Is it a horrible idea to get married right after high school?

Question

me and boyfriend were thinking about getting married after i graduate from High school.
we already decided that we wouldn't have kids until we had stable careers.
so, would it be a bad idea to get married after i graduate???
If you've married after high school, help me out please, and if you haven't, i'd still appreciate your imput. Thanks.

i forgot to mention that he's 22 years old. and he's already graduated from a university. We're really great friends now, and he's willing to wait for me until i turn 18.
i've had 3 boyfriends prior to this wonderful guy, if that helps any.

of course i'm planning on attending a university and he knows that.

Answer 1

I think u should wait until u've graduated from college. I mean, ru considering going 2 college or have a dream career in mind? If so, u should follow those dreams, and if ur boyfriend loves u, he'd be willing to respect ur decision. This doesn't mean that u still can't get married, but marriage changes things so much. If u get married and ur still going 2 college and also maybe working, will u have any time 2 spend w/ ur husband? Do u all have an economical system planned? A house? A job? A budget? U have 2 plan all of this out first. It seems like for me it'd be too much stress. I'd rather graduate from college and have a stable job first and THEN get married. But that's all up to you. I support u and I wish u many blessings! Make the choice that's right for u :)

Answer 2

Not to rain on your parade.... but thats a really bad Idea.

Are there other motives to the reason you want to get married so quickly?...

I'm just turning 18. In my senior year I got married. IN NOVEMBER. My husband.. or lack there of, is also 23. We were not ready to be married. AT ALL. Neither are you. What you dont realize is that you have not experienced as much as him, he has been able to do things that you yourself haven't been able to do. Do you honestly want to be held back from doing something you want to do? Or have to answer to someone all the time? Why you wont be able to go out? ALOT of things change once you get married. The way the other person looks at you is in a whole new light. I really think you should look it from a different point of view and see what might happen if you do get married. There is no Fine its over im leaving you.. its alot of money for a divorce that could end quite nasty. DOn't jump the gun experience life first. THEN make your decision. How long have you know this guy anyways.. and 3 boyfriends, hunny you've got a whole world to see. Don't be stupid and tied yourself down to someone that really don't know what he wants...other than a piece of ***.

Answer 3

I am probably not the best person to answer this due to my unhappy marriage, however I do believe that if you two are planning on getting married, then whats the hurry. You both have your whole lives ahead of you. Spend some time seeing the world together and alone or with friends. Marriage is forever and although its hard to make a decision to get married. It takes a really long time to get out of one, not to mention all the people who are involved. I beleive in getting married, however I dont understand why young people want to rush into it. People do and will change over a period of time. I feel that you need to spend years with that person dating, so that you can decide if you can put up with their quirks (and yes everyone has them) bad habits, their fears, hopes and dreams. Just give it some time. Live a little, go onto college and get a indepth education. Dont be satisfied with anything less that what YOU WANT OUT OF LIFE. Marriage I think could be great with the right person... but can be absolutely a nightmare with the wrong one. Take time to find out if he is THE ONE for you. Good luck.

Answer 4

While it's not for everyone, I wouldn't say it's the worse idea in the world. At least you are waiting until you graduate high school. If you are really serious about waiting for a family be sure to take extra precautions. Understand that it will be a strained marriage for a while and ask yourself if you are ready for commitment. Too many people enter into marriage thinking that if it doesn't work out then you can just get divorced. While this is true, it is not what God intended. The best way to have a strong marriage is to keep God number one in everything you do. God bless you.

Answer 5

If he is the right guy then waiting a few more years wont hurt anything. You have so much life to experience and college to attend. Maybe get engaged and set a date for 3 to 4 years down the road. But at least wait until you both have stable jobs, a decent income, and someplace to live. I married at 17 the first time and it was the biggest mistake I ever could have made! Enjoy life a little first wait until your at least 21! Have fun!

Answer 6

I married at 19, we've been married for 1 1/2 years now, happily. He is now 24 and I am 20. We have been together for 4 years. Age should not be a deciding factor in whether or not you get married. Compatibility is the key. If you have been through one huge argument together and have handled it well, if you are happy together and you love each other... go for it. You could also go to a marriage counselor first to ensure that you have answered all of the major questions and know each other well enough to know that you can make it the rest of your lives together. Just make sure that it is not a rushed decision.

Answer 7

Yes, I got married the summer I graduated high school. I had 3 wonderful kids. Then something happened. We both grew up. Decided we weren't the same people who we married. I am now divorced, have custody of the kids, a single mom. When you first talk about it, it seems so wonderful, almost like a fairytale. Take it slow, get a few years of college over with first, and if he's still crazy about you, marry him. I really admire you for asking this question before you go thru with it.

Answer 8

Yes its a very bad idea. If you get married right after high school when do you get to have YOUR life? To be YOU? Forever (which is what you promise when you get married) is a very, very long way from 18. Yes I did get married very young, and thats how I felt, he was my best friend and I loved him very much but forever was just too far away. Take the life you have lived so far and double it, think of all the growing you have done, all the learning, and all the changing. Do you think you know now where you want to be in 10 years? Who you will be? If not how can you know who you want to be with? Marriage is hard work, it DOESN'T ever stay the same as when you are dating and all the time you spend with that person is wonderful, its NOT one long continuous date. Yes he went to a university, when do you get to go? What happens if you don't go, don't end up with a great career, end up with kids and things DO fall apart? You end up struggling your whole life, while he just picks up where he left off before he married you. You can't imagine how hard it is. And you can't imagine how awful it is to be 50 and wonder where your life went and regret the person you didn't have the chance to become. Here are some other things to think about too.

Consider marriage when you have been together long enough to be out of the infatuation stage. When you have discussed ALL the issues involved in life after the wedding like finances, division of household labor, children, in laws, where to live, jobs, time away with friends, and a million other things you haven't thought of. After all of that you consider each part of the vows, and what you consider is the difficult side of them, anybody can be happy when things are going well so,

richer or poorer....still want to be with them in a shack with crackers ala peanut butter for dinner...for the fourth night in a row?

sickness and health...they develop a chronic physical or mental illness and can't get around and can't work, still want to be there?

better or worse...they are in a car accident and you have to spend the rest of your life feeding them and changing their diapers, still want to be married?

keep yourself only to him or her, can you REALLY only have sex with only that person until you die?

THIS is what marriage is, not a fairy tale where everything goes well everyday, the one guarantee you have is that things WILL go wrong. Remember, you answer all these questions after you have passed infatuation, after you know what their bad points are (yes they have some and so do you) and still consider it anyway.

If you think you are up for all of this then maybe you should think about it. Don't forget to consider whether they would stick by you if it was you in any or all of the above scenarios. Check out the question posted here by married people and keep in mind that all of them thought this was the thing to do and the ONE for them when they got married too! There is a book called Lies At The Altar by Dr. Robin Smith, it helps you answer all this and go in to a marriage with your eyes wide open, if you aren't willing to consider all that then what you really want is a pretty ring and a nice party and lots of attention, have them but don't make that a basis for a LIFE. Good luck!

Answer 9

If he can wait then he can wait....this will actually show you how much this guy really loves you. your so young and need to experience life....you have no idea what will happen to you in your 20's, but it is great. I'm 31...tell him you care about him and just date him through college. I would say if you want to marry him then perhaps get engaged your senior year of high school. He is mature yet and he's only 22.....he may find someone else. I would wait another three years before planning anything it will give you a chnce to know where he is for sure and for you to live your life as well. Trust me on this one!!!! you do't need to rush and patience can show you ALOT.

Answer 10

I don't think its a bad idea necesarily but it might be a bit young.

Thing is, you do change a lot in your 20s. I got married at 22 and left him 10 years later for a younger guy!

Me and the younger guy are still together two and half years on, are engaged and expecting a baby!!!

Me and my husband just grew apart, he was really "old" for his age while I still felt very young. I got to a point when I wanted children but he just wanted to wait. And I felt we were pulling in different directions.

I regretted getting married young when I met other girls of my age who were still free to go out and date who they wanted, go to college, etc while I was an "old married woman". It was hard going out with single girlfriends and meeting cute guys and not being able to do anything about it!

I'm not the same person now at 34 as I was at 22.

You may find this happens to you. Or you may not. Some people marry young and stay together for many many happy years. And it sounds like you have things figured out as far as careers, kids etc. Its a decision you have to make yourself.