Are there less "obvious" alternatives to training bras? My daugher is 10 and doesn't want other kids to know.

Question

My newest challenge is trying to get my daughter (normal height, weight) to wear a bra.

She has developed into a AA cup seemingly overnight - when she returns to school in a few weeks, this will be evident.

I think a training bra or spandex undershirt will help flatten her chest down a bit, but if I say the word BRA my daughter cries and takes off.

How can I help her through this time & minimize her embarrassment at having developed "early"?

Are there less-obvious alternatives to "training bras"?

My daughter is convinced that if the other kids see any kind of strap-marks through her t-shirts that she will be ridiculed! Having developed early myself, I know this to be true, but what are my alternatives? (brand, style)?

Answer 1

I used to be like that...

I was ten just three years ago, and there were lots of girls wearing bras. If she's really that uncomfortable wearing one, just give her an undershirt to wear. I started out on a sports bra, they're really good, too.

If she feels uncomfortable, just tell her not to wear white t-shirts, where straps are visible.

Good luck!

Answer 2

I'm not aware of any other alternatives other than to wear layers over the bra. Layers are "in" now, but it might be too trendy for a preteen.

Your spandex undershirt option seems a compassionate way to go unless you are willing to let her go without any kind of support there. I'm sure she won't be the only early developer in school. These days it's actually more common for 10-year-olds to wear bras at the start of the school year. She has nothing to worry about that won't be cured by understanding the how to handle people, and to appreciate the changes she will go through in this time of her life. Good luck.

Answer 3

My 11 year old has the same reaction somewhat. I bought her some Hanes sports bras -- I just put them in her room with a couple shirts I bought her. I've noticed she has wore them a couple time, but like your daughter she still small so I don't push the issue. Hanes also makes a racer back sports bra.

I highly suggest a book called "The Care and Keeping of Your Body" -- it's an American Girl Book. It talks about how her body is changing. Of course, this doesn't mean you don't have to talk about it, but if she will read the book on her own terms perhaps she will come to you with questions. Mine did. I bought it and just put in on her pillow, nothing said --- a couple days later at Walmart she put some deodorant in the cart ..... small steps. A couple weeks later, she mentioned I was out of razors.

And momma, if she developing make sure you talk to her about her period -- also covered in the book. It will be here soon if she's starting to develop. (My DD started 6 months ago ... at 10.5 !!!). She won't tell me (other than the first time, she was so annoyed) , but I just make sure there are pads available.

Our babies are growing up.

Answer 4

She hasn't really developed so early. I would say she has begun developing on time because, a lot of girls started at ages 10, 11,12...when I was that age. I started at 10 just like your daughter.

Your daughter may not like it, but you have to talk to her. You have to start mentioning puberty to her, and how its normal for girls to develop breasts. I mean, you say she has an AA cup already right? Once she goes back to school, someones going to notice [boy most likely]. It just doesn't look right to see a girl with at least an AA with no bra.

As bad as it sounds, when I was in elementary school and all the girls started developing, girls who wore bras already would make fun of the ones who didn't.

She's growing up and you have to lead her the right way, even if she doesn't want you to.

Good day. :)

Answer 5

when I was like 10 or 11 those little cute bras from limited too were like the cool thing to have, even if you didn't need one at all. No one was made fun of for wearing one. They look like camisole tops, but are bras. They're super comfortable and the straps are thin elastic so they really won't show. they look like this: http://www.limitedtoo.com/detail/1070175 OR this http://www.limitedtoo.com/detail/1075066 they're sports bras actually, but not racer back. Try suggesting one to her, it looks less like a regular bra so maybe she will be more comfortable with it.

Answer 6

I also had the opposite problem, but I would reccomend a sports bra, or the tank tops that have a built in bra, they are way more comfortable, and can wear it under a button up shirt that looks like you are just wearing layers.

Answer 7

This is such a difficult time for girls. I remember the horror of that time in my life, and it is not fun. Your daughter is lucky to have an understanding mom to help her through this. Lerner's used to sell these things called body shapers, or something like that. They were like tang tops with a built in bra in them. I have seen them at JC Penny's too, but they call them something different. It looks just like a tang top with spaghetti straps, and they look great under a lot of different kinds of shirts. If you get the right outer clothing, the "tank tops" just look like it is part of the outfit. Those tank tops come in different sizes and colors. The ones at Lerners had them with an under wire and with out. It has been a while since I have been to Lerners so I am not sure if they still have them, but I did just see them at JC Penny's last month.

Answer 8

Listen to your daughter, if she is not happy to wear a bra don't force her, why don't you let her wear white vest tops, or bra tops, ask her what she will feel more comfortable in, the last thing you want is for her to be ridiculed at school, she is still quite young. If they joke about her now she will carry this on for the rest of her school days.

Answer 9

i'd say don't force her. she'll get a bra when the time is right. Size AA does not really need a bra. When she sees her friends getting one then she will want one too. Also, Target has some really cute ones if you insist. Just take her by there and mention that they look good.

Answer 10

have her wear sport braz that is the most recent way to wear becuase you arent really using the word bra your using sport in front of it soo its like a sport shirt ....im 12 i were sport braz. by 7th grade for her every1 will be normal she could also wear a cami a tank top but his has a built in bra so you would think its a under shirt and to make her feel more comfortable you can wear cami all by its self