Attn: Straight People: When you say "I don't care if you're gay just as long as you don't throw it in my face"

Question

What do you mean by this? I mean, I've never had sex with a guy on the sidewalk for a bunch of straight people to gawk at? I don't even really talk about my sex life except with my best friends. I'm really perplexed here....

So what do you mean that you're okay with me being gay just as long as I don't "shove it in your face"? Does that mean that I can't tell you I'm gay? That I can't hold my boyfriend's hand in public? That I can't root for the one or two gay characters that have ever made it onto network television?

I'll be happy to respect your wishes, but at the same time, I think it would be only fair for you to stick by the same rules.. Wouldn't you agree? We all wanna have a level playing field, don't we? So shouldn't that mean, that from now on, you can't hold your husband's/wife's hand in public, that you can't talk about how great your spouse and kids are at work? I mean, isn't that basically throwing it in my face? I'll keep my humanity in the bedroom if you will.

Thanks for your answer God, you just proved my little experiment. Nice avatar name by the way, kinda puts the whole thing into perspective, don't it?

I would suggest that whoever is reading this question right now, that you take a moment and read every single answer that has been posted on here. Most of them have proved my point, some ridiculously so..

Answer 1

this gay thing is generally not accepted by the society
cheers

Answer 2

Most likely,what they mean is based on their fear of the unknown
Throw it in our faces...hmmm..
If you hold your guys hand or show affection in public , I would say,,,hey ,there is a happy couple.But the majority of people isn't as tolerant.
If you would come on to me I would politely thank you and tell you that I am not into same sex relations.If you still would come on to me I would now need to use more drastic measures to get the point across.
I have never been proposed by a gay man nor do I think I ever will....I know some gay people , male and female alike and they treat all around them with respect as we should treat them with respect.
Unfortunately there will always be some "ignorants" out there that make life harder on everybody,no matter what or who they are.

Answer 3

You ask a very valid question

I am straight and I believe that straight people who say this are still really very UNCOMFORTABLE with gay people. It would be like saying "i dont mind black people, as long as they dont act black around me"

You are what you are. If you are gay, you should be able to hold hands, kiss, touch, play and yes maybe even do a little PDA make out session if you want. IT is YOUR life YOUR body and you do not have to apologize, justify or adjust because some homo-phobe wants to create rules for you.

I don't think you should have to "respect" anyone's wishes. Why change who you are to please others?

Dance like you have never danced before and kiss like that would be the last kiss you will ever have.

And the next time you see those straight couples who have told you "as long as you dont throw it in my face" kissing or holding hands in public, tape them on the shoulder and say "Im sorry but you are totally throwing your heterosexuality in my face and I am offended". See how they like LIKE THAT!

Answer 4

It is soft bigotry by people who really want to say "I don't like gay people" but are not brave enough too.

Straight people who say "I don't feel the need to shout about my heterosexuality to the world" have never been persecuted, ridiculed, imprisonned or killed for just being who they are.

It is not a lifestyle, as that implies it is a choice, like what kind of car you drive.

I personally dont like gay pride parades, but I see why at this point in time some gay people feel the need to show that even after all the centuries of repression that they are not going away.

There is still prejudice, bigotry and hatered in this world. Everyone, gay and str8 should be proud of what they are. If you don't like gay people don't dress it up just say it and then we all know where you stand. The fact that you dress it up shows that you are ashamed of your views.

Answer 5

I believe when people say "Don't shove it in my face," they are speaking of such things as: Gay Pride marches. I'm a flaming heterosexual and I don't feel compelled to march in a parade to prove it. Gay Pride days. What are you so proud of? I'm heterosexual as noted before. I'm neither proud nor ashamed, it's simply who I am. I noticed a car in the local supermarket the other day that had a couple of the rainbow symbol stickers in the windows that seem to now be associated with the gay lifestyle. The car also sported a vanity plate that read "BOYZ" Is this really needed? I don't put bumper stickers on my car or flags and windsocks on my home proclaiming my sexual orientation. I don't feel a need to. I truly believe this to be a source of contention when dealing with this sensitive issue. Fine, if you want to hold hands with your partner, more power to you. I don't mind. If you wish to speak of your partner at work, great! You have every right to do so. What I personally feel irritated by is the "advertising" of a gay lifestyle. All that said, best wishes to you and yours and keep on keepin on.

Answer 6

Well I can tell you haven't been to Disney when they had their week there. So your parents didn't have to explain why 2 men were humping in the pool at one of the resorts? Or why they were being so sexually suggestive with each other. I mean for god sakes its a CHILDREN'S place not some gay bar. There is showing affection then there is just taking it too far I don't care if you talk about your partner the same way I talk about my husband. But honestly what is the point with your gay pride parades besides to be in everyone's face? Where is the Straight Pride Parade ?

Answer 7

What I have told gay friends is that you know your sexual orientation is yours. I don't try to change yours don't try to change mine. I've had one gay friend who always made comments to me about if I ever had a woman I'd never want a man again, and repeated sexual innuendo's. She was a great friend other than that. I wasn't trying to make her straight I just wanted the same courtesy. I don't like public displays of affection....straight or gay...holding hands yeah that's fine, but cramming your tongue down somebodies throat just for other people to see is uncalled for. I take that as throwing it "in your face" but that's for anyone, not just gay/straight.
Hope it helps. Good Luck :)

Answer 8

If I walk outside today, and I see a couple holding hands, then, there's no reason I can't hold my partner's hand. If I see a couple at the mall kiss one another before they go their separate ways, I can kiss my partner.

I am NOT a second class citizen, and I'll not be marginalized because somebody, somewhere, said that it's wrong to be gay, or it's wrong for me to love my partner. Maybe their judgments are wrong.

If I'm not forced to oberseve displays of breeder-affection, I won't force them to observe displays of queer-affection. Until then, I'm going to love my partner, no matter where I am.

And -- to whoever said, "Just don't make a big issues of it. . . " It IS a big issue -- let me beat you for loving a woman, let me rip away her health insurance, let her end up in the hospital, and have me deny you visitation.

Answer 9

"I don't care if you're gay just as long as you don't throw it in my face" this to me was probably said to you by a homophobic person possibly a guy. I myself will talk about my sex life with my closest of friends and family not some person I hardly know. I think that should bee the rule. Maybe this person that said this to you was scared of the "gay thing" and didn't want you to hit on him.

Answer 10

Here's the gist. When they say they don't have a problem with it and then they say to keep it away from me that means they have a problem with it. It's simple they don't want to be seen as homophobes so they pretend to accept it but in their hearts they know the truth. If they see you making out with the same sex, or dressing flamboyant, or speaking with a lisp they will cringe with fear and hate.

Get rid of those friends. There's plenty of straight people out there, myself included, that accept people for who they are. Good luck.

Answer 11

As a blunt-headed, unenlightened, uncreative fashion-challenged heterosexual I feel qualified to address this question due to my past friendships with many gay guys. The "shoving it in your face" that I observed was not about being gay, but more about sex (of any type) being the focus of discussion or action in public. As a GENERAL rule, heterosexuals don't seem to be as pre-occupied with casually relating graphic details of their' activity as do gays. (Remember - I said general - that's my disclaimer.) In many ways, it reminds me of the "Reaction Formation" (the lady doth protest too much) we discussed in psychology class. Just my thoughts.