Personally, a marriage based on love would be more fulfulling. But one that is used as a political merger has more stability because the couple typically is more open about monogamy if they are not attracted to each other.
Whereas marriages of love are based on something fickle-- the feelings of hearts-- one of politics is based on something that will remain. The couple enters the arrangement knowing exactly what they'll get out of it. They know there may or may not possibly include feelings-- so it's not a prerequisite for them to remain together.
So when the couple that is blissfully in love falls out of love, they'll most likely break up and divorce. But the couple that was never in love in the first place will remain in the marriage for the benefits, as that was what it began as.
I'm not advocating one over the other, just giving my opinion. Of course I'd want to have a marriage of love and romance, and not of politics, but I'm just pointing out the stability of each.
2006-08-20 03:43:02 · 16 answers · asked by Zyxxin 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
point of clarification: I meant successful as in longer-lasting.
I realize most will put Love-- but realistically... has anyone else noticed that as the number of arranged marriages DECREASES, the number of divorces INCREASES? is there any correlation?
I believe that love is better as well. But for a longer-lasting relationship, perhaps not.
2006-08-20 03:56:18 · update #1
evidently you've never known love. Lovers of the fullness, would rather die than be forced into a loveless marriage.
I understand that arranged marriages last. It is only recently, we're in a time where youngsters are stimulated in a sexual way and misconstrue lust with love. any union based on sex will fail. One based on mutual love and companionship can not fail.
In most cases people don't fall out of love, they just realize that love doesn't exist. they fell out of like and lust.
With sadness in my heart , I have to agree with your figures.
In the 50s and before , movies and music were about love.
From these things we were taught love. In the sixties I lived in Brooklyn with hundreds of friends, I never knew a child of divorce. Only movie stars got divorced.
2006-08-20 04:01:47 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An Arrangment is just that!! Not a marriage!! A marriage is a chance you take when you love someone! An arrangment is not based on love!! So it may work out longer but there is no love in it! Marriage is more of a give and take situation and harder to work on, where as the other is alrady been worked out and arranged, right? !! So it depends if you want to just settle or Not?? some people stay married just for a Campion, which sounds like an arrangment to me!! I woldn't want it !! I'd rather have love even if you have to work on it !!!!
2006-08-26 00:31:56 · answer #2 · answered by sports_runner_racing 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Interesting question.
Love and lust can easily be confused and a marriage based on lust is unlikely to survive - once lust dies you'll find you have nothing in common.
Love can grow from an arranged marriage but I guess that both parties would have to work hard at it as they won't be in a natural situation.
At the end of the day all relationships require work and nowadays with divorces being more easily obtainable there is less reason to put in the work required.
That being said I do agree with divorces where the relationship has truly died or an abusive spouse is involved.
Not sure if I've really answered the question but you're welcome to my two penny's worth ;-)
2006-08-25 18:49:23 · answer #3 · answered by Al 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love is a choice. So whether you chose to love someone you found, or chose to love someone you were paired with makes no difference.
At some point in every marriage you grow up and realize that in order for the marriage to work, there has to be more than just nie feelings and attractions. You have to decide to love that person even though you dont like them anymore. And thats what makes a marriage last.
2006-08-20 10:54:40 · answer #4 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
marriage revolves around love. if 2 people are really in love and love each other, they will never fall out of love. these days, people marry for the wrong reasons, that's why the divorce rate is so high. i don't believe that an arranged marriage would be very happy. there would be nothin between the 2 but political mater, that's not enough to make a mariage work.
2006-08-20 10:55:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am 28 and I have been approached with many I invites of arranged marriage, thus far I have not found a person that I feel that I would be able to grow/build with comfortable with. its like a proposal, and the person with the clearest blue print of what he's wants and how he plan to do it, can bid for the job...mean while everyone wins....love can grow between the two in time...and when it comes you/they would have taking the time to learn you. nothing blinded them.. they/you were really able to see who they are. yall are putting everything on the table.. and honesty/trust plays a major part in these kind of marriages.
2014-10-07 11:08:29 · answer #6 · answered by Lady 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
love. I was in a arrangement marriage when I was 16, never felt love in our marriage,we have 4 kids, and I was too busy thinking about love or divorce,so, I stayed, after 42 years I still can not find love from our marriage, it is sad , I wish I had divorce long time ago.
2006-08-25 17:00:54 · answer #7 · answered by sska 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love
2006-08-20 10:49:30 · answer #8 · answered by SXXINEZZ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know someone is is doing this. The arrangement is not as simple as it sounds. It is a long process with many choices and it is "tradition." He thinks it is cool and he's an MIT graduate. Not as strange as I first thought...and it would not surprise me if the marriage had a better start and would last than most other marriages
2006-08-24 09:58:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hands down a marriage based on love is the best.
2006-08-20 12:33:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋