I have divorced my husband of ten years after I found out he was having an affair. We were having problems - problems I thought could be resolved with counselling. We were not spending enough time with each other, we seem to not have enough time for each other after dealing with everyday stuff, etc. That all changed after I found out about his affair with his co-worker.
Even though I know its over and that he is a liar, cheater, deceiver it still hurts that he could walk away from our marriage and our family. He is moving on with this woman in a way I could not even begin to think about. I need time to figure out where we went wrong, how we go to the point where we stopped working on our relationship, etc. before I can even think about other relationships.
Are there any words or advice that can help me get through this and stop the hurt?
2006-08-20 04:28:12 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am so sorry. The only words I know to give you are the one's that helped me during my divorce.
"When one door closes, God always opens a window".
It is true. Life will go on and you will look back and wonder why you spent the 10 years with the loser. There is someone out there that is deserving of your heart and love. They will come along when you least expect them to so don't think you have to search for them. They will find you.
Take care and God bless.
2006-08-20 04:38:17 · answer #1 · answered by bonjovigroupie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I honestly suggest you get yourself a journal. There will be many times when you will want to write things down or talk to someone. Doing so in a journal will allow you to tell the entire truth to yourself without omissions. Later, when your spirits are better, you can go back and learn from mistakes that both you and your ex-husband made.
The best thing for you to do is to not think about this day in and day out. I know that sounds impossible, but you have to make it a priority in your life to find new hobbies and interests so that this does not consume you.
Best of luck to you.
2006-08-20 04:37:48 · answer #2 · answered by VNCGirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The word which grants you the magic you require. I understand a thank you to be magic. You conveniently bypass to a church at midnight, and run around it thrice without ever as quickly as pondering the reality that of the word magic. in case you're able to do it you're particular magical powers without have have been given to snatch what the magic word is.
2016-12-11 12:00:58 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That must really hurt. He is not the man you thought he was. Just take things day by day....think of ur kids and remind ur-self that one day they will remember you being such a great mom. My sister went through this, but her x-husband beat her up too. She decide to go back to college and now everything is about her and her girl. Her daughter is her life. Children give a love that doesn't go away and it will never hurt. Keep that in ur heart and you will be fine. Ur husband made bad choices you didn't. Give ur-self time to heal and you will be busy being a mom. When you least expect it someone will walk into ur-life and you will be ready for it! Keep faith in god and remember that he loves you! Take care Hun!
2006-08-20 04:53:27 · answer #4 · answered by LeeLynn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need time -- and it takes time to get over the hurt and pain you feel. You had ten years with this man. He's moving on and you don't like that.
Take a vacation, get some new hobbies, but most importantly, take good care of yourself and don't get bogged down with trying to numb the pain with drugs or alcohol. The best revenge is living your life cleanly and taking care of your body and self as a temple to be respected and cherished. Do a spa thing.
Respecting yourself is the best revenge.
2006-08-20 04:36:03 · answer #5 · answered by Persephone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From de Mello: "There is no explanation you can give that would explain away all the sufferings and evil and torture and destruction and hunger in the world! You'll never explain it. You can try gamely with your formulas, religious and otherwise, but you'll never explain it. Because life is a mystery, which means your thinking mind cannot make sense out of it. For that you've got to wake up and then you'll suddenly realize that reality is not problematic, you are the problem."
2006-08-20 04:36:03 · answer #6 · answered by BonAqua Identity 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is better to go through the grieving process than to jump into a relationship on the rebound. Unfortunately it is better to feel the pain than to stuff it. A divorce is the death of a marriage. Friends and family will help you through this troubling time. God Bless you.
2006-08-20 04:37:45 · answer #7 · answered by Dennis Fargo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His relationship with her isnt likely to last, the excitement of an affair s nothing like the day to day grind of a full time relationship. And even if it does last, he will probably cheat on her too, its fact. Whereas you are waiting and understandably wary of starting any new relationships until you are completely over your previous one. Time will heal. And you can look to the future of unknown possibilities.
2006-08-20 04:37:48 · answer #8 · answered by sarkyastic31 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sure it is difficult. BUt ou just have to keep telling yourself it was for the best. Learn from the past mistakes he made or signs that existed and prevent them from happening in future relationships. Maybe join a local support group for divorced women.
2006-08-20 04:36:19 · answer #9 · answered by legguy2003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My Morning Thoughts
OF YOU
I said a prayer for you today
And know God must have heard-
I felt the answer in my heart
Although He spoke no word!
I didn't ask for wealth or fame
(I knew you wouldn't mind)-
I asked Him to send you treasures
Of a far more lasting kind!
I asked that He'd be near you
At the start of each new day
To grant you health and blessings
And my friendship to share your way!
I asked for happiness for you
In all things great and small-
But it was for His loving care
I prayed the most of all!
2006-08-20 04:45:19 · answer #10 · answered by Cobra 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋