split up with my long term girl freing 2 months ago and i;m still no where near over her what can i do??

Question

with got a 3 year old daughter together and lived together 5 years everything was perfect then bang she just dropped a bomb shell , she's carried on as if nothing up while im in pieces

Answer 1

try to read this friend, you might find some answer..

DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?"

I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your husband?"

In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind.


Here's the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about the imagery of that _expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.

But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it.

I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.


SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the _expression "the labor of love." Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... you can "make" love.

Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"... not just a feeling.

Answer 2

If you are at fault, correct your self.
when a woman (wive) leaves you, it is all over.
When a woman becomes independent, she never cares a man.
If she wants she can remain single or find another one for company.
The entire life is an illusion and you have to carry on.
If she is not interested in you, you have to do the same thing.
Find another one and be happy.
If you leave your wife and children for no reason, then it is a problem. She goes to court for alimony.
If a wife leaves, she leaves you for one or the other reason and she never comes back, almost. But she tries to create problems after some time and when she knows you have remarried. There is no end if a woman starts giving problem, because such woman is called Sadist woman (mental patients with no common sense).
Take care. bye!

Answer 3

Well as painful as it feels right now, time will help you get over her, 2 months isnt a long time compared to the 5 years you were together so its gonna take alot longer to get over. There is no saying how long it will take, but you should wait at least a year before you even think about dating again, thats what Dr. Joy Brown says anyways.

Answer 4

If she's carried on as if nothing happened then it was over in her mind long before she let you know.

The best thing you can do is better yourself, and focus on moving on. Nothing good comes from dwelling on the past. Also, don't waste your time with self destruction, going on drunken benders and getting into fights with new guys she's dating, and calling her, and any host of stupid **** guys do to ex girlfriends is a waste of time, and unfair to her for that matter.

Time heals all, and some day, you'll join the millions of others that some day realize, that a break up can be the best thing that ever happened to you.

Answer 5

You expect to be over someone you had a child with? That's a life long connection, stop fighting it. Seriously, a lot of your stress is coming from thinking you should be over her- you shouldn't. Focus on your daughter. Your gf does not sound like a very caring person, watch out for her, she'll be mean again. I speak from experience!

Answer 6

It takes a long time to get over a relationship like this, don't expect to be over it for at least a year. If your gf is acting like nothing is up, she is just acting. Even doing the breaking up is difficult.

Answer 7

sorry that you and your gf split but maybe you should try and find out why she ended the relationship....and if she is certain that there is no way that you guys could get back together....and if she has made it clear that you wont be getting back together then you need to look after your daughter as well as get out there to meet new people, maybe start a new hobby or something.

Answer 8

i know it may look difficult right now but the first thing you have to do is talk to her about your kid.what you guys want to do with living condition,child support and visitations.just beacause you teo did not work your kid should not get affected.then handle your business do not beg for her back she made her bed so let her lay in it. do your thing and handle your business.it may be hard at first but you can do it.whatever you decide with your kid write it down and both of you sign it and keep a copy.

Answer 9

Yeah, you should talk to her about why she split up. Maybe you weren't prepared to talk about something back then so things got left unsaid. See if there's a way you could make up.

If not, then I'm afraid you're going to have to adjust. time heals all wounds. so true. just got to give it time. sorry friend. I've been there myself on more than one occasion. got to be strong for your girl

Answer 10

If she can carry on like nothing, then you shouldn't be interested in her...especially since you share a young child.

Do your best to get over her.