Black chick asks me (white guy) out in my extremely racists community. I like her: what should i do?

Question

I live in South Mississippi, which means I'd pretty much get shunned from the family if I went out with her. What should I do?

Oh and like my whole friggin family is racists

All very generic answers. What if everyone you knew talked about you behind your back because of something like that. That's how bad it is down here.

Oh, and I'm nowhere near old enough to move

Answer 1

Do her but keep it hidden.

Answer 2

Congratulations on getting past the bigotry you were raised with! Good for you. You sound too young to drive too, or I'd suggest trying to meet her in another city that was not too far away. It is terrible to sneak around, so maybe that is not the best answer either.
If this girl asked you out maybe she has some suggestions on where you can meet in your city where it won't be a problem. I live in one of the most segregated cities in North America, Chicago. Oh people pretend not to be prejudiced, but they are. There are still places here where I dare not go and where people other than my race dare not venture either. Why less than 20 years ago a black boy was beaten nearly to death and suffers permanant injury for walking in a neighborhood just across the expressway from his own. It was Bridgeport. The MAYOR'S neighborhood. Just told you that so you'll know it happens everywhere and you are not alone.
Yet there are mixed communities in Chicago where everyone lives and lets live and I choose to live there. I like a good mix of people. Maybe your friend knows of such a place where you live.
Then again, if it is just expermentation for you and you are not genuinely interested in getting to know this person, you called her a black chick after all, you probably should take a pass. Still, you say you like her, so maybe you can meet her in places where it would not be unusual to been seen together: library;studying for a project for instance.
Bigotry will never be defeated unless we have the courage to stand up to our convictions when we know other people are wrong. Just be careful that neither of you gets hurt physically.
Good luck.

Answer 3

most of the answers you received already are from people living in other areas than the deep south. so they truly don't understand what your up against, let alone what you'll have to deal with if you do decide to date her. both your lives will be at stake as you well know. if you two date, your both in deep sh!t, even if you go to another town, it'll be the same. first, i would try meeting her somewhere way out in the boonies where you absolutely cannot be seen. spend the day getting to know her. if theres a spark, and you want to pursue it, you pretty much will have to move away, either to a northern state or either coast. will still be tough but at least you won't be lynched. or you can plan a vacation or long weekend together at a northern or coastal city where no one cares what you do. then if you want to go further, you'll have an idea where you can go. i like woman of color too and had to do the same thing. but be prepared if you make your move cos you won't be able to go back! EVER! remember one thing above all else; "you're family will f@ck you faster than anyone else will." good luck! p.s. if you get caught, possibly the only way to save your lives is to play out the "white master doing black slave girl/whore" type situation. be sure she's on the same wavelength before you act this out. it could save both your lives.

Answer 4

I honestly don't know what to tell you. You like her, but you love your family. It's also hard to get shunned by your friends. And it is uncertain whether or not going out with her will amount to anything that will last. So, it would be hard to sacrifice all of that for the unknown. It is an extremely difficult decision. What you have to do is ask yourself which one is more important to you. Is it stepping out of the norm and following your heart or living the way you're told out of fear of societal rejection. But remember, no matter what you do in this world, you can't please everyone.

Answer 5

well it must be really hard on you. What i think is take her out on a date really soon, but don't go to places lyk restaurants, movies etc since you say u have an extremely racist community cause there'll obviously be lots of people there.
Take her out into the open air on a picnic or something lyk that, where you won't find loads of pple. Have ur fun then sit her down (kindly, not too seriouly) and tell her about how u feel about her and everything else, i'm sure u will work something out together. Take it 4rm there and i'm sure pple will gradually learn to accept u for who u are.

Good Luck, hope it works out!!

Answer 6

If you care what people think of who you are dating, you will always be alone.

I know its hard, but if you think you can't handle the pressure or her, then don't do it. Otherwise go out on a date, go somewhere well you both can feel comfortable and for god's sake, don't look around the room to see who is looking at you. If you are that self-conscious, don't go. And when you get older (I don't know how old you are), move out of that community where you can be more free on who you date. For pete's sake this is the 21st century, move away from that out-dated, backwards community.

Answer 7

You need to do what makes you happy reguardless of the community.If they have an issue then that is your problem not theirs,you like her id say go out with her.Nothing wrong with it,if you like her and she likes you then you need to do what makes you satisfied.Someone once said "You cant make everyone happy BUT you can make yourself happy".I live by that,My family doesnt agree with the decisions i make,they give me a hard time about alot of the decisions i make,but i have learned that they arent always going to agree or support every single decision i make for myself.If i make myself happy then i am doing what is best for me.If they dont support you being happy,they wanted you to be WHAT THEY wanted you to be.I have that issue in my home too,i live no where near you but it happens.It happens everyday all over the world.If they conform to their community instead of accepting their son and his wishes then that isnt your fault,its theirs.Do what makes you happy.Go out with her and have a wonderful fantastic time.

Answer 8

Been there done that, Was a very long bus trip.... I felt completely out of place and found out later she was doing a "marriage" dance with me on the bus... If you know alot about her culture and feel comfortable with your knowledge,,, Gl, otherwise be3 prepared to get married.. or shunned.. if you choose to go , be careful though as most people will not easily accept you. I'm sure she will understand if you choose nit to venture into such an neighbor-hood

Answer 9

Lets say that you get married to a dark-skinned person. Your family aren't going to be the ones who are going to be living with your woman. It's your life. You should not let your family choose for you.
Ask someone in your family why they hate dark-skinned people so much. They are either going to not know what to say, or they are going to come up with mindless, irrational answers like maybe: "black people are criminals." That is only a stereotype. There are good and bad people of every race.

Answer 10

i imagine lot of the time when we see this variety of vast quantity of black adult adult males with white females that is form of a trophy style complicated or something. It became once forbidden for blended couples to be at the same time and the adult adult males being adult adult males had to have the white females. i imagine some how this wondering stuck in the minds of fellows, and women persons and women by no skill fairly were given into it, so as it truly is why you spot more desirable blk adult adult males/ whte females My brother is white and my sister in regulation is blk, i imagine if a white guy asks out a blk females he quite likes her and it isn't a trophy aspect. do not get me incorrect some blk adult adult males are fairly into white females because of who they are not and by no skill basically the colour, I basically imagine it truly is the way it were given all started.

Answer 11

I think the first thing you do before anything happens is sit yourself down and consider the future for the two of you. Can you do this if you get to serious, can you handle it. Are your family that against it. Im from way up North. We don't have those problems here.