How do you stay in love with your wife/husband?

Question

Please state how long you have been married. Thanks. (You just might save a marriage. Not mine, my marriage is going good. But somebody else's.)

So let's tell them how....?

Love is life's greatest passion. It cannot endure indifference. It needs to be wanted! Like a lamp, it needs to be fed out of the oil of another's heart, or its flame burns low. To endure, love must be returned, in order that it may nurture, and be nurtured in return.

Wow, so many rgeat answers people, thanks so much for your replies.

No, Princess, putting an effort to stay in love with your spouse is not a CHORE at all. it is something that you want to do, to keep doing, and not just when you have time for it..you cant compare it to a chore.

Answer 1

I've been married for 4 1/2 years now. In my opinion marriages will always grow and mature.

People have to realize that no one is perfect. Especially for ppl who have never been married before and never lived in with the person before they married. Learning about each other in that way takes time. Some of the things my husband did when I first moved in truly FREAKED ME OUT. But now it's like o, well whatever love.

Marriage isn't suppose to be boring, dull, or stale. Do things together that you both like doing. There's a whole WORLD of possible things you can do to keep excitement, adventure, etc in your marriage.

Recently We tried flavored condoms. It was something that came up in a Pastors Wives Brunch that I held here at our home- and I was curious, so we tried it. It was interesting to say the least. Am I saying you should try flavored condoms. No- what I'm saying is- Talk with your spouse about something that you're curious about trying, or something that you have interest in trying and try it. It's exciting. Your bedroom life doesn't have to be dull or routine.

"staying in love" in my opinion isn't something I'd want my husband to do. I want him to continue growing in love with me. Because love isn't just this like...one stage. Love is something that continues to grow. You shouldn't always remain on one level because that would mean that there's been no continuance in the two growing together.

The things you did while you were dating you can still do now that you're married, you don't have to stop going places, or stop acting silly together.

Living & Sharing your life with your spouse will help you continue to grow together.

Do things together that you've NEVER done before. Because if you do the things you always like to do together that could be come boring. So add something new that the two of you have never done together!

My husband is trying to convince me to go on a cruise in a few months. I'm still thinking about it. It's something we've never done together. I believe it will be exciting and we'd both have great memories from it.

Memories are important too. You both should have an endless array of wonderful memories of your days together as your live.

One thing I'm looking forward to this Holiday season (which is suppose to be a surprise, but some church women just can't keep a secret) my husband is planning a wedding ceremony for me.

Naturally it won't be like..you know "do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife" blah blah, because we're already married. But there are going to be gowns and flowers and lace, and things like that (which I ABSOLUTELY LOVE).

It's going to be special and beautiful! I know We'll have wonderful memories from that. Am I saying you have to do this...no. I'm saying be sure you have memories.

In your marriage you'll have good days and bad days, happy days and sad days. Days when you'll feel like you want to leave, and days when you'd die before you leave!

Marriage is living and sharing your life with the one person out of all the people in the world that you chose to be "cherished above all others". Growing with that person in EVERYTHING, and Learning with that person, and continuing to grow more and more in Love with that person for the rest of your life despite their bad habits, despite their flaws. You see in that person something that you know will balance you, and bring balance to your life. And you want to be the one who can bring balance to their lives.

Is there a perfect couple...no not truly. Is there 1 perfect mate in the world for everyone....no, I don't believe so. Because there would be no union if there was. There would just be two perfect people that wouldn't bring anything to the others life. Do you understand?

There's no perfect, or right or wrong way to continue growing in love with your spouse. Every couple is different, Every marriage is different. Do what is right, special, memorable, surprising, exciting, new, and different for the two of you!

Blessings To You & Yours

Answer 2

Hi Hun,

Congratulations on your marriage. I don't think there is any hard or fast answer to this question.

If the walls of any relationship are trust and respect then to complete the picture of a loving one you need a roof that is made up of passion and greater understanding of one's faults not just good things. This can only be acheived by breaking routine and doing things together outside of your normal comfort zones. Also have time to be on your own and coming back with even more things to be proud about and to talk about together.

I think a lot of marriages breakdown these days because the heiarchy of needs has changed over the years - what do I mean ? well when the previous generations were "getting together" it was more about practicle survival so you picked qualities in someone that would be around to support and make things happen to produce the environment to have adequate food, drink, shelter and food and inheritance. Today however all of the things you need are readily available in a supermarket or a cheep flat to rent. So this means that people look for things higher up the needs ladder when getting together - such as how someone makes you feel on a physical, mental & status level. However these things are thickle and can be easily tarnished when that couple are put on hard times - the qualities needed are not always ones you picked.

I would probably guess that this person you are talking about has had their partners attraction appeal drop in their eye's. Wether that be in a fun factor or physical factor. Routine can be to blame or the fact that neither makes an effort to be romantic, flirtatious and fun to be around.

My only advice would be to have a talk about whats good in that relationship and where things can be improved. Then spend as long as it takes to just be 110% into that person for a while. Break routine and do different things and try and spark that flirtaous fun.

If all does not work or the other is not being as focused - a diffent answer may lay in your path. Just be true to yourself and don't cling on to hope if their is none but give it one more last try. That way there will not be a feeling of "Could I have done things different or better" and you can move on knowing it just isn't right with no baggage - finding that love again. Life is like photography sometimes - you can build a colourful picture from the negatives!

Hope this helps

P.S.I'm going through this now and have been married only 4 years

Answer 3

If you have to struggle to stay in love with your husband then it's not worth it. I have been married a long time, and everyday I fall more in love with my husband because of the person he is. I am in love with my husband, and I love him. You can't force what isn't there, and might never be there. I think it's time to reevaluate your life, and make some very hard decisions. You could be going thru a rough spot too, and that will have an effect on your feelings. Try to be rational and above all else, kind.

Answer 4

You ask HOW DO YOU STAY IN LOVE like it is a chore or something. I have been married for a year and a half but with my husband for 4 years. We love each other very much. We are soul mates and the way we met is proof. Not everyone will find their soul mate right away. You don't STAY in love you just ARE in love.

Answer 5

Reguardless if he gets me upset, I'll sitll love him and not drill on things that he does or says. Because that's all part of a relationship. And just pray for him and the relationship always. Always think about what attracted you from the beginning and also how much your in love with each other. We've been together five years and within that five year we've been married two years. But really all you need is the love of God in your marriage and you will stay in love forever! Amen

Answer 6

I've been married for almost 21 yrs and to be honest, we've had our share of ups in downs in our marriage, like most couples do...it just wouldn't be normal.

I believe that if you truly wish to stay in love with your spouse, in my opinion, would be to have the following in your relationship:

1 - Openly express your feelings - open communication is a very significant key factor to a successful relationship.

2 - Honesty and trust.

3 - Be each other's best friend.

4 - Keep the romance alive - be spontaneous.

5 - Be sure to admit your mistakes, if you know you are wrong - nobody's perfect.

6 - Don't keep bringing up past mistakes - leave the past in the past, where it belongs.

7 - It takes two to make a marriage work - most problems can be worked out...see a counsellor if need be.

Speaking from experience, the grass isn't always greener on the other side...sometimes you don't know what you have until it's gone...

Answer 7

When you fall in love, you feel the up most powerful sensation of tranquility and a though that is enriched by everything you can possibly imagine not seen, but desperately wanting to know.
You never get enough, but you also your a completed person with all the trimmings attached. It takes an unexpected person not to acknowledge that and it causes problems in every way that eventually leads to divorce. Your in love sop be it, but always remember to expect the unexpected because that's when your put to the test just how much you belive in yourself and how much of all that talk when you first met will stick or fall!

Answer 8

I have been married for 10 years now, and i believe in the word 'Communication'. It is the Root to a long lasting relationship. If you have communications, you would automatically have Trust, Honesty, Loyalty , Romance ... etc... Every morning we would have breakfast together, opening each others mind and would have a slow chat on what we have done wrong and which area needed to be changed. So... better communicate if you wanna safe a marriage.

Answer 9

marriage is not for everyone.. if two ppl marry and they know how to keep the love alive then no it wouldn't get boring.. it would just get better and the two closer everyday.. it get boring cause one loses interest in the other due to reasons so little that in the end leave you with nothing.. some embrace it while others fear it.. you never know until you go through with it.. of course i say this cause me and hubby been married almost 9 yrs and we're growing stronger by the day.. yea it sounds corny but it's true.. we still act like bf/gf from time to time and hold on conversations in bed for hours.. when you feel like giving up just remember back to the time you guys were crazy for eachother and think if it was worth it back then it's till worth it today

Answer 10

My husband and I have been married 19 years. We do things together when we can. With two teenage sons and both of us working (he works days, I work nights) it can be hard to find the time but we do. We talk when we can too. It doesn't have to be anything deep and serious but we communicate regularly. Being silly sometimes really helps us. But the single most important thing is to find time to do things you enjoy together. Biking, lunch, whatever. Stay in communication with each other.

Answer 11

My wife and I have been together for 6 years. Bad times and Worse times. Very few good times. I think we hold together because of the little things. We have been through too much to give up now. Drug addiction, an affair, divorcing our other spouces, kids. All of this was in the first year. Sometimes you just have to hang on even when it feels like there is nothing to hang on to.