Today i took my 9 year old boy and my 10 year old girl to the mall to shop for back to school stuff...and they would not stop picking on each other....i ended up lifting the girl onto my shoulders to try and separate them...this seemed to work, but it's kind of hard to shop with a 10 year old girl sitting on your shoulders...i toted her around that way until we got to the car...are there better ways to stop this?
2006-08-19 18:44:32 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Tell them that if they cannot behave and respect each other, than they don't need to do things like go to the mall, movies, etc. You can just as easily pick out there school items, and if they don't like your choices, then they will be more apt to listen next time.
By carrying your child around, you only treated the symptoms, not the problem...
2006-08-19 18:51:23 · answer #1 · answered by merigold00 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Preventive: before getting into the car make them promise not to fight....otherwise you will drive back and not go shopping that day.
Key here is immediate consequence. Tell them ahead of time what the positive consequence will be for not fighting. From there it's their choice: fighting or giving their best to get along. Both the negative consequence and the positive consequence should be related to what's happening : fighting= no shopping (not one month grounding)...getting along= shopping+ buying an ice cream afterwards (or whatever they think is enjoyable that can be done that day- best right after shopping- you know them best....but not going to Disneyland in three months).
2006-08-19 19:02:13 · answer #2 · answered by justmemimi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mrs Nice says....
Marigold's answer is right on!
I'd like to add to it though...
Before you leave to go shopping tell them you will not tolerate unruly behavior and that if they do act out, there will be consequences.
The very next time they act up, stop what you are doing and go home. Tell them calmly that you WILL NOT tolerate it anymore and tell them that is why you are leaving.
Once home their behavior needs to have some consequences. One evening without television, cell phones, computer and / or video games will not hurt them.
The key here is to firmly follow through each and every time.
Marigold gets the blue ribbon when she mentions that perhaps you could purchase the things for your children and that they have to live with them!
Soon they will learn to tolerate each other...
Sincerely,
Mrs Nice
2006-08-19 19:13:34 · answer #3 · answered by Mrs_Nice_Gives_Advice 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like hard work, trying to outsmart a 9 and 10 year old
2006-08-19 18:49:13 · answer #4 · answered by n2bateyou2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats was definatly the wrong way. You should have told them that would wear last years clothes if they didn't stop. Start taking things they like away and not letting them do things they really want to do as punishment.
2006-08-19 18:54:34 · answer #5 · answered by nastaany1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i got a 13 and 15 yr old that wont stop
2006-08-19 18:49:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
buy some kids boxing gloves and make them fight after they behave like this. This will end the fighting quickly.
2006-08-19 18:48:56 · answer #7 · answered by dt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋