Child has bad anxiety!?

Question

She gets too nervous about anything she can think of. I actually got a call from her teacher last year about her shyness. She doesn't like to go to birthday parties, because of there being "too many kids"....Is prozac the only answer, or are there natural vitamins that really would help...I'd hate to have to put her on medicine, but I want my little girl back....what should i do?...she is nine....HELP!

Answer 1

Bad anxiety? Do you notice she is often trying to take a deep breath? Does she have the ability to break down crying without much of a trigger? Does she wet the bed? These are some signs of anxiety. How does she generally get along with other children? What is her relationship like with her teachers? Does she seem to have an easier time speaking and communicating with adults then with other children? Is there someone else she can confide in rather than yourself or the other parent? Some children have fear of communicating issues with their parents for one reason or another. Sometimes an Aunt or Uncle or maybe a neighbor she is quite comfortable with. This person could then ask her what kinds of things bother her at different social settings. It is best they do this while playing or some fun event. This way the child's guard is down and they are at a more relaxed state.

Also playing into a child’s fears or anxieties can also incur more fear or anxiety. As a parent you have to have the strength to sit back and "let it happen", you can not always step in to help the child. Someone once said a good saying "let go and let god" I am not overly religious but the saying says it all. Sometimes you have to put the faith back in the child and allow them to deal with their own issues and anxieties.

As outsiders we can always give advice without fully understanding the degree of your situation. I would seriously reconsider the meds unless or course a doctor that is very good with children has deemed it necessary to treat your child with such meds.

One other thing I would like to mention. Don't be to alarmed with a teachers opinion or analysis of your child. I would ask, which your probably have already done, for examples of situations where they noticed the shyness/anxiety, was it when they were asked to perform scholastic tasks in front of her peers? This is a natural anxiety for many children.

Also, have you tried to enroll your daughter in other community activities:

- Karate (Confidence)
- Scouts/Brownies (Confidence/social skills)
- Piano lessons (Focus/Confidence)
- Swimming (Confidence/ Trust)

You should also create a reward chart system for her. Each time she tries something or gets through something without having the anxiety or nervousness control her she would get rewarded with a sticker for each thing successfully tried or completed. She could get one sticker for trying and two stickers for completing. Once she has accumulated lets say 10 stickers you would reward her with a trip to the movies or maybe a toy at the toy store or candy or something she would appreciate and enjoy.

The chart system has really helped me with some of my son’s issues and actually resolved them.

I hope you find a solution to your little girl’s issues.

All the best,

Gary

Answer 2

I wish you had noted how old your daughter is - it does make a difference in terms of counseling and medicine.

It is quite helpful to have your child see a child psychologist/therapist. Through gentle play, art and conversation, there will be clues as to the source of this anxiety, and there will be ways to start improving the situation. Do not turn to medicine right away - it is a mask for a possibly real disorder that might need immediate help. Also you don't want your kid pegged in school as a "medicated" one - because that's a legacy she might not have to bear.

My son has terrible anxiety and did every since he was 2 years old (he is now 10). Some aspects go away, some change, some he manages better over time, etc. but there were 2 times over 8 years where I felt he needed someone (outside of Mom and Dad) to talk freely with, someone who could also help us find ways to deal with the situation.

Remember, shyness is not necessarily anxiety, there are tons of kids who hate birthday parties, and crowds make lots of people crazy. So, please, get an independent assessment and don't worry if it turns out that you just have a bashful kid who doen't like big social situations - I bet she has other great qualities.

Answer 3

Whatever you do don't put her on drugs...there are too many side effects and long term damage done. Would she thank you when she is in her 20's and addicted to prozac?
Shyness is not such a big issue. Some children are just quieter than others.
Read The Indigo Children and The Crystal Children. She could be one of these very special (NOT sick children....what a blessing that would be)
Try to build up her self esteem, get her into Personal Dvelopment to increase her self worth.Keep telling her she's special..you love her no matter what.
There is a really lovely woman who helps kids realise their potential called Lisa McInnes-Smith www.lisaspeaks.com she has a wonderful tape called I'm a walking talking miracle. - my son loved it.
Also there are nutritional things you can do to help her own body cope with stress and do what's needed. email me.
Make sure she isn't being teased or picked on by other children...who wants to go to a party if you are a target?
Overall....don't let her think she's a problem or has a problem. Being shy is OK.
Better than being sick!!

Answer 4

That sounds like me when I was younger. I was painfully shy and hated being away from my parents (sleep-overs were terrifying). Parties and large gatherings were so scary because of all the people. My parents accepted that I was shy and didn't put me on any drugs. However, they gave me lots of support and encouraged me to "get out" more. It takes an effort on the part of both the child and parent. Sometimes its best to start by taking the child to smaller group gatherings (consisting mainly of family or close friends). This shows her that being out with more people is not always scary. I'm seventeen now and it's only in the last few years that I've managed to "get a handle" on my shyness. I'm a swim instructor and lifeguard at a YMCA and, when i first started, i was terrified of interacting with all the strangers. However, as the months went by, I grew used to the interaction and actually started to enjoy it. I knew I was shy and I made an effort to conquer it. I don't believe that drugs would have helped at all. If anything, I think they would have made it much worse. Drugs have side-effects that cause more problems than they are worth. If you work with your child on her shyness, you should be able to help her overcome it on her own.

P.S. Valerian is very helpful with anxiety. I think you can find it as a tincture or as a pill.

Answer 5

Anxieties are second generation feelings and thoughts that are learned habits ...... teach her ... she is not responsible for her first thoughts or feelings only those that follow. That she does not need to allow herself to sink into those patterns or habits. She can use the awareness of that anxiety or fear as a touchstone that allows her to uplift herself to a higher level of self control and existence. Let her know that all feelings are by their very nature ethereal and need not last long once she learns how to honor them and let them go. The knowledge that no one can feel two feelings at the same time so if she can get herself laughing she can start to own her feelings rather than having them own her. An easy technique you can teach her is to take that fear or anxiety to its farthest extreme and then go little beyond that to the real ridiculous. An example is if she has an anxiety about giving a report in class... have her tell the story about what the worst that can happen when she gives her story?
“As she rises from her seat every head in the room is turned towards her a dark foreboding quiet engulfs the room .....the sudden silence is overwhelming and robs her of her breath and coherent thoughts .... The cruel unforgiving little eyes of her peers rake her with a harsh hunger ready to attack and rend her should she manifest any weakness. Her purse catches on her desk upsetting it scattering her report to the farthest corners of the room ....... her teacher her only ally stands up to help her retrieve it and slips on a couple of loose pages that have gotten underfoot falling into the trash can that the janitor forgotten to empty the night before and where one of the teachers aids had dumped a broken printer cartridge and the young teachers head entering the trash can stirs up all that loose ink instantly dying her platinum blonde hair and her lily white skin the blackest black. Two other students both reach for the same page that lands between their desks and their heads come together with a mighty crack and blood gushes freely from the head of one boy and he jumps out of his desk crying in pain and bumps into a girl that had gotten up to help the teacher out of the trash can pushing her against the rooms picture window which was cracked and now breaks and she falls through it onto the heads and shoulders of the school’s principle, gym teacher and the quarterback of their football team ..... who were walking along the sidewalk directly below her classroom talking winning strategies for that evenings championship game and the grossly overweight coach falls on the young football stars leg breaking it in four places guaranteeing that their teams would lose for the first time in twenty years the championship cup. Her father thinking an easy win had slipped and bet their life saving and even the title to their home on that evening game. Her mother had warned him if he ever gambled again she would leave him and follow her childhood dream of being a surf bum on the Chinese coast. And so on:
Once she works past the original fears to a sense of the ridiculous she will see how it would never happen as she fears and slowly that anxiety will have less and less a hold on her.
Teaching her simple breathing exercises will also help her get control of her feelings and thoughts.

Answer 6

she is nine.. o.k. I don't know how you feel about alternative therapies..so I will just give a few suggestions that I feel would help, it is up to you to entertain the possibility of using them or dismissing them completely, or doing something inbetween. Have you ever considered reiki or other energy work having to do with balancing the body, mind, and spirit? Possibly even massage (although this is not my particular modality), I have heard that it works wonders in many areas. I do not know about accupuncture on one so little, and then again, it may be wonderful. I am thinking that "some" herbal teas (find a good herbalist) may be just what you/she may need. (when this affects one person in the family, it affects the whole family). I, am a reiki practitioner, we (help) facilitate the movement of energy through the body to either balace or help the body to mend it's own imbalances(universal energy flows through the practitioner, which in turn flows through the client (patient) for the greater good).
Just a few suggestions
also, you should have some tests done to see if she is sensative to dyes
and other additives to foods, soaps that she may be using, etc..anything in her environment that she may come in direct contact with.
depending on where you live, sorry to say that people who live near factories, have higher incidences of cancers, drinking water, and even the air we breath can cause toxins to build up in our systems, the list, unfortunately goes on and on....
we live in a very un-natural world re-created by our own intent
Your Child Could Always benefit from talking to a therapist, I would imagine she is bothered by her actions, at times, just as much as others are, and could use a place to "vent" some of her frustrations in a safe and comfortable environment. (choose someone that relates well to your child, there are many out there that do, but some that really do not know how to, it is not their speciality).

Answer 7

I am so happy, it was only a 35 minute drive ( 70 minutes total) but absolutely no sign of anxiety or panic i shopped till I dropped - brilliant! I will now go for the next stage DUAL CARRIAGE way, probably at the weekend, with my husband accompanying me first then the solo drive, if successful the final stage of driving on motorway

Beat Anxiety And Panic Attacks Naturally?

Answer 8

I am 21 years old and suffer from the same kind of anxiety. So far I have found nothing to help me supress it. Some medicine may work for her, but it hasnt for me. I have not heard of any vitamins that help but I havent really looked down that avenue too much either. You might try some counseling to start with to supplement any medicine you might put her on, there may be some sort of root cause to it that could be rectified with therapy. I wish you and your daughter the best of luck.

Answer 9

no I wouldn't medicate my child this early in life so many people think this is the answer today, give her a chance to grow into herself, and some people just feel differently than others, give her time to work it out and be there for her.. In a world of loud and wide open ready for the world kids, she must be like a breath of fresh air. Shy and timid children usually make careful and thoughtful people

Answer 10

WHO PRESCRIBED PROZAC TO A CHILD?!!

OMG that doctor should be taken out back and whiped with a hawthorn branch!!!

Prozac has known side effects on children that can cause them to become suicidal!!!!

Prozac is NOT recommended for children!! EVER!!



But yes, you really should have a licensed physician see your daughter. She may also need psychological therapy in conjunction to medications. or she may not be prescribed any medications at all.

Take her to another doctor if her regular physician prescribed Prozac!! That's negligent and dangerous!