How can we see eye to eye. We have seperate accounts right now ,but,he thinks that it does not display a team effort,like a marriage should. Money is all we ever argue about! I think we should pay our bills in full before acquiring new debt. Please consult!
2006-08-20 06:07:46 · 13 answers · asked by boxley4404 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Get rid of him.
2006-08-20 12:27:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure what you can do...I had this problem with my now ex-wife. She was obsessed with spending every last dime I made, to the point of not covering the basics. I lost everything and came damn close to living in a cardboard box in the middle of the road. After 3 years of being seperated I have finally cleared up over $20,000 in debt. Seperate accounts are good, but being married still can make you responsible for the others debts. I tried working it out and talking about it, demanding changes...nothing helped until we went our seperate ways. When I met her she was so responsible with money, better than me......and I still don't know what changed. Money is one of the number one arguements had by couples, but when it gets bad or out of hand, it gets ugly. Work with him on it, maybe get someone else to help you...seek a counsellor. I should have.
2006-08-20 18:14:46 · answer #2 · answered by fyrfytr1971 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in the same situation but until you could agree i would just keep separate accounts.Marriage is a team effort and that includes the finance. Maybe you could have a joint account to pay for stuff like rent and groceries where both put the same amount and a separate account for personal bills like credit cards and wants. Good luck to you.
2006-08-20 13:20:03 · answer #3 · answered by xadralix 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are correct- debt is something you should try to NEVER have. Some debt is sort of "necessary" (in order to get a house you need a mortgage, etc.), but credit card debt is TOTALLY unnecessary!
My advice to you is try to show your husband how bad debt can be. Find out your credit card rate and do some calculations with him to show him that you'll waste LOTS of money by only paying off the minimum.
There might even be websites that do the calculations for you (try looking at one of those "debt consolidation companies").
You should also let him know that credit card debt hurts his credit rating, which will hurt his chance of getting a loan in the future. It might hurt yours, too, if you combine accounts (I could be wrong about that, but it's something to look into).
2006-08-20 13:17:28 · answer #4 · answered by dpfw16 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Finances are the most argued about thing in marriages. You two are at opposite ends of the spectrum right now. Try to find a middle. For this, you may need a mediator or a financial advisor. Your husband may find it easier to accept your view if he hears from others as well. It might be worth putting out a little money for this if it can bring you to a common ground. Good luck with it...I'm thinkin' you'll get it worked out.
BTW: I agree with you but being "right" is not always the point when you're married.
2006-08-20 13:17:15 · answer #5 · answered by Jazmanana 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what they say about opposites attracting!
You really need to sit down & discuss this calmly. Maybe what you need to do is have a 'yours, mine & our' accounts. Then you both can spend your own money how you want. The 'our"'account willl be a joint effort & must be agreed upon by both of you, how the money is spent.
Realize too, that his debts are yours. You are wise to and blessed to be able to pay your credit cards monthly. It builds credit without incurring all those 'extra' charges.
Try to make hubby see that by doing it his way, you are paying FAR more for the origional purchase price.
2006-08-20 13:19:03 · answer #6 · answered by weddrev 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Spenders will be benders ! Got what i mean ? Sooner or later the Bank will bend him & screw him in the B*tt & it will painfull for him, but he will learn from it!
Ur ding good..keep that card law as much as u can. Try not to have any contracts with him or the credit companies will drag u down with him & bend u too !
2006-08-20 13:34:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You married the wrong mate. Your suppose to have compatability with the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with. Then again maybe you two are a good balance. Maybe you want to save to much... Ever thought of it that way. Ever though about enjoying it while you got it? You could be six feet under tomorrow.
2006-08-20 13:20:53 · answer #8 · answered by johncharlesrealty 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There's a difference between a team effort and being financially independant. Just tell him that.
2006-08-20 13:14:05 · answer #9 · answered by Munchy Mooneo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit him down and have a small chat with him. He should listen to what you think if he truly cares. If he wants 1 account between you tell him he has to change.
2006-08-20 13:15:21 · answer #10 · answered by tercor123 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have the right idea, for sure. Debt is a good thing to stay out of!
2006-08-20 13:12:50 · answer #11 · answered by bluez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋