questions for married people?

Question

if husband wants sex but wife strongly says no and he forced himself upon the wife. but while husband did the deed at one point wife feels some kind of weird pleasure but disgusted about it at the same time. (they dont have a normal marriage - please see my Q & A ) can it be considered raped? help plz

The story of my marriage is long story. I know its not clear in my Q & A section. IM me at mistakes_29 for anyone who needs to talk...

Answer 1

it could be considered rape but if you have seperate lives how did you both get in the situation where your clothes were off? As previously stated sounds like your husband has feelings for you and you both need to talk about what is going on in your relationship good luck

Answer 2

Every time a woman says clearly NOT, and she is forced in any way to have sex, it is rape.
It does not matter if this happens during marriage, outside in the street, in war.
A woman saying NOT means clearly that the man must abstain.
Thanks God certain laws changed regarding marriage, we are not so much a slave of the man as we were in the past, yet not completely free.
Consider the behavior of your husband as abuse, and report it. No matter if you are considering to file a divorce now or ever. Just keep the door open with something on your side. Besides, is your right to decide whether you want or not to have sex.
I believe that a man that reaches that point before had ignored many other wishes that the wife had, her opinions, what she thinks or wants.
Is that the way you want to live?
We are in 2006. Save money little by little, still him, get as much as you can to give yourself some better future. Try to assure a little bit your way out, and one day you will have enough from his mistreatment and then you will also be able to get the hell out. Get a consultancy with the police department and make a good statement about your situation. With psychological help you will feel stronger, and able to get out of your situation.
Then you will be able to choose if you still want to stay with your husband or not.
Protect yourself and your kids if you have them.
I truly wish you the best. If between women we were not able to help and support each other, this would be a very sad world for us.
Send me a message if you wish.
Fro

Answer 3

Its only rape if you say no to sex, my wife & I have an agreement,
if I just want to get my rocks off then she would rather it be with her than some one else's wife or any other woman. If my wife demands it she knows she has to do the work to feel satisfied for her own self & so she could have raped me! If you feel violated by your husbands choice, to just take what god has said to women give your dues to your husband (but that can open a can of worms) then yes you have been raped, if you felt quietly pleasured even for a moment then you conscented & it is not rape.

Answer 4

Well, one comparison that comes to my mind is that sexual abused children often feel tons of guilt and complicity in their own abuse because PART of them found the stimulation pleasant, even while they did NOT want to have the experience.

This is why sex becomes ruined for them -- what was supposed to be a beautiful thing in life now feels awful, even when it physically feels good. Intimate pleasure leaves them feeling guilty.

Same deal here, I think -- do not let the fact that you (I assume) felt some pleasure from the sexual act with your husband confuse you over what happened here: You said NO, and he forced himself on you. Regardless of whether part of you liked it, that's a destructive pattern of behavior to everyone involved.

(Morally, it's rape -- legally, though, it would harder to prove.)

Your situation doesn't sound so hot. The confusion in the marriage, with you both being officially married but steadily dating and living with others, only creates an environment in where things like this can repeat themselves.

The best situation, as far as I can tell? Either make your legal husband your actual partner, or (if that is impossible) end this pseudo-marriage and form a stable relationship with a man who is actually committed to you and respects you.

Answer 5

It doesnt matter if a couple are married if one party forces themself on the other when they have clearly said "No", then it is rape. It doesnt matter whether you think she enjoyed it or not....that is only your interpretation.

Why are you with this woman when it is clear she is not interested in your feelings. You shouldnt have to rape anyone...it should be a mutal thing. Making love between 2 people who love each other is the greatest pleasure in the world. Sex isnt just intercourse, it is everything, it is looking into your partners eyes and seeing the love there. If you want to stay married to this woman, then you have to respect her wishes, whether you agree with it or not. If you only want sexual pleasure, and you want to stay with her, then masturbate. Have you tried talking to her about this problem? If you have tried everything, and it is clear she does not want any kind of intimacy, then I think you need to re-evaluate your priorities, and choose where you want your life to be. Your wife has chosen no sex with you. You can either accept it, or else leave her and find what you are looking for. It is against the law to rape a person period. You do not have any rights to force yourself on anyone......married or not.

Answer 6

What is your definition of rape?

Here are some reactions:

"The husband cannot be guilty of a rape committed by himself upon his lawful wife, for by their mutual matrimonial consent and contract,the wife hath given up herself in this kind unto her husband, which she cannot retract."

Sir Matthew Hale, Chief Justice, mid-17th century, England

"Damn it, when you get married, you kind of expect you're going to get a little sex."

Senator Jeremiah Denton, Republican, Alabama, 1981

"But if you can't rape your wife, who can you rape?"

Senator Bob Wilson, Democrat, California, 1979

See the issue is like this. the wife says strongly 'No" The husband wants a strongly "Yes". What is the solution? There are 2 logical alternatives:

1) Husband can be restrained and he should try to understand why his wife denies him. When the sexual urge is strong he should masturbate and then sit down and discuss.

2) The wife should satisfy her husband's desire. If she cannot do it herself then she has to arrange an alternative. She cannot deny his lawful and moral right of sex in marriage unless she is physically challenged or badly ill. She cannot simply say " I am not in the mood". She should be as considerate as she expects her husband to be towards her.

Answer 7

Most states have laws which make it nearly impossible for rape to hold up between a wife and husband living as married.

The military law at one time said a man could not be accused of raping his wife.

I like things a little rough, maybe the reason she finds weird pleasure in it is , that this is what actually "does it for her". Don't know but ?

Answer 8

Even if you have an unusual marriage (being married in name only, having a boyfriend, other circumstances you mentioned in your Q&A), if you made it clear that you did not want your husband's sexual advances and he forced himself upon you anyway it is still considered rape....

It is not unusual to have mixed emotions or even no emotion while it is occuring...people have different ways of dealing with sexual assault...

The fact that you are married does not entitle him to your body as he pleases...he has violated you and he has to know that it is wrong and you need counseling to work through the trauma...since it doesn't sound like a real marriage it sounds like individual counseling would most benefit you.....Good luck....

Answer 9

Whats wrong with you? You have a husband for 7 years b/c of an apartment? You cant be serious. I'm more concerned for the boyfriend who is with you. Does he know how deranged you are? And what the hell? If you enjoyed it at all I would say that you consented to it. Screaming no was just a naughty game to you, and made it feel bad and dirty, but you liked it! ps.. Are you a child or just very uneducated? you cant get an anullment after 7 years, you moron.

Answer 10

First, the lady should understand the terminologies, attempted rape, victim, rapist and raped.

In "Husband and Wife" relationship, terminology "rape" is totally unacceptable and impolite to the religious rules laid in marriage.

The sex compulsion between husband and wife is never said to be a rape.

The high sexual urge of the husband, makes him behave indecently due to his mind set.

Both of them are innocent convicts.

Because the lady didn't co-operate with herr husband for his right requirement at right time & at right place and he is for not giving respect to her sentiments.

How one becomes husband and wife unless they are married???

I don't understand the term "they don't have married a normal marriage",

So, are they legally married?

Bed friends of convenience will not be called "husband & wife"

I am going crazy!!!!!
My lord help me please!!!!