I am 24 and I met a guy at work who is 38. We got to chatting and got on really well. He is married but we just seemed to click. He returned to his office and we have kept in touch by email. Nothing physical has happened between us but I have fallen for him big style. he has told me that he wants me and that he is going to leave his wife for me. Thier relationship has not been right for a long time. I worry as I may not trust him etc. But the fact that he is leaving her before starting anything with me gives me more hope. I just dont know what to do. He says that he is still going to leave her even if we dont get together and that it has taken meeting me for him to realise that he doesnt love her. Any advise would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
2006-08-20 07:57:15 · 9 answers · asked by Rachel C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Okay lets be realistic here. You cant move forward or think about moving forward until he has taken some action. He needs to get his life together, even after he gets divoerced he'll need to prioritize things. There is nothing saying this wont work, you can give it a fighting chance. But he has to start taking steps first. Dont get involved until then, cuz no matter what he says if u start dating before he's divorced you will become a cruch. That is the last thing you need. Let him go throught this by himself then be there when its done. GOOD LUCK!
2006-08-20 14:27:04 · answer #1 · answered by nikki nicole 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay away from him.
If after his divorce is final and he has gone through a period of healing of a year or two + you are still interested, that's another story.
This is probably his Middle Age Crisis. He is just enjoying flirting with a young girl. It gives him hope that Perhaps he still has it. You are probably enjoying that an older man finds you interesting.
Why did he not get along with his wife. I bet there is His Version and Her Version.
I know that you don't want to be a home wrecker. During the waiting period before a divorce, the separation stage, the married couple are supposed to take time to consider if they truly want to dismantle their marriage. If you are in the picture, you might prevent their reconciliation.
Also if They get divorced and you end up marrying this older man, You will also be marring his alimony payments, His children if he has any, and all of the baggage that goes along with a blended family. Can you imagine you are working and He has to give half of his money to his first mistake. You would not be able to afford to stay home with your children if you want to because of the financial strain.
Why at 24 years of age would you marry someone who is so old and with all of that past baggage and responsibility. Your First marriage and His second or third?
Children who you have no say in because they are not yours and he has to share his time and money with. Will you someday have your own? He will still have his other family.
Well you said date and not get married to but if you are dating someone and he is leaving his wife for you, that sounds too serious for a guy you met at work.
Cut it off now. Let him know that you are not interested. He can stay with his wife or not stay with his wife. That it is not your concern and that you wish him the best.
You can make such a mess at work if you prolong this any longer that one of your or both will have to leave and find other employment.
Turn your emotions in the opposite direction and don't emotionally look back. Otherwise you are setting yourself up for bigger problems than you can imagine.
God Bless You, RUN!
2006-08-20 16:08:14 · answer #2 · answered by Deena 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you really should try to find out why he wants to leave his wife. As for what everyone else is saying on here that he will cheat on u too, well that could happen but it might not. Everyone is different. I cheated on my ex-husband but I was unhappily married for the last 3 years of our marriage and only stayed with him for the kids. And now I am still with the man that I cheated with and have been for over 2 years now and Im not going to cheat on him.. Just be careful so you don't get hurt and also the age difference there might not be to good. Age used to never matter but there was 12 years difference between my ex and I and when we started all was well but then I realized we didn't really have as much in common as we thought.. Good luck!!
2006-08-20 15:38:55 · answer #3 · answered by onefinedayitwillb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He, who will cheat with you, will cheat on you. Even if his relationship with his current wife is on bad terms and on the verge of ending, talking to someone else with romantic intentions, like you is still very wrong. He should have already concluded his business with his current wife before even thinking about talking to anyone else. You should not be talking to him with any kind of romantic interest until he has concluded his business with his wife.
The fact you are asking, and seemingly struggling with this tells me you know this already, and perhaps just need confirmation. You know right from wrong, just be careful. Don't do anything you will regret later and can not live with down the road.
2006-08-20 15:12:18 · answer #4 · answered by bowtierodz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dating someone that is married...no good...so i think the best for you ...and actually for everybody involved is waiting for him to be available...although you have to be careful..guys that don't commit to someone in the marriage level...they won't ever commit to anybody...so if you are thinking in a long term relationship...give it a huge thought!...it may not be what he has in mind. You are young!...don't stress about him too much..he may think he has you in his hands already!...and you may get hurt from this relationship.
If i were you...really...i would try to forget the guy by hanging out with friends...and meeting new people :)
Take care and good luck
2006-08-20 15:11:06 · answer #5 · answered by There! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wait see if he leaves her first. I doubt it very much. Even if he does aren't you afraid he will do the same to you.
2006-08-20 15:05:47 · answer #6 · answered by shirls4 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, I would stay away from him. He's involved with someone else whether he loves her or not.
2006-08-20 15:07:20 · answer #7 · answered by Patience 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's married. Move on. Forget about it.
2006-08-20 15:08:21 · answer #8 · answered by Alex 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he cheats on his wife, he will probably do the same to you.
2006-08-20 15:05:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋