WICCANS!!!They found a new page to the Bible...?

Question

They recently discovered a smaller scroll hidden in the cylinder of the first scroll of the ancient Biblical scriptures, believed to be the actual "first page" of the Bible. When deciphered, it read:

"Copyright (c) 300 B.C. God. All Rights Reserved First Scrawling: First-Sunrise-After-Stonehenge-Keystone- Is-Shadowed, 300 B.C.

All beings, places and events depicted in this work are fictional, and any resemblance to actual beings, places and events past, present or future is purely coincidental.

WARNING: Some of the actions performed in this work are dangerous and should only be attempted by professionals familiar with the action in question.

NOTE: Those tiny points of light in the sky when it gets dark are called 'stars'. Some of them do blow up on occasion. In no way should this be construed as a sign that there is, beneath such an explosion, any form of saviour. Should such a misconstrual happen, the author will not be held responsible for the avalanche of arrogance, zeal, bigotry, humanocentricity and other vile acts which will surely follow the residents of the planet into time eternal until someone sees fit to erase the denizens of the world and let the author start over.

ISBN 0-000000-0000-1

Suggested retail: 1 sheep."

Answer 1

ROFL!!!!

Yes, the book should probably have come with a disclaimer from the Author to avoid the misunderstandings that naturally arise when small minded morons twist the text to suit themselves, add bizarre interpretations not justified by the actual words on the page, ignore the very clear warnings in the text that the text is not to be treated that way and then have the unmitigated gall to claim that their bizarre distortion is the literal meaning of what the text actually says.

Anyone who could say something so patently absurd does not understand the meaning of the words, "literal" and "actually."

Oh, well, their loss.

Respectfully submitted,
Adastra, the Wizzard of Jacksonville

Answer 2

Luke is a financial disaster in the recent testomony. there's a sparkling and previous testomony index on your Bible. Then sixteen is the financial disaster and the verses are 19-31. In my Bible that must be website 80 one-80 two yet each and each Bible may well be different finding on the version you have.

Answer 3

There was even a smaller scroll found just last night ...inside of a fortune cookie my girl got at the Jade Dragon restaurant !!

It said "you are SO good lookin'...but, not too bright."

My blonde girlfriend took offense immediately thinking it was referring to her long locks and said "that's the last time I use that shampoo!"

but I think there were much deeper inferences buried in that message..for the whole planet...Whew !

Answer 4

Are you trying to steal my heart? This is the funniest thing Ive heard all week. What is even funnier,no ones even telling you off! Oh wait is that because they are all in California praying to the chocolate virgin Mary? roflmao! bb

Answer 5

Matthew 5:11-12
"Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Answer 6

The 300 B.C. part gives it away though.

Answer 7

Groan! LOL Yer prolly gonna get a load of hate mail eh? (Not from me, I think it's funny but I'm not Christian either).

Answer 8

LMAO!!! I thought you were going to say that Wicca was the true religion. I like yours better.

Answer 9

LOL, that's a riot! Further evidence that God has a sense of humor. ;-)

Answer 10

Was this written in Aramaic or Greek.