2006-08-19 19:54:22 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
And does that gay person still love the person they are married to?
2006-08-19 20:04:20 · update #1
My dear friend Dan who now lives with his partner was married for a looooong time and knew very well he was gay, he did it to make his family happy.
2006-08-19 19:59:45 · answer #1 · answered by Chloe627 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's a good question, but the answer is probably more complicated than possible to answer here. First off, I think many times, yes, they love that person, but it isn't the same kind of love one feels for a lover. It is more like a best friend kind of love.
Sometimes they stay married because the feel they should do so for the benefit of the children. While this reason is not always valid, it is one often given. Other times, the division of property In a divorce would be disadvantageous to one partner or the other, or might actually be harmful to both. Other times they stay together so that the gay partner can save face to family or employer or clients. Sometimes one partner is dependent on the other emotionally, or more likely financially, and there is no way to maintain without staying together. There are also cases where the gay partner is deeply closeted, and while the straight partner may know there is something amiss, they don't know she or he is gay, and she or he is happy keeping it that way.
There is no one answer to this question.
2006-08-20 01:48:45 · answer #2 · answered by michael941260 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Several factors can come into play. First, they've lived like tha so long that they can't imagine themselves actually not being married. Second, they don't want to hurt their spouse emotionally or financially by requesting a divorce. Third, they themselves would be hurt not only financially but socially (at church, work, etc.) by a divorce under those circumstances. And fourth, even though they know who they are inside, they don't like the idea of coming fully out and interacting with the gay subculture; they might very well want a relationship similar to a marriage and that is not necessarily goint to happen in a gay relationship.
2006-08-19 21:02:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
People do it for many reasons. I'll tell you why I do.....I love my family. We NEED each others financial support right now (Where else would we go??? can't sell the house-we have a second mortgage), Fear, and many others.
I never thought it was okay to be gay. I never did. I had feelings, but was always told they were wrong.
I love my wife as a person......yes, you heard me, love her. I have been asked many times how I can "love my wife" and be gay. How I can have kids if I am gay.
The ability to have heterosexual sex isn't the same as being a heterosexual. Just like having homosexual sex doesn't make you homosexual.
ANyhow, there are many reasons.
2006-08-21 19:20:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
People who are married stay married to a straight person because... of obligation and love. Gay people can love straight people, love meaning not necessarily sexual attraction, rather, but they can care about straight people. Because their spouses are family. They don't want to hurt their spouses, and it's easier to stay married due to the fringe benefits financially. And because of the children of the family, if they have any. With children involved, it's easier to not split the family apart. The couple doesn't necessarily have to maintain a sexual relationship, but just support each other financially and take care of their children. Those people still care about each other very much and generally find it easier to be around those they love and feel obligated to care after, than to chase after their lovers.
2006-08-19 21:29:03 · answer #5 · answered by Zyxxin 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
TY Micheal, I too cried over BrokeBack Mountain. I was married 19 years, Had 3 boys with this woman. I repressed my feelings towards men all those years.Was faithful husband, all those years but not truly happy. I broke her heart, filing for divorce,and leaving to " be my true" self. I still feel guilty about it.
Twenty years ago things were so much different than today. You Did not "come out' you repressed these thoughts and tried to be "normal".I love my kids, but am sorry for what I have put them through all this.
I dated some men but they were not ok with me having children . Luckily I found my man , 5 years younger than me and in the same situation.I am one of the fortunute one's to have such a great man as a partner.
2006-08-20 12:36:03 · answer #6 · answered by yourmyman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are many reasons. Family, religion, obligations, sexual encounters that produced children, just to name a few. Have you ever seen the movie "Brokeback Mountain"? This movie made me cry, at the thought of two people who really and truly loved each other, but kept it hidden and apart their whole lives. It's sad that love just can't be LOVE that is appreciated by everyone. There is so much hatred, destruction, and war in the world. You would think that love, in any form, would be greatly appreciated.
But, to really answer the question, sometimes, people feel trapped, inside who they "really" are, and stay for the family, the children, the religion; like what I said above.
2006-08-19 20:00:35 · answer #7 · answered by Michael 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
me and my friend were talking about that yesterday when we went to a bar, and were wondering if the guys, who were quite old, would be marryed or not.
they stay married for the same reason they got marryed: social pressure, the need to please everyone at work and within their families, sometimes the wish of being parents (addoption in most countries is not allowed to someone who is not straight), and also the fear of being alone.
mainly, the reason is in their heads only.
now, why does a straight person stay married to someone that is gay?basically the same reasons.
2006-08-19 20:40:32 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The feeling of guilt,they felt that they have a responbilities in their marriage,its what holding their back to become who they really are.
But little do they realize that they are actually cheating on their partner and being unfair to them,because they are prone to having an affair higher than others.Imagine how miserable it will be to both of them
Once one find out her sexuality,he should't deny it,miserable is always there for him because he is trapped and although that means that the marriage is ruin,its better and fair to both of them
2006-08-23 11:56:07 · answer #9 · answered by Janet Y 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's what we're supposed to do. Our body parts were created for the opposite sex and we would like to pro-create. So while deep in our hearts we love eating females all the way out like its going out of style, the truth is we feel guilty about it and stay with the opposite sex because of the image associated.
2006-08-19 20:01:35 · answer #10 · answered by Jazzybinature 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋