Say you're an attractive woman with this longtime friend who isn't necessarily stopping traffic with their looks, but this person is well established career-wise (money is not a problem) and you enjoy his company. After a period of time this friend tells you that he has developed romantic interest in you. At the same time, a guy that you have been hoping would talk to you has started to (who is better looking, but is financially unstable) You don't have nearly as much history with this new guy. You never really thought of this friend as anything more, but you want a relationship that will work. Which is the best route to go? (Guys feel free to answer this question with the genders reversed-attractive male w/female friend)
2006-08-19 16:24:08 · 13 answers · asked by Teoshe 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Let me tell you honestly what I think..I don't think there is anyone on here that can answer this question for you..The reason being is you don't chose who you love .That is left up to your heart.I have been married now for 14 yrs and my husband is the complete opposite of what I thought I was wanting or looking for..But I wouldn't change it for the world..Your heart will lead you the right way just trust it..Money and looks can't buy love..But your being true to your self and your heart can...Happy Days to you and hope everything works out....Your Friend..
2006-08-19 16:39:00 · answer #1 · answered by Love Song 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to look at what may happen in the long run if you find a man that really likes you but isn't that attractive, but also has a lot of good things going for him and you enjoy his company I would take him over the cute guy that doesn't have anything! Just because I know that I would have a more stable life with him and we could be a lot happier because there won't be so many stresses in your life like how are we going to get money to pay the rent or the phone bill! Think about these things. What are the most important things in your life?
2006-08-19 23:55:20 · answer #2 · answered by chrissiewild79 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really had any intimate feelings for your longtime friend, I would think you would have felt them before now. You also run the risk of losing him as a friend if you try to have a relationship with him and it doesn't work out. I probably would just tell him that you've been friends for so long, and that you don't want anything to come between that. It will save his feelings, and your friendship. As far as this other guy...just go slow, and get to know him better. You will know in time if he is really the right guy for you.
2006-08-19 23:50:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say get the guy you are interested out alone, say for lunch, and matter-of-factly let him know you're interested in getting to know him better. This is LUNCH (you pay since you asked) and there is no pressure here. You'd find out why his finances aren't what they should be so you spring for the first lunch. Maybe that's why he's not asking you out. Any, if you're not married to either one of them, you can always date two guys. But the one you really like, I'd at least give him a chance to tell you what is really happening. Then with no pressure, he will feel comfy to ask you out. If he doesn't...drop it...and go the other way. Some guys are just shy and need a strong and willing woman to hold their hand. don't be afraid of rejection; it's a part of life. good luck...hope you get what you need...not what you want. god Bless you.
2006-08-19 23:51:17 · answer #4 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its obvious, you will end up being more happy with the man who isnt as attractive because its all inside anyways. He is stable and therefore ready to treat you better then the other guy as well. Good luck and have a great life with the "unattractive" man, soon you will think hes the sexiest man in the world.
2006-08-19 23:29:39 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already know the friend, but there's no spark there at all, so don't go there. Get to know the man you think is attractive, and see what his character is.
it may be that neither of these men is the one you really should be with.
don't settle for less than you want, you won't be happy in either situation.
2006-08-26 12:01:17 · answer #6 · answered by wayouthere 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why dont you stop and think. the good looking one that is not financially secure. what has he got to offer you besides looks? and believe it or not, looks do fade.
the one that isnt so great looking that has been your friend for years that can give you the world if you want it.
decide which you would like. to be with a good looker, or one that treats you for you instead of what you look like. take the friend. looks fade, sex fades over the years, but remember when the sex and looks start to fade, what are you going to have?
2006-08-25 16:52:57 · answer #7 · answered by lodeemae 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that you continue to wait for that special someone and who's to say that your good friend is not but I thinks it's safe to say that you're not feeling him right now. Forget about his money and think about everything you all have in common. But.....you have to be honest. The first level of attraction is the physical.
2006-08-19 23:38:28 · answer #8 · answered by whatIthink 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Character, Morals, Stability, Respectfulness, Honesty, Gentleness, Cleanliness and Looks.
When I was much younger my list of things I wanted in a guy started with Looks and went backwards. Now that I am older and wiser my list starts with Character and goes forward. Funny how things change as you grow up. m
2006-08-19 23:35:26 · answer #9 · answered by Mache 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why is it that people don't look beyond the looks.....and judge a person by their looks...
You're a very SHALLOW person...to have thought that the person that you say your friend isn't necessarily stopping traffic....WHO put you in charge of the attractive meter? You'll probably chose the good looking character---because SHALLOW people do that.....and then when MR. good looking turns out to be a toad.....you'll jump back into SHALLOW selfish mode and play with the NON-STOPPING TRAFFIC mode guy!
Immature...shallow ---selfish---insensitive ---"B" word for you!
2006-08-25 06:43:07 · answer #10 · answered by aunt_beeaa 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋