husband did nothing for my birthday, what should I do?

Question

Dear all,

I might sound ridiculous but I feel so lonely & not loved enough.

Two days ago was my birthday and my husband just told me happy birthday. and Thats all ..

We are newlyweds even and I planned such a cute simple birthday celebration for him last month.

I wasnt doing that to expect the same kind of effort from him. But I am afraid when I did that it made him more anxious on what to do for mine and ending up doing nothing.

Whenever I told him I like this or that he'd say that he'd get it for my birthday or so forth. Well nothing happened..

I want to excuse him, probably he is overwhelemed or shy or just confused. But in the same time I feel i wanna burst into tears .. I am not myself with him and I cant let go of this silly matter and I dont want to tell him it might push him away.

Answer 1

Tell him tell him tell him. Marriage is about sharing your feelings and talking about the things that bother you. If you can't tell him how you are feeling more and more things like this will happen.

I think you should sit him down and say "I love you very much but I have had hurt feelings for a few days now because I thought something was going to happen for my birthday and didn't"

Don't yell, don't scream, don't start accusing. Just flat out tell him how you are feeling. Try to speak with as many "I" sentences as you can:

"I feel hurt"
"I feel upset and disappointed"

This is better because then they understand you and don't react to accusatory statements like "you didn't do anything" and "You made me feel bad."

Answer 2

I feel so bad for you, but I know exactly how you feel. I have been married 17 years, and have dealt with this year after year - for birthday, Mother's Day, Anniversary and Christmas. I have made it very clear to him, nicely, that I want some acknowledgement of these occasions, because it is important to me. If he doesn't want the same, fine. I always thought he should have consideration of my feelings. Like you, I have made excuses - my sisters would always ask what I got for a gift for an occasion, and I'd have to hem and haw and I have lied once in a while. There have been time my husband has taken the very broad, and some very open, hints, and has gotten me gifts. I always tell him it's not the cost of the gift (it really isn't - there are pretty earrings at the dollar store!), but that doesn't seem to be it. Some years he does okay. But this year, for example, I didn't get anything for Mother's Day or our anniversary and it still really, really hurts. I have talked to him about this many, many times - sometimes nicely, and sometimes angrily, because I just couldn't help it. Overall, I guess I don't have a real answer for you, just that you are not the only one. I'll keep a look out for others answers to your question.

Answer 3

First, I think he is a thoughtless person. If you are newlyweds, what is going to happen after several years. Nip this one in the bud. Tell him that birthdays, Christmas and sometimes in between are special to you and calls for some effort from him such as a special date, jewelry, candy, flowers, something that shows you that he loves you. Do not be afraid of pushing him away. If it does, then, my dear, I'm afraid you are better off without him. Little things do mean a lot and if you keep your feelings in, someday it's all going to come out in a burst of anger so go tell him right now!

Answer 4

I know you're afraid to speak to him about this but I'm afraid you're gonna have to. It is your right as a wife to let him in on your feelings because if you don't tell him, he will NEVER know. Why should you be afraid of pushing him away? Wait for the right moment to tell him and when you do, stay cool, calm and collected about it but remember to be honest. Don't butter it up or beat around the bush about it. Some men are just not good with this kind of thing and he probably needs a little coaching.

Answer 5

You need to tell him your feelings and he needs to listen. You two are married and your already say you don't want to talk because it might push him away.

Newlywed class 101 in session. First Communicate with your other, spouse,. Talk and express to you spouse your feelings. Listen to others feelings. During these talks the word BUT is not allowed to be used. Also. Do not react as if what is said is an attack on you or other.

Now dam it start talking to your husband.

Answer 6

He is your husband. Even if you are newlyweds. You should not push him away by telling him how you feel. You just need to tell him that he hurt your feelings by not acknowledging your birthday. He probably did not know what to do. Or what you expected for your birthday. If you want your marriage to be successful you need to be open, honest. And communicate.

Answer 7

Probably the best thing you can do is search for a guy with a shaved head, a slight paunch, and a very bad attitude. He's the type of guy that smokes a lot of cigarettes and bitches a lot. I'm pretty hard pressed to think of exactly who I am thinking of, but, I have a sneakin' suspicion that the son-of-a-***** is me. Anyways, you should hook up with this mean *** old man.

Happy Birthday.

Answer 8

Most women feel like you do and most husbands never do anything for their wives. Don't feel alone, just get used to it. It is not a reason to get revenge or forget your husband on his birthday. That is how men are and have always been. There is no reason for you to cry or feel bad. The older you get the more you will realize that birthdays are not that important. In fact some years my birthday will come along and I will have forgotten that it is my birthday until someone calls and wishes me happy birthday.

Answer 9

Well happy belated B-DAY
Don't feel bad, I haven't got anything for my
B-Day for the pass 4 yrs and the last one I
had which it was in April believe me I am so
used to it that it don't phase me anymore.
By the way I'm not marry, but I do have
family's and their the ones who don't care
about my B-Day anymore. But when it comes
to their B-Day I always gave them B-Day
cakes and expensive gifts, so since last 2 yrs
I don't do or give them jack Sh*t.
Maybe next year you should do the same, it's
a matter of fact don't even say Happy Birthday
to him next year.

Answer 10

does he know your birthday and giving you gift before you guys were married? If yes, then you knew what going to happen to be married to? If no, then something is wrong with him. find out. I never forget my wife and kids birthday. but I can forget my mom sister birthday. smiling.. ha ha ha. but you know that you have to tell him how you feel and that what commucation is all about. if you both can't then it will not last long. and I learn so much commucation with my wife better than my first marriage. and You need to step up the plate and say something. if not then you will not be happy ever .