Talked
He talked about me
He loved me
He even liked me
Till one day he stopped
I felt so sorry, i didn't know what to say
What to do.
What more was there left to do or say?
nothing.
1 week passed
i haven't herd from him
I felt like i did something wrong
It was only a joke
He took it seriously
He talked about me all the time
He loved me everyday
He liked my attention, he liked me for me.
Till he couldn't tell me it was annoyance, it really wasn't
i talked to much to him
only because he made me
feel so good, cuz i liked talking
to him
I loved him, I still do.
I liked him, still do i? Yes i do.
Why me? It had to happen to me.
i don't know what to do
He's changed so much
He's lied to my best friend
Did he lie to me?
Maybe
He talked about me
to my best friend
my other friends
even his own.
Does he care anymore?
Does he not?
Im lost and confused
I love him and i know its true
What did i do?
I just played one little joke
I some how hurt his feelings
2006-08-20 04:11:15 · 16 answers · asked by ♥mcmanda♥ 5 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
Will he forgive me?
i hope he does.
He talked about me
He loved me
He even liked me
By: ME!!!!!
2006-08-20 04:11:57 · update #1
shouldnt it be:
he liked me
he even loved me
doesnt like come before love? i dont know
2006-08-20 04:17:23 · answer #1 · answered by dtstuff9 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The lines are too irregular and there seems to be no pattern to your words which would make your poem more appealing. There are many possible patterns of verse. Keep working on it and perhaps get a book on writing poetry. I suggest *How to Write a Poem,* by Lawrence Jay Dessner. Your words are sincere and come from the heart. You just need to re-arrange them. I think you have the heart of a poet!
2006-08-20 11:25:47 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wasn't expecting much, but was surprised. It's a short documentary on the last week or so of your life. The verse is more clever than just jotting it all down in a diary.
Don't stop writing and keep this one so you can see how relationships change as you get older.
2006-08-20 11:20:58 · answer #3 · answered by rakuchild_shines 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a very good poem.I'm 13 and I love to write poetry,would you like to hear 3 of mine?
It's hard
It's hard to understand
when you have your head in the ground
It's hard to understand
that everything is fine when you are away
It's hard to understand
everything you say when you say it clearly
It's hard to understand
that we are the same but two different individuals
It's hard to understand
the two of us are meant to be
Can't you
Can't you see
I can only open my heart for so long
Can't you see
when I let you in you don't open your heart
But you don't see
me cryin'
You don't let
me in your heart
And you don't see
my heart is open for you
Pay attention
Pay attention
to not let me go
Pay attention
to when I love someone ealse
And not you
Pay attention
to your heart
Pay a little attention
to your brain
Pay a little attention
to the future
And pay no attention
to the past
Always pay attention
to us and right now
2006-08-20 11:49:49 · answer #4 · answered by Lil'A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, structurally it doesn't exactly come across as a poem. More like a prose.
You got your lines down, you know what you want to write.
So, you might want to consider doing some rephrasing and changes here and there to give it a better overall flow.
2006-08-23 16:19:28 · answer #5 · answered by Saffren 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was confusing..........Of course maybe not so if you are 14 years old. It sounds as though you had your heart broken. Your too young to be in love or to let any guy get you down.
2006-08-24 16:02:55 · answer #6 · answered by NobodySpecial 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make it shorter and to the point=like a song , and it would flow nicely.
2006-08-24 23:25:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kind of long and confusing. What was the joke?
2006-08-20 11:17:09 · answer #8 · answered by hfacto 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I Love It.....Tell him you're sorry for you're little joke....and mavbe he'll talk to you again
2006-08-26 09:10:47 · answer #9 · answered by geejaymac 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cool.. you've got skills!
2006-08-20 11:52:18 · answer #10 · answered by Shitter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋