. So, when I got into high school I got more involved with school activities. I became a photographer for my high school newspaper and yearbook. That forced me to talk to people and get to know them. It was fun and I enjoyed meeting all sorts of kids my age, with diiferent and similar backgrounds. I found myself not being shy anymore. I made an effort to talk to people more. Making the first move, if I wanted to get to know someone better. I came to the conclusion that when we're young, we're all a little timid. Not just people who have to move all of the time, or are an only child. So if I were you, I would make the effort to be more friendly and open. Perhaps the kids around you think that, since you're so shy, that you may be a little bit of a snob. If people don't know you, they may very well be judging you as such, and it's the farthest things from the truth. Just be yourself and open up to people. I'm sure in time you'll be having a good time with many friends.

Keep your chin up and don't give up on yourself or on others. Keep smiling!

Answer 9

Awww sweetie, :-( I'm sorry you are going through this...I can relate somewhat, I used to be that same way when I was in middle school, & some of high school. It gets better...
Do you have supportive parents? If not, that could be a problem...Hang in there, it won't last forever!
Do things that you like to do by yourself, reading is a good way to learn things & keep occupied. Join a church youth group to meet good people & make good friends! Good luck to you!

Answer 10

you are special, as we are all!!! cheer up, as you get older, you will find your own way and personality in life. Not everyone is a social butterfly~~me, personally, I don't like large crowds and prefer the company of a few friends. That works for me and that is what I accept is good for me. Be patient with yourself. You could try extending yourself to a few people who you trust; if it doesn't work out,. try someone else. good luck to you.