What are the chances of......?

Question

rebuilding a relationship that is on the verge of divorce?

Cause of divorce was him lying and cheating on several occasions. Now that he knows for a fact that I want him out of my own and my kids' lives for good, he promised to do all it takes to turn over a new leaf. I have given him a period of 6 months to go through weekly therapy and counselling to proof his worth, failing which I will proceed with the divorce.

I know it will never ever be the same again, in terms of trust and love, just wanna know anyone been there and done that, and any regrets in giving the chance to rebuild the damaged relationship?

Answer 1

Well l speak as l am a divorced man, l kinda lived the way your husband did, and the bad news is that me and my wife regretted going thru the divorce, as my daughter misses me, l had a home and suddenly after 5 years of building a home l lost it, l will like you to maybe think again as sometimes adults do things cos they think they know whats best, but in the long run it is not a option, l always feel as long he does not abuse you verbaly and pyhicascaly u may wana consider allowing more time. True it will never be the same but my wife did all she could and back then l did not really think much, the day lsigned the divorce papers l cried cos l am all alone again, please do not follow thru as it is heart wrenching to see a marriage go down the drain. Have a good talk and see what he says, if he does not wana talk (like l do) then write it down on a paper and wait for his reply, do not push each other. U take great care and hold the emotions for a while, think of the aftermath as it will be more than u expect when u have kids

Answer 2

theoretically there is always a chance if both of you are committed to making it work, but statistically no chance. If you guys let your relationship get this bad for this long and not corrected it, you won't. Once trust has been broken this badly it is a line you cant uncross. You will always remember the hurt and if you suspect him often of cheating then he is going to think its ok because of his past indiscretions being forgiven (you're taking him back after he has done this to you more than once?) or he will get sick of you never being able to trust him. Either way you're screwed. Do both of you a favor and give each other a fresh start with someone else. Never accept someone you cannot trust. Cheers

Answer 3

Well let me tell you... My wife came up with the same song and verse when I informed her I was moving out... No one can give you an answer to this. With time could you see yourself ever trusting him again? Not sure how long yall have married or if this is something new but people can't change. They are who they are. Move on and find that special person who makes you happy to wake up in the morning. I know I have and it's a wonderful feeling...... Good luck...

Answer 4

I've been the victim of a cheater and a liar, but forgave and stayed. I've had moments that I've regretted it, and moments I wish I'd moved on. Most of the time, if something odd comes up, the cheating comes to my mind, but I have to force it out. It's not an easy decision to make, but if you stay, you'll have to push the negative thoughts back, they can ruin the effort you're putting in. I'd like to add that so many people recommend counseling for all kinds of situations as if it's some panacea, but it isn't. Ultimately the solution lies within you.

Answer 5

well my husband cheated once (as far as i know) and we are still together. but i most say. If he had done it a second time i will divorce and take everything, the house the truck our daughter, then i would get him to pay child support. well i don't know why any one would want to live in a relationship like that i mean he did this to you over and over and you are willing to let him stay if he proves himself. no. nope. i wouldn't do it. i would tell him look you had your chance you had a decision to cheat or not to cheat and he cheated so that proves right there that he is not happy or he is just a cold hearted s.o.b that needs to have his cake and eat it too. look all i can say is i wouldn't salvage that relationship. he will more then likely do it again. well take care Hun and good luck.

Answer 6

Sounds like my ex-husband,I kept believing he would change and he seemed to of loved me very much,but the lying and cheating never stopped,and I left many times hoping that would change,than he would come and beg me back,giving me all the promises and to please forgive him he cant live without me,than bam after a couple of weeks he was back to his own self again,so those are chances we take,you know your husband more than any of us,really know him, is this the kind of future you want for you and your child,the trust is pretty much lost,and you will always be wondering where is he now or is he cheating again,you cant completely give yourself to him with all these doubts. hope you make the best decision for you and your child. God Bless.

Answer 7

My ex lied,cheated and deceived for 3 years saying he wanted to keep trying. I always said okay lets try. Now that I am divorced I really resent him not saying a long time ago that it was over. I feel used and feel like a fool because the whole time he was lying and making plans to move on. I'd move on if I were you.

Answer 8

The hope is always for reconsiliation. Its better to stick it out, you promised to love eachother through good times and bad. This is a bad time. Your husband lied, and was found to be untrustworthy. Whether or not you can love him through this dark time is up to you.

If he is willing to get himself help, like it seems he is, and you're willing to help him back to a place where he can earn your trust, then you should by all means do all you can to make it work.

But if he isnt willing then there is nothing you can do.

Answer 9

Some relationships really can pull out of a rough spot like yours. It depends on your strength, willingness to give him another shot, and his willingness to rebuild trust. Counselling is key. Good luck with whatever you decide!

Answer 10

lf already give a chance n he still do the same thing.lt's better end up.No point for u to stay with a man who always cheating u.Chance after chance u have give.Broken is already broken no used to rebuild.Today u repair it.Maybe tomorrow it will broke again.ln front n behind of u are diffrent.So did u still have any feeling with this man?This the main point.Think about it carefully b'cos this could be your final decision.