he was talking to a girl about an hour from where we live and was going to meet her for a date but he didnt go. shoul i stay with him or not . i recently moved in with him and quit my job because he didnt want me working so i have no money to get a place of my own if i do leave and moving in with my parents is not an option i got a applicatin for housing and he took it away and tore it up he doesnt even want me to leave the house unless hes with me what should i do please help im so upset im sick
2006-08-20 07:15:05 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he just left for work and took my car keys and the phone wires what do i do
2006-08-20 07:33:01 · update #1
Strawberry, I would advise you to think long and hard about marrying a guy like this. He is controlling and will cheat on you. If he is still talking to women on Msn then he will never be happy with just one woman. Your life will be miserable. You need to move out and find someone to stay with until you find a place to live. He is one of these guys that it will always be his way and no matter what you will not have a say. Please listen to the people on here because soon it will turn to be a abusive relationship. You can make it on your own.
2006-08-20 07:31:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well He Obviously is Very Taking Advantage of You And You Let Him Do It. Honey If He's Cheating On You Then You Should Obviously Leave Him And If Hes The Violent Type..Well Get A Restraining Order Against Him...And One More Thing..Never Depend On A Man..What Im Saying is..Because He Tells You To Quit Your Job..Your basically Living On Him..You Cant Do Anything..Go Anywhere..He Basically Has You Trapped...Leave Him..The Break-Up Might Seem Hard As First But Just Realize All The Pain He Is Causing You And You'll Realize The Break-Up Was Worth It..
2006-08-20 07:45:16 · answer #2 · answered by - Alexis. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you did not say rather there are or are not children involved. regardless you need to go.
You are in the throngs of emotional abuse and it is only a step away from being physical in nature. he may be exposing you to life threatening STDS as well.
Shelters now are very assistive in helping you find housing and employment.
Do not confront this man. Just know that you know and plan on going. Be cool about it. Stash whatever income you get away. If he does not want you to work then stash his income away. the next time you use the car have an extra key made. Have an extra key made to the apartment also. This is serious now. Go to Dr. phil's web site and see how serious.
Good Luck.
2006-08-20 09:07:00 · answer #3 · answered by Makingwishes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well welcome to eternity in HELL. This guy is a possive asshole with serious control issues. Your best bet is to use the gift God gave you--your 2 feet and walk your *** out of there before this becomes violent. These kind of loosers are extremely abusive and you could find yourself on the receiving end of one of his possesive tantroms. So unless you like black and blue eyes and wearing sunglasses when ever you 2 go out --you better get out!. Contact a local shelter, catholic charities or some other organization for battered women ( you don't need to be hit to be abused you can be abused psychologically as well and that is what he is doing now ). You are enabling him to do this to you as long as you stay. Try the girls or womens club they often offer shelter based on income. You may not have a job now but you can always find one if you want to work and get back on your feet again and this time don't rush in. Any guy that insists you stay home if it isn't a mutual agreement between the 2 of you then don't get involved. Now is the best time to get out before there are kids involved and the situation gets a whole lot uglier. RUN GIRL RUN FOR YOUR LIFE.
2006-08-20 08:42:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope there are no children involved.
Marriage should be based on trust, not on control. If you truly can not leave without him. Get out! Once you get married things can only get worse. You don't have to have a house or place to live to get out. There are several ways to leave.
1. Go take a shower, turn the shower on escape thru the window.
2. Wait until he is asleep, walk out the front door.
3. Make a "female" doctor appointment, have him take you.
when it is time for your exam, ask the Doctor or nurse to call the police.
4. Go to dinner, go to the restaurant, excuse yourself, walk out the back or front door.
GO TO THE CLOSEST POLICE FIRE STATION, CHURCH HAVE THEM TAKE YOU TO A SHELTER, DO NOT LET ANYONE KNOW WHERE YOU ARE, THEY CAN HELP YOU FIND A JOB (TAKE IT) THEN THEY CAN HELP YOU FIND A PLACE TO LIVE.
Do not continue any relationship with anyone that will not permit you to stand on your own. I do not mean that being a housewife is wrong. I do not mean that having a spouse $$ support you is wrong. WHAT IS WRONG IS CONTROL. Marriage is about respect, love and commitment.
2006-08-20 07:42:48 · answer #5 · answered by jakomes 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh you need to leave this jerk for sure...forget the email to the other girl. He is controling you and you don't need that, its probably good that he interested in someone else because he won't be as angry if you leave. Please leave this guy, I don't know how old you are but this is not a healthy relationship and you need to get out. You deserve to be treated with respect, and their are many men out there who will treat you with the respect you deserve....tell your parents what is going on immeadilty. You may be able to get arestrainning order on this guy. NO matter what call your parents and tell them your leaving...pack your thigns while he's gone. So what he took your car keys, and phone....go to a neighbor and explain your situation. You have two arms and two legs you can walk away from this guy if you want......
2006-08-20 08:39:03 · answer #6 · answered by dlmvm0612 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's no where near ready to settle down. You need to get out of this arraignment ASAP. If you have already moved in with him and he's making plans (doesn't matter whether he met with her or not) to meet anyone else but your not allowed to even work, that is just plain wrong. I'm a firm believer in the right of privacy in a relationship but along with that right there has to be trust and when HE left his messenger up for all the world to see it is a clear indication that you were meant to see it, whether consciously or sub-consciously. He knows right from wrong and what he is doing is wrong, what he's trying to do to you is control, it's up to you to stop it now before your no more than a free slave to him.
2006-08-20 07:30:03 · answer #7 · answered by sassywv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out now. Walk to the nearest phone, neighbor or gas station. Call a friend or family member to pick you up. When you go back to get your stuff, DO NOT go alone. He is too controlling and it's going to get worse, especially after you're married. I went thru a similar situation about 10 months ago. He will make it all sound like it's your fault. DO NOT listen to him. He is the bad guy here. Not you.
2006-08-20 07:39:21 · answer #8 · answered by xmom 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You definately don't want to marry a guy with control issues and it sounds like he's got them BAD. Look for info on spousal abuse (I know, he hasn't done anything yet, but they can help you find a place to stay until you get back on you feet). Honestly, this guy does not have you best interest in mind. You need to ditch him.
Hope this helps. And be brave, don't let some dude bully you around, if he really loved you, he wouldn't be doing this sort of thing.
2006-08-20 07:25:27 · answer #9 · answered by hawt2trawt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's trying to control every aspect of your life, and after a while it'll be hard for you to do anything without his approval. This is not a good base for a healthy relationship. Tell him u need some time to think, get a job, and make a good decision. you deserve more than being tied down at home, while he contemplates on meeting someone or not.
2006-08-20 07:24:19 · answer #10 · answered by newyorker 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋