Should I Divorce My Husband?? HELP PLEASE?

Question

My husband and I have been togteher 2 years. Im 23 and hes 24. I love him alot and treat him great but I feel hes been cheating for some time. I am very attractive...and always try to keep myself. I put a keylogger and found that he joined a site called friendfinder. He denied it and I printed his profile. ITS HIM. HE never paid for the site. So I tested him. I emaled him and sent a pic of a girl and asked if he wanted to meet up for sex. That is what the site is about. He replied saying he was interested and how pretty she was and gave her a different email to email him at. My heart dropped so they played email tag which is me.....and he gave his number. I one day took his phone and pretended to talk to someone and I said who are you ect....I made him feel it was a girl so he ran across the room and grabbed his phone...and yanked it out of my hand. He said its someone to buy the tires for the car. So he ended up breaking his phone in half. Next day hegave his firends number.

So he gave her the number of his friend and talked to my friend who I had call him. He was so excited to meet her and said he was single. Anyways I had her leave a message on his other phone which I re connected so I coud confront him. He denied eveerything even the emails. I told him I had a keylogger thats how I saw the emails and all that. He sais its his friend. Then get this....he now wants to divorce me and sais he cant take me anymore for treating him this way that I always accuse him and he does nothing, I have been nothing but a good wife. I do too much for him. Up till now he emails her begging to meet and wants to leave me...he packed his bags today and I was crying for him and told him not to go...I knwo im stupid but I love the guy but This hurts so much he lies to meee what do I do??? help please.

HE sais and swears he wuld never in his life cheta on me and swore on everything. Then said Im sick in the head. He sais his friends have his emails and sent his picture to some girl and he didnt do it.

Im scared to be without him...I feel its me he manipulating me...hes my first relationship...

he was ready to leave me today and I creid and begged hm to stay ...am I crazy...we have had good times and im trying to trsut him but I cant,,,i mean its 12 am he just went to drink cofee with the neighbor what marreid man does that???

Answer 1

he joined adult friend finder...thats a site for booty calls, keep all records if you decide to dump his ***...my advise is to give him the boot...and after that give me a call

Answer 2

There are two people out there that know he's a lier....YOU AND HIM!!! You know first hand that he will do and say anything to look good. He is trying to turn the story around and make you look like the idiot. Why let him do that to you? If he files for a divorce, just imagine what kind of stories he'll tell family members about you? All of a sudden everyone will think you are the one cheating. If I were you I would file for divorce and let the truth be known. I would make sure that everyone knew what that asshole did to me. Then I would move on and find someone who would be a good husband as well as a wonderful father to our future children. I know you love him but apparently he doesn't know what love is. If you've been married for only two years that is the perfect time to split. Don't let the years pass by wondering if the man you sleep next to is being faithful to you. You need to be strong and show him that you don't need him. I think when he realizes that you are independent and happy without him he'll be sorry for the rest of his life. The only way he'll find that out is if you act now because if you don't you'll be sorry later in life.

Answer 3

You should talk to him about this.. Gather all the information you have.. including the web site and all the conversations with the other girl.(YOU..). AND print them.. Maybe something else is going on.. you need to communicate with him and NOT.. give up on your marriage... If there is something to fix.. and you can do it.. why not.. We all make mistakes.. If you let it go.. for a longer time.. it will only hurt you. Confront him, try to be calm and make sure there is no interruptions..maybe at a park or somewhere where the phone will not ring or the door.. etc. Tell him that you love him and that if you are doing something to deserve this to let you know. Ask if he doesn't love you anymore...to please let you go. Tell him to put himself in your shoes..how would he feel if he found what you did. If he gets mad at you pretending to be the other girl.. explain to him that that is not the important point.. what is important is.. to...know what's going on.. and what you BOTH..are willing to do after this.. Fight for your marriage if.. there is still love.... nothing should get in the way.. If you feel like he will not talk to you..or hear and see everything you have to say... write him a letter and include everything you find (and print it..)..Maybe...try going away for a day or two.. and give him time to digest and face what he did....without trying to deny it...!! GOOD LUCK!!

Answer 4

I think you should meet him and call his bluff. The last person he will be suspecting is you. Make sure you keep copies of the emails should you need them in court. ; ) Send him something in an email that only he would know about when you show up to surprise him and burst his bubble. If he wants a divorce that fast. Hook him up girl-friend. You are still young and attractive, you have time to heal and find a decent guy. You can forgive and patch things up but he's already being a creep, and if he's sneaking around now, he will definately try it again. Only next time he won't be so easy to catch. Make your move while you can. Opportunities to catch significant others come along rarely, they should be fulfilled. Happy Trapping!!!!

Answer 5

Woo You busted him what a pig. I'm sorry your going through this it's horrible. Before he gets away since thats what he wants. Call cheaters "the tv show" and have him put on tv and bust him. Haha he'll have a hard time getting a date after that and it will teach him a lesson and help you feel better. You already know it's over and it sucks. But you be in control and you get rid of him. So you begged him to stay now kick him where it hurts. You deserve better. and even if you stay together the trust is gone now and not likely repairable.

Answer 6

Quite frankly, I think I would ask you for a divorce also. I personally think you went too far-that is to the point of spying on him. However, that is now water under the bridge. Let me try to deal with your question:
1) If he really wants a divorce, there is not much you can do to stop him. You will be only making life more difficult for the both of you. In that case you may be forced to release him.
I find that you made a very strange statement. You said that you love him. What does that mean? Do you truly love him or are you obsessed with him? You know i really think that if you love him you would not be so jealous of him. You would give him some space to roam somewhat. Love does not dwell on the bad and seek to find all the faults. Love hides the bad and tries to see the good.
The fact is that you have proven that he is willing to have affairs with other women so you may as well permit him to go.

Answer 7

Girl! Dump his a**! Take it from someone who's been through some difficult break-ups, and a tough divorce: time heals all wounds! This guy is trouble, what he's done is unacceptable in a relationship. It'll be hard at first, but you'll get over him - believe me! Reach out to your friends and family for support; perhaps you can even go stay with a trusted friend for a week or two, and cry your heart out. Everyone's had to go through a heartbreak at one time or another... and guess what - most people recover, and lead happy lives afterwards! You're young, you made a mistake with this one... But with lessons learned, you'll eventually find a decent guy who will treat you well. Please, don't even consider staying; leave. Good luck.

Answer 8

This is my advice to you... Since you have already done the leg work of basically catching him go all the way with it. Have your friend call him and tell him that she wants to meet up. Set up a time and place... Get there ahead of him and wait... Have your friend meet him and take him back to her place where you will bust in and really catch him. This way you are showing him that you knew all along and that he hasnt pegged you right. and that you know that this probably wasnt the first time just the first time he got caught. This will give you the closure that you need. Right now you are thinking with your heart and hoping that this will blow over and unfortunatley it probably wont so you need to have that confrontation so that you can see him doing this to you. So that you can walk away with your head held up and no regrets or doubts that this is right. Sweetheart he thinks he is getting away with something and in a way he is by continually turning it around on you. Make him face it then walk away. Good Luck and let me know how it goes. [e-mail]

Answer 9

Maybe he's right.he is honest,if this is right,whatever you did it's absolutely wrong,forget about his email,in life sometime thing goes up and down.this doesn't have any value it's always matter how much he loves you...and also you says that "I am very attractive"find out what is missing on you,Attraction is not good quality for good wife..Don't mess-up your own life.Good-luck.

When you love someone, And you love them with your heart, It never disappears When you're apart. And when you love someone And you've done all you can do, You set them free, And if that love was true.... When you love someone It will all come back to you - Forget Paris

When you realise You want to spend The rest of your life with somebody, You want the rest of your life To start as soon as possible. - When Harry Met Sally

Answer 10

Wow, i know about that site and I always share with my wife and asked what is this and she tells me everything what every site and until she said that site is good and safe and good to look for friend and pen pals. good thing I did that becasue I have nothing to hide and Also if I did have the site pay for I always tell my wife and she glad that I do tell her. She has alot of trust in me ...

Back then BF and GF I broken up with her for 6 monts and knowing that she too nice to me and I married someone was my first marriage and Knowing that didn't work out 8 moths and she threat me divorce 4 times and I had it and end it and Ihad no choice but try to find somewhere to go and I did I managed to do that smiling.

But took me 5 years to learn that to have her back in my life and fianaly she did and we got married and been 9 years in oct 06 and 2 kdis and 3rd on the way. But that first day i asked why didn't you see me and she said I want you to learn hard lesson and but I notice that you haven't give up for 5 years and no man ever do that long and most of them 4 months or less but you.. why? I told her becasue you first person I have sex and you are first and last for ever. and she agreee with me and I did learn hard lesson and yes we do have up and downs plm but we talked about it.. there be disagreement but we always worked it out.

You should be glad you haven't no kids with him and you did got him 110% no questions about it and he doing this to leave you and divorce you and now he going out coffee with a woman 12am in the morning.... wow, woman you are smart and you said you are beautiful and you did nothing but a great wife and you have done so much and again you so young....show him that you can do without him and he will se eyou how success you have been and you can live without him and later he will come back and beg make sure he learn long enough to show that he is serious ...

Again, you haven't done anything wrong and he said his friend use his site... well first of all he should told you beganing and he didn't so that his lost.

You will find better guy just like me learn and do respect my second wife alot. First ex wife no kids thank god.. and second glad it my kids and I know it my kids no questions about it. smiling.

Answer 11

wow, he sure knows how to manipulate you....he turn the table and made you feel like you were the problem...he really is clever, DON'T fall for that, I mean, he is just playing you, of course he would cheat on you if he has the opportunity. Now I know is hard to find yourself alone, but you deserve someone who treats you with respect, he should have been the one begging you to stay with him not you!!! anyway....don't beg him anymore..if he really loves you he'll be back...will you be able to trust him anymore?? I don't think so...but if you want to live with the fear that he might be cheating on you...it's up to you. You are still too young you deserve someone that loves you completely . Good luck