My husband has been lying to me for several months, I feel betrayed and want to help him
2006-08-20 05:42:21 · 14 answers · asked by lee911 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You feel right, he needs help, and getting mad is not going to help. First, though, you both have to agree on something. Like, if he is too stubborn to accept your offers of aid, and thinks there is nothing wrong with him, then you should really consider professional counseling. There are lines you can call to get advice and ideas to help him stop. Try talking to him first though. Tell him what you feel, tell him he hurts you more when he lies than when he gambles. If you can establish honesty as the first problem, then you can tackle gambling later. First he needs to feel completely comfortable talking about his troubles with you. I hope this helps, and stay strong, cause there is NO reason why this should ruin your relationship. Everyone has rough times, and he's still the guy you love, right!
2006-08-20 05:56:21 · answer #1 · answered by peakfreak 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sorry to say this but the only way you can help him is to get him to say that he has a problem and that it not only affects him but the whole family.. and if he can not control his spending and lying then he needs to get help. and you need to support him through it.. i have a family member that is going through the same thing and her husband took over paying the bills because she would spend all the money on gambling and almost lost their house ,they did lose a car and other things. it maybe hard but you have to confront him with the problem and let him know that you love and support him but this gambling has become a problem in your marriage and both of you need to seek help, just like drinking or drugs it's a habit and if it is hurting you then it needs to stop. lying goes a long with the gambling... good luck it will not be easy.
2006-08-20 06:12:48 · answer #2 · answered by montanamom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a therapist/counselor who specializes in gambling addiction. Make an appointment at a time that you know he wil be available. Tell him when it is and that he must be there. If he's willing to work on the problem, then stick with him. If he refuses to acknowledge it or work on it, then I recommend a "legal separation" to avoid damage to you financially. (Some states don't have legal separation.)
This is just like alcoholism. If he cannot recognize his behaviour as destructive or unethical, then he cannot fix it. In other words, he has to want to change.
2006-08-20 06:00:10 · answer #3 · answered by Otis F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You ask him to go to Gambler's Anonymous (it really does exist). Keep track of what he's spending (if you have a way to do that) and then show him at the end of the month/week/whatever, and prove to him he has a problem. Approach the matter in a nonchalant way or he will get defensive.
2006-08-20 06:18:13 · answer #4 · answered by bluez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Uh oh. pay attention. I were given said for calling people gruesome the day earlier to this... besides, no my hubby's lovable. We resemble one yet another -- no, we are not cousins. we are not siblings! YOURE SO mean! i imagine our ancestors are of an analogous tribe in Africa because our households seem alike. And if i'm wonderful, he's too lol.
2016-11-05 05:45:42 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband has an addiction. You can't help him. He needs professional counseling. Sorry. Your feelings of betrayal are justifiable and I can guarantee you that without help, he will continue. You should contact a lawyer and find out how you can protect your finances (even without a divorce).
2006-08-20 06:08:17 · answer #6 · answered by mJc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he lied about that what else has he been lying about?? get him some help, go to counseling because it's obvious you want to stay with him Through this... just be careful next he may start bonding jewelry, sale things out your house due to his addiction.... Keep your eyes and ears open from this point on, otherwise you maybe broke without a pot to piss in and a window to throw it out of...
2006-08-20 05:53:07 · answer #7 · answered by sassyme... 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't help him. He won't change unless he is willing to go for Gamblers Anonymous. If you don't want to leave then STAND BY YOUR MAN.
2006-08-20 05:50:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh I wouldn't leave. He would cause I'd put him out. The only person who can help him is himself.
2006-08-20 05:58:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to work it out if you can. If he won't quit seek help. It's a addiction.
2006-08-20 09:30:24 · answer #10 · answered by petesdarkangel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋