I am Mexican and my bf is white. As a Mexican we do thing differently. My bf don't understand that, he excuses himself by saying, "I'm not Mexican and we don't do it like that, or something similar". All i want him to do is not to verbally abuse me by calling me names, To keep his word or promise. I want him to spend time with me instead of watching sports, etc. Why can't he put me first WE DO LIVE TOGETHER!!!! and all my family and friends are in Los Angeles and we are here in New York, i feel lonely and he cant see that! what should I do? We live in his families house, Its chaos!!! His mom needs to know everything, his dad meddles like no tomorrow and makes us fight, his brother makes up lies about me, and his 13 year old sister is jealous and craves his attention all the time. My bf was a everyday drinker, so I told him to slow it down to 2 days a week, he did, and know he thinks that because he did that for me, he should get away from everything like spending time with and stuff.
2006-08-20
02:15:42
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21 answers
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asked by
Posh
1
in
Family & Relationships
➔ Other - Family & Relationships
WHAT SHOULD I DO? he's the only one that works and when he's mad it's his money but when he's fine, it' our money. He never wants to take me out, we are only 22 and 25, we should be making lot's of nice memories, right?
2006-08-20
02:18:05 ·
update #1
When you love someone you want to spend all of your free time with that person, you want to take them places take pictures, live life, surprise them or is all of this only true in movies like the "NOTEBOOK"? Because that's what I want, is that too much to ask for????
2006-08-20
02:21:29 ·
update #2
Im going to be real with you....Im mexican and I know plenty of mexican girls, not including the millions of girl cousins i have...Ive come to realize that a lot (not all) of mexican girls are really sensitive and tend to want all the same things like you want (like in the notebook)....nothing is wrong with that, at all...you know what will make you happy and thats good...the reason why i say all this is to let you know that its not you...you're not asking for too much...you just might be asking too much in his eyes...hes taking you for granted....you need to go home (to your family) and really think about if you're happy with him....let him know you need to think about things and this will let him know you're not happy....if he really cares about you then he'll change....you need to just get away for a while.....in my opinion
2006-08-20 06:13:06
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answer #1
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answered by me m 2
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Although, u didn't give detail about how much he loves u,
LOVE is onething ,that knows no colour, class or tongue.
LOVE accommodates differences and endures it all.
if he loves u as much as u do ,Mexican or no mexican origin has little or nothing to contribute to ur relationship.
let me assume that there is LOVE b/w the two of u.then try talking him into changing ur environment ( just 4 the two of u).
Its obvious his family members are hostile to ur relationship
Since u can effect his drinking habit positively, u could do the rest if and only if the familily pressure is reduced.dear, if he truly loves u ,then sow the seed of PATIENCE , while u allow +ve changes on him.Good luck.
2006-08-20 02:52:06
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answer #2
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answered by tusk3gee 1
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Wow, this realtionship sounds like a disaster.
First off, he should not be calling you names, no matter what his ethnic background. And if he won't keep a promise, how can you trust him?
Second, living in his family's house is only going to cause trouble. If you want to make it work between you, you need to get your own place.
As far as money, can you get a job? It really helps to have your own source of income.
But it really sounds to me like this relationship has too many problems.
Good Luck!
2006-08-20 02:23:43
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answer #3
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answered by Anonymous
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I'm gonna tell you the same thing most answers will...leave him. There isnt gonna be any nice memories or photos with him and you know it. Find someone else. And dont go thinking he'll change. Because what if you do wait to see if he'll change. He might and he might not. but more likely he wont. and that'll be all that time you've wasted. You only live once okay so dont blow it. :)
2006-08-20 02:32:48
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answer #4
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answered by Anonymous
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He should want to take you out. It sounds like he doesn't even want to be with you - he's just staying with you out of habit. I have friends like that who don't go out and we feel so sorry for them. We work hard and go to school but we also go out dancing and clubbing and to the movies and dinner and go on little adventures and "make memories". A good relationship needs 5 things - Communication, Fun/Humor, Respect, Honesty, Caring... And it sounds like you guys don't have ANY of those things. Try counseling, a trial seperation, or break up.
2006-08-23 17:39:43
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answer #5
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answered by Anonymous
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I know you wanted a guy's opinion. but I have to step in here. I was with someone who I thought was going to change. I won't say I wasted 6 years, because I learned a lot about myself. However, if he hasn't changed yet, he's not going to. He might change little things, but the big things are just who he is. So you have to decide for yourself what you want and what you are willing to put up with. Good luck.
2006-08-20 02:22:18
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answer #6
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answered by tmac 5
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Your living with him along with his parents and other siblings thousands of miles away from your home and there is chaos, he verbally abuses you.
Girl, I know you love him but think for a moment. Go home or at least get out of his house. Time to leave....really.
2006-08-20 02:27:44
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answer #7
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answered by moonlite1us 3
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As a whole ,there is a common thread to all of these answers....LEAVE HIM . Get yourself a part time job, make enough for a plane ticket home and find yourself a REAL MAN who will give you the love and respect you deserve.
2006-08-20 03:04:45
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answer #8
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answered by styxx59 1
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As a guy, my honest opinion is this: you need to leave this man. He has no respect, his family has no respect and you don't deserve to be treated like that.
It's not too much to ask to get something like in "The Notebook", but it is too much to ask when you're with a guy like this. Find somebody else, comprenday?
2006-08-20 02:41:12
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answer #9
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answered by Anonymous
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Your boyfriend is a jackhole. When he says "we" don't do it like that, he means abusive jerks because that's what he is. What on earth made you decide living with him and his family was a good plan? Get a job and get out of that house immediately. Also get a new boyfriend. That one deserves to be alone with his family.
2006-08-20 02:29:03
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answer #10
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answered by Kanga_tush2 6
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