When sitting on the couch my husband will massage my leg or feet. I love getting massages, but sometimes he will go way up my leg or if i'm just laying there he will undo my shirt and unzip my skirt, and massage my back or lower stomach but then after a few minutes he just stops rolls over and continues watching tv, i like getting massages because i often am sore and have lower back pain, and I want him to continue. But it almost feels like my husband is trying to just get a good feel for a few mintues but doesn't really want to help me with my pain.....what is going on here? I end up with my shirt untied, skirt unzipped for just a few mintues of touching......any thought?
2006-08-19 15:47:37 · 20 answers · asked by dlmvm0612 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I've been married since 2000 and we're not planning to part anytime soon. I think your husband is using this light massage and gentle strip down as a lead up to sex. After a few minutes you don't respond (because you're enjoying the massage) so he abandons his mission thinking that you're not interested in having sex with him.
Now that you know how are you going to fix it?
2006-08-19 16:07:31 · answer #1 · answered by Mario 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the question I have for you is how are you responding to the attention? Are you letting him know you are enjoying it or are you sitting there like a bump on a log. I know for a fact, and in the past I have encountered a woman or two were just non responsive. However, when I stopped they were like "Hey why are you stopping?" As a man, if I don't get a response or sense that my advances are welcome, I just shut down. I don't know your situation so I don't know whether this applies to you or not but you may want to look into it. Another thing. Your husband isn't giving you massages to reduce your back pain, he wants to make love to you. Perhaps some of the others are right. Perhaps you are being selfish. Marriage is a give and take. Your husband can't be the one doing all the giving. Peace and God bless.
2006-08-19 16:11:27 · answer #2 · answered by cave man 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he's trying to get a little lovins, but when you just sit there expecting more and do nothing to invite him, he either gets mad or gives up and stops whatever it was he was doing. He is obviously trying to initiate something, so you should follow suit and go in for the kiss, the touch, unzip something of his, etc etc etc. I think you get the idea.
2006-08-19 16:04:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My girl friend says to stop bitching about it and give him a long message and explain this is what I need also. She doesn't see a problem with what he is doing. I agree with my girl. I sometimes do this my self with my girl friend. If I know that she is really hurting, than we go to the bed room where all of the clothes come off and I will give or be the recipient of a longer message depending on who is hurting.
2006-08-19 15:55:53 · answer #4 · answered by andy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's what you should do. Start massaging him, undo his shirt, his pants, massage him all over until you can tell he's turned on. Then stop and walk away.
2006-08-19 16:13:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you ask him what is going on? Tell him how this behavior makes you feel and what you would like him to do. Why don't you ask him if he is just trying to get a "good feel" for a few minutes and see what he says and how he reacts?
2006-08-19 16:15:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like me... do you respond at all? Any comments, purring, moaning, thank yous or anything or do you just lie there like a dead fish? If he's like me, he's looking for some kind of response and if he doesn't see any, he just gives up, tired of begging. I realize you're in pain, but it sounds like he wants more too. Do you talk? Maybe you should.
2006-08-20 02:20:23 · answer #7 · answered by Mike 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have heard of foreplay right. That is what he is doing. He is not thinking about your pain at all, he turning himself on for the next time the two of you are intimate. He is hoping you will get turned on to.
2006-08-20 02:46:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him when he is doing it how much you like it, and that it feels good, and then tell him that you want to take it into the bed room and finish it. maybe you can return the favor one day and turn the tables and give him one instead of you, I bet he would like it just as much as you do.. You never know where that could lead..
2006-08-19 15:55:28 · answer #9 · answered by Just Me 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wanna know where he is coming from try moaning during his touches, men dig a women that moans because it signals an approval, dont just receive the messages, respond to them, not with tiredness but with passion,,good luck
2006-08-19 15:58:16 · answer #10 · answered by tone284 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋