I have been married to my husband for almost 15 months and we are basically living as roommates. We sleep in separate rooms and rarely speak to one another. I blame him for starting the problem because back in June my husband began spending more time with his friends and never put any effort into doing anything with me. I had started a new job and I really didn't have any friends so I decided to make friends because I was tired of sitting at home waiting on him. I spoke with him numerous times about how I felt and nothing ever changed. Now I am to the point where I don't care anymore and now I spend most of my time avoiding him and spending all of my time with my friends. Now he understands how I feel but I am not sure if I want things to work out because this normally happens at least once every year. I guess my question is whether or not this is normal for a new marriage?
2006-08-20 07:03:01 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No... It is not normal!!!
I am curious about one thing...
If you have only been married for 15 months, how can it happen at least once every year???
Anyway, the relationship you are sharing is not normal for marriage.... As much as I don't like 'divorce' it is perhaps best that you end the relationship before things get worse, which they are most assuredly going to do. Hopefully, in a future relationship, you will appreciate how a marriage is really supposed to be.
Good luck!!!
2006-08-20 07:41:00 · answer #1 · answered by I_C_Y_U_R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you and your spouse took a vow you committed to each other, not to your friends or his friends. Both of you are acting foolish and very selfish, tit for tat has no room in a marriage. One of you has to be a bigger, better person and do what you promised to do in the first place. Blame your husband all you want but realize it takes two to tangle and make or break the deal. You have to decide what your value and belief systems are and if the promise you made to him and GOD are less important than your friends then you have been vindicated. Marriage is not easy, it takes work, compromise, patients, LOVE, and respect ,for self first, and then for spouse. You did not mention that either of you have even attempted any of these behaviors but rather an immature asinine attitude with lack luster zeal. YOU BOTH need a TIME OUT and think about it, maybe you would be better off without each other if this all the better you can treat each other, it will only get worse at the rate you both are going!
2006-08-20 14:21:27 · answer #2 · answered by want2flybye 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not normal for a new marriage. How sad to not have seen this before making a lifelong promise to each other. How about quit blaming each other and communicate, sleep in the same bed, etc. He can still have friends and so can you, but obviously you both need to work on your marriage too.
2006-08-20 14:58:57 · answer #3 · answered by bluez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This happened in my marriage, after about 5 years past, but my husbands choice of destruction was computer games. Never came to bed w/ me, never saw him anymore. Eventually I preferred to go to bed alone, and started to resent him. I left and seperated. Work on this now or it will never change. I think you have to do something drastic like leave for a while to get their attention. Thats what it took for my husband to open his eyes at all. But it was too late b/c I had already found a new man.
2006-08-20 14:55:12 · answer #4 · answered by foxxyy44u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should still be in your honeymoon. It is not normal at all to be living that way. It sounds like neither one of you are putting any effort into your marriage. How do you expect it to work? You can have tit for tat just becasue he does something you are going to get back at him or vice versa. You both need to grow up.
2006-08-20 14:12:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes this is normal, your husband has to realize he's not single anymore, and talk to him just put the sh*t on the table and if he tries to change then atleast you'll know that he wants this marriage and if he just disregards your feelings again then it's time to bounce.
2006-08-24 14:04:43 · answer #6 · answered by LaToya L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you never said if you love him or not.......If you dont,,,then get out now, the longer you go the harder it is to leave...If you love him give him a reason to stay home...Im sure you can think of something... lol...But if your marriage is like that now... what do you think it will be like after being married for 20 years...
2006-08-20 15:37:55 · answer #7 · answered by stang4459 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been married 16 yrs. we have ups and downs but we are best friends and prefer each others company to others. I couldn't imagine being married to someone who wasn't my best friend.
2006-08-20 14:10:11 · answer #8 · answered by Cyn R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not normal figure out what you should really do.
2006-08-20 14:10:15 · answer #9 · answered by Iron Rider 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
not normal-destined for divorce
2006-08-20 14:12:59 · answer #10 · answered by sinned 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋