Help! I want to come out! but fearing rejection... 14 male?

Question

i really want to come out - well to my best friend anyway... (i think he might be gay.. thats y i chose him) but im afraid how he will react. If he IS gay we will live as best friends happily ever after (CORNY! but cool) but if he isnt... i dont think i could stand the rejection. Any advice on how i should do it?

"The final report of the Baptist Union of Western Australia ( BUWA ) Task Force on Human Sexuality states that a person becomes a homosexual ultimately by choosing to be involved in same-sex activity" I really dont care. BTW, im not religious and u can shove that bible where the light dont shine, Enfin. Sorry to all you other non extreamist cathlecs, as she just pisses me off. So football is condemed by "the bible"? it is a "same sex" activity aint it? But oh well. Go convert some jews. oh yea, i thought you heavy cathicians "accepted people for who they are" i beleive in common sence, not sexist crap.

Enfin, i guess you are right about the whole 'disease' issue, but i just dont feel the same way about women as i do about men! i perfer to go with my heart, regardless the consiquences, wether good or bad i know that i will feel beter about myself knowing im not living a lie.

Answer 1

I think u should not be worried about anything man, this friend of yours if he really is your friend and even if he's not gay he is going to accept you for who you are period. You are young yet old enough to know what you want so if this is something you want to do, go for it, and best of luck! =D

Answer 2

Hey kid... coming out is not easy to do, no matter what your age. If you;re 14 and this guy is your best friend, I'm going to guess that you;ve been friends for a few years. If that's the case, I would venture to say that he has probably suspected or thought you might be gay at some point. And I know that the following statement is an "adult favorite" to say to younger guys, but its true... if he can't accept you for who you are, then he's wasn't a good friend anyway.

You should be proud of wanting to come out of the closet at your age. When I was 14 (I'm 33 now) if a kid had thought of being out, it would have been a huge mistake. Now, it seems like kids are coming out of closet must younger than they used to. I thik this is great because it takes a lot of courage to admit it, and it really shows you have... umm... cohones. (LOL)

If you DO decide to tell him, and he IS gay.... please don;t be too anxious to hop into the sack with him. Wait until you can be with someone special, and until you're at least 16. Trust me on this.

Answer 3

At 14, you cannot speculate on living happily ever after with anyone, kid. You are far too young to even entertain living with any individual forever, because you will change your mind about your partner many times. Anyway, there is no way to come out except to tell your friend but always be prepared for rejection and possible ridicule. Of course, straight people have to fear rejeciton too - and ridicule for certain things - so in that sense, everyone is the same. Good luck.

Answer 4

I seriously would suggest for you to refrain from attempting to enter the forum of homosexuals. You are young and I truly believe that this would be the ultimate mistake you would ever make.
To a large extent biological or social factors contribute to a person's bent toward homosexual behavior, this does not excuse it. Some people have a bent for abuse of alcohol, but they still choose to engage or not engage in this behavior. The law rightly holds them accountable.
The final report of the Baptist Union of Western Australia ( BUWA ) Task Force on Human Sexuality states that a person becomes a homosexual ultimately by choosing to be involved in same-sex activity. This is in contrast to innate characteristics such as gender and ethnicity! The report affirms that the Bible is clear that sin involves choice, and it condemns homosexual behavior as sin.
Throughout the ages God has never changed His mind about the family unit although mankind has attempted to change the command of God. ( Leviticus 18:22 ) reads: " Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind; it is an abomination. " If anyone has any doubt as to what this refers to, God is condemning homosexuality.
In Genesis chapters one and two; you will find Jesus's teachings on marriage. It was designed between man and woman and there are a number of reasons why. Man and woman's anatomy is obviously designed for the normal relationships. The combination of male and female were designed to produce offspring.
Furthermore, it has been proven that homosexual activity is prone to diseases, anal herpes, hepatitis B, intestinal parasites, Kaposi's Saracoma, and Aids.
Please seriously think of the choice you are about to make as it will remain with you forever.

Answer 5

If he is really a friend he will accept your feelings, although he may not be into gay sex.

He may also not be ready to have sex with anyone.

Love has it risks, but taking the risk is the only way to find that true love that will bring the happiness you seek.

If he is your "best friend", he has emotional feelings and attraction to you and you must be providing him some of his needs for love so it is just a matter of seeing if he is open to making it sexual. If not, just realize that there is more to the relationship you have with him, and it is of course desirable for you to want to take the relationship to a sexual one, but this is not always what he might want out of the relationship.

Anyway, the relationship you have as "best friends" is one that must maintain honesty between friends or it renders it superficial. So yes tell him and then adjust the relationship to what both of you want because as I say there is more to love and relationships than just sex.

Answer 6

First of all, your personal integrity is most important as dishonesty causes many problems and can even effect your health. Don't under estimate people. Most people who really care and love you will accept the way you are, some may take a little time to understand and accept you but you will have a wonderful feeling of self worth when you get rid of the burden. I know as I am gay and hid it for too long - now I am free and loved.

Answer 7

Be courageous, listen to what your heart tells you.

And think about this: what kind of a "friend" rejects the truth about what you are?

You want to be sure you're in a "good place" to come out. Since you are good buds, you must have *some* idea of how he's going to react. If not, start testing the waters.

Answer 8

The best advice I can give you is to be very careful at that age -- and also be careful in that you don't really know your friend is the same orientation as you. Also, be aware that sexual activity between friends (of any orientation) changes the friendship forever --and that is something you might not be able to handle at fourteen years old.

Answer 9

well, It's a difficult call...but he will eventually find out if you are gay if you maintain the relationship for any length of time..It sounds to me like you might have a crush on him...best not to hit him with being gay and having a crush at the same time..You could try feeling your way around on this one a bit longer. Of course you can stand the rejection if that's what it comes to--don't worry about what could happen...try to see what is happening now...just try to lead into it easily...Good Luck.

Answer 10

You are very brave. I think though maybe you should come out to your mum and dad. If things don't go as planned with your friend then they will be able to offer you emotional support.

Maybe see a school counsellor too who can give you advice on how to deal with the outcomes of coming out.