he told me about how he used to do this or that for his ex and even made a cd of their favororite songs for her and took her to romantic places yet he had no plans for our aniversary
2006-08-19 15:27:50 · 23 answers · asked by chocolatesandbreakfast 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Perhaps it was unwise of your husband to tell you things he used to do with his ex; but the deed is done. Don't try to compare your relationship to his prior relationships - but do let him know that you would appreciate it if he made a special effort for your next anniversary.
2006-08-19 15:47:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm going through sort of the same thing, my husband still wrote letters to his ex up until a couple years ago and he made her a tape and talked about her constantly. I think I felt resentful because he still loved her. I finally told him it's either her or me and I think he got the message that he can only be in love with one woman at a time so be strong and tell him what you expect from him and if he doesn't want to give it to you then I think you deserve a whole lot better than him.
2006-08-19 15:43:06 · answer #2 · answered by sadmyles 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah. Been there done that.
Don't expect anything. It isn't worth it. You can't change him. You have a lifetime to go. He has plenty of time to change.
I resent my husband but most of the time I tell him. And sometimes he feels the same way with me and I didn't know it. When we talk about it we echo each other!
Let it go. Your life is short to haggle over a day. It could be worse. Count your blessings.
Get busy making him feel special without expecting anything and you will see sweetness come your way in turn.
2006-08-19 15:40:12 · answer #3 · answered by skept1c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just read over your question the answer is right there....you resent him because he talks about an old love. Anyone would feel hurt, i mean he married you but talks about another? Sometimes guys really don't get it, he may not realise that what he says hurts you. I would sit him down and tell him would you feel...and you mihgt want to consider this, he may just be talking and not doing this on purpose to you, BUT, he also may be missing the other woman unconsiously....tell him how you feel about the things he says, and ask him where he is ask him to be honest with you and tell him its ok. Good Luck, you should not hold this in...or it will affect other areas of your life in other ways.
2006-08-19 15:38:21 · answer #4 · answered by dlmvm0612 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that he told you all that stuff about his ex is something for you to be pissed about - especially since he doesn't do those special little things for you. Resentment isn't healthy for a marriage, so the best thing you can do is tell your husband how you feel and ask him how come he doesn't do special little things like that for you.
2006-08-19 15:31:44 · answer #5 · answered by Rawrrrr 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well firstly I think your husband is being very cruel and if it were me, I would remove myself from his presence when he starts talking about his ex, or just tell him, you are not interested. I feel he trying to give you doubt, or an inferior complex and if you continue to listen to this rubbish, you will end up with a complex, it almost sounds like your getting it now, so be strong, and tell him, you dont want to hear about his ex. If he continues to do this, I would be having a hard and long think about as to whether I would be staying with this man. He is playing "mind games" with you, why?, because you let him.
Stand up for yourself girl, and let him know he is offending you.
Good Luck
2006-08-19 15:36:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well that's mean and hurtful to say to you. That would make a lot of women feel resentful. He shouldn't be trying to make you feel like your not as worthy of being treated well as his ex. If she was so special, why isn't he with her? It sounds like he has low self-esteem and is a put down artist. That's an unloving thing he said to you.
2006-08-19 15:44:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
From my experience guys tend to get lazier as they get older, and it's not that "cool" for them to do all tht romantic stuff anymore. True, it's not cool that he has no plans for your anniversary, so I would definately try to find the root of that. Length of marriage makes a difference as well because that "spark" tends to fade after while. Start by sitting him down and let him know how you feel, and take it from there. good luck
2006-08-19 15:34:47 · answer #8 · answered by josh r 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'ld say that you have every reason to be resentful,hell that would make me mad myself. Have you even brought this matter to his attention? Maybe he doesn't even notice what he's doing? Who wanted the divorce between them (out of curiosity)? I think you should bring this to his attention, if he doesn't start making changes then maybe you should move on because he obviously hasn't.
2006-08-19 15:54:27 · answer #9 · answered by Angel B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because he's still in love with his ex and it is not fair to you that he is acting this way... And I know if his ex starts playing th emove on him, he will cheat more than less likely cheat, for he acts as though he still loves her... I'd say you need to talk to him about this, or in the long run it will destroy things between you.
2006-08-19 15:32:56 · answer #10 · answered by Rob D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋