Should I leave my husband?

Question

This is the deal Ive been married for 6 years. Like 2 years into the marriage my hubbys brother gets killed my hubby always drank but when his brother dies he hits the drinking hard core. Its been already three years since his brother died but he is drinking and now doing cocaine what should I do? Mind u that we have 3 kids 4 3 and 2 year old. Iam already sick of this what can I do that will be best for my kids? Iam trying to live a christian life.

Answer 1

You need to talk to him try and get him to seek help with his problem..He need to realize what it is doing to his family and most his children.If you can't get him to understand it may be best to leave him and that may be to his benefit and hope it will make him understand what he is doing.
Your children surly don't need to live in a situation like this..

Good luck hope it all works out!!

Answer 2

Tell your husband need to get help and if not then Will leave and until he get helps. Your brother didn't want you to live like taht if he see you now he will never be happy to see that.

You have a wife and you have 3 kids need a husband and father......you are too busy doing your life with cocain, and drinking problem.. I am try to live a christian life and if you can't change it then I can't life like this.

Really need to be honest with him. if he going to hit you the way he don't like to hear then find safe place and then tell him... tell kids that daddy is sick and need help and we can't help him.... daddy will hope soon better. Don't put something bad about daddy. He might change he might never change.. you have to do what best for you and your children... have to leave it behind for your husband was doing was wrong. for 3 years it time to end it ... god and jesus knows and saw it and don't want you live with him like that for other year or forever..

He can ruin your life if cops found out have drugs and drinking plm in the car and boy you be in it too.. so better start now to become a christain life. I am not christain I know it is wrong and not safe. I left my family becasue they have been drinking and abuse and all that and I change my life and to serve my family better life.. and now 9 years marriage and No drinking since 9 years of marriage and I love myf amily and I have 2 kids 3 yrs old daughter and 2 yrs old son and 3rd due in March 2007...

Take my word. enough is enough time to end it. God said an eye for an eye... so he witness and saw... so you done nothing wrong.. husband is sick need help. asap asked him if need help if he said no don't want help then just leave him ... he made that choice.

Answer 3

If you loved him before this and could love him after, give it a chance. Addiction is a disease people do not choose to become addicts. If he wants to clean up, help him. Rehab is a big industry, professional help is available. If you are religious I've known a number of people who have gotten sober with help from church groups. There is also A.A ,N.A ,C.A.well a whole bunch of A's. Point being there are support groups. Incidental for you there is Alonon. If he does not want to clean up there may be little you can do.. An intervention maybe? Keep in mind there is little harm in trying a bit longer. At very least you will always know you didn't bail too soon. Again for you ,ALANON !

Answer 4

I am a married woman of 3 years and as a Christian, I know I am not perfect. When I have troubles in my marriage I pray to the good Lord for stength and wisdom. Although I know that I cannot change my husband, I know I have the power to change myself. That being said, sometimes it is the actions of the wife which will influence your husband to change because he will be so moved by your actions that he will finally change his old behavior. As a wife, it is your responsibility to get your husband some help--whether it is done by seeking professional help or from your pastor, you know that your husband needs you NOW more than he ever did. Who else will be there to help him besides you his dear wife. Right now he is blind and you must guide him and be his eyes. Now I don't mean to preach, but you have the choice of leaving him and giving up on your family, but how does that reflect on a Christian family? The Bible lets us know that we can only divorce if a spouse has been unfaithful--and unless he has cheated on you, you are suppose to stick it out with him through the good times and the bad, through sickness and in health. Although you may be extremely angry and frustrated with your husband remember: "Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you." Ephesians 4:31-32

Answer 5

I would say...don't give up on your marriage and husband just yet. First try some professional help for those problems for your husband. I know that dealing with that situation is really hard, and you are getting tired, obviously you want the best for your kids, and see his father drunk and high all the time is not what you want for them. Try talking with someone in your church, that will help you deal with your problem. And believe in the power of praying, help your husband get out of that addiction that is killing him, grab some patience and courage and give him an ultimatum...either he gets his act together and get some help or you and your kids walk out to a better life without him. Good luck and God Bless!

Answer 6

Your husband needs to get into a rehabilitation facility which will give him the tools to handle day to day events after such tragedy. Three years is almost too much after this type of event and the issue of adding drugs to his alcoholism is alarming. Drugs do not have a place in your relationship particularly with your children around. The decision you need to make will require a tremendous support group which the church you are visiting should provide. Seek counseling from the priest or pastor. There is a greater strength out there. Hold on to IT.

Answer 7

honey do you, your kids, and your husband a favor and have him bakeracted asap,sometimes hard love is best,, he will thank you later if he is willing to go thru the actual realization of the loss of his brother, hes living in a false reality, you have the power to fix this if you love and really want to go thru all the hard times to come, its not an easy road, but if your really just over it and feel in your heart that he will never change then by all means leave, do you want to loose your children over a drug addicted drunk? after all you live with the man and you know him best is there a chance he can come out of this on the other side? trust your intuition it will never lead you wrong... good luck and though im not a religous person ill say a prayer ,

Answer 8

I myself would leave the Drinking is what I have a problem with about my husband & cant seem to get it through his head that he has a wife & a 3 year old daughter that love him but i am now starting to think he loves his beer & friends more. I know it is hard with one kid but 3 even harder & I am sure you love him & hate to think what would happen if you left but you have to do whats best for you& your children & the cocaine is not good for any of you to be around. I would leave.... keep your faith

Answer 9

look, im not for divorce unless its under special circumstances and urs is a special circumstance, ur children are in harms way, and when ur children are in harms way its up to u as their mother to protect them at all costs from anyone that is causing them harm or could cause them harm even their father, doesnt mean u have to get a divorce but perhaps if u leave him, he will hit rock bottom and realize he needs help but if not, get the divorce u deserve a loving husband and ur kids deserve a good father role model.. any man can be a father takes a special man to be a dad, and ur kids dont need to grow up watching their dad going in a constant downward spiral.. how long do u wait, till ur 2 year old finds his stash and trys to do what daddy does???? BE A GOOD MOM GET THEM OUT OF A BAD ENVIRONMENT..

Answer 10

It seems as though he doesn't care about you and the kids if he's doing all of that. Even though you love him, you have to look at what is best for you and the kids. He is not being a good example of what a father should be to his kids. I've lost family and friends. A few in my arms. A few more on the battlefield next to me. We all have our own ways of dealing with things. He has to find another way. Hopefully he will realize that he is not only hurting himself in the process, but you and the kids as well. Pray and ask GOD to guide you. HE will take care of you and the kids. GOD bless my sister. I will pray for y'all.

Answer 11

first try and talk with him tell him he needs to seek some help like AA he needs to go in a detox rehab like now if he doesn't want to do that then your next step is to leave him and tell him when when he decides that you and the kids are more important than the drugs and booze you will consider coming back home but only if he seeks help and stay with the program and let him know you understand the lost of his brother is hurting him but this is not the way to grieve