Ok, here's how it is: I'm pregnant, and after going to the doctor's office I told my fiance that it'd be a good idea if we got health insurance. Right after that he snapped at me and said "No way, that means if somthing happened to me then you would get all my money" And I was like !!? Huh???? I still don't know if he was kidding or not!!
Guys, should I still go ahead and marry this guy?? We've been together for 8 years now, but I'm really having second thoughts after his responses like that :-(
2006-08-19 13:56:42 · 43 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you have made a date for the marriage, postpone it, and do not consider marrying him unless the two of you go through counselling in order to clear the air on that bizarre statement of his. To equate the need for health insurance with his demise and your getting all his money (how much is there, anyway?) is a serious lapse in logic.
Does he think that if he died you would not be entitled to it? How exactly does he see you?
Have you had any other clues as to some developing paranoia? It is hard to believe that someone would say this sort of thing out of the blue as it definitely is indicative of something being disconnected upstairs.
2006-08-19 14:01:00 · answer #1 · answered by kerangoumar 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Umm...I would break up with this guy on no other grounds except for that he isn't that bright. His response to your suggestion sounds like he got health insurance and life insurance confused; health insurance helps you pay for doctor appointments and hospitalization, and life insurance grants a specified person a certain amount of money upon the death of an individual. And it is ALWAYS a good idea to get health insurance; you never know what's going to happen, so better safe than sorry, right?
And even if he got the two confused, he shouldn't have wigged out. I mean, wouldn't he want you to be taken care of if anything should happen to him? And who else should inherit his money besides you? If he's going to snap at such a sage suggestion as yours (you should already have gotten health insurance, by the way) without even hearing you out, and you're not even married already, what is your marriage going to be like?
I don't think that you should break off the wedding just yet, though; talk it through with him, and make sure that he gets his terminology right. You're having a baby together, and you've been together for a really long time.
2006-08-19 14:09:50 · answer #2 · answered by quepie 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't know. You may have freaked him out re: the whole health insurance thing. Maybe he is not ready for that topic.
Personally if I were you, I would sit down with him and have a serious discussion on what you meant by bringing that up. Maybe that topic should of waited until after you got married.
BTW I am in Canada sowe have free health care here. Any health insurance we get is for extras i.e if we are travelling abroad or private rooms.
2006-08-19 14:04:02 · answer #3 · answered by Isis 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Health insurance is not life insurance. For him to claim you would get all his money also is a major red flag. Who would he want his money to go to if he died? If it is anyone but his wife and child you need to seriously contemplate ending this relationship. He is telling you that there are others who deserve his "money" more than his wife and child. Who gets the money upon death should be spelled out by a will. No will? Lots of time in probate and everybody gets a chunk. Even the cousin he hated usually will get a share. This definately needs to be resolved before you tie the knot. Good Luck!
2006-08-19 14:14:48 · answer #4 · answered by r0cky74 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
For one thing, health insurance just means you are covered for the hospital. Life insurance is the one where you would be left with some money. There are two things here. You are pregnant, and emotionally that can do some really wacky things to you, make you more sensitive to things, feel really emotional, etc.
I think you really need to sit down and find out what he was thinking when he said that. If he was serious, then I would say definitely think twice. Most husbands WANT their wives and children taken care of if something happens to them.
Anyway, I just think you need to sit down and have a heart to heart and find out what is really going on. good luck to you!!
2006-08-19 14:04:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
First off, don't act on a snap like that.
1) Communicate with him. Why does he feel like that? Where did he get the idea?
When I say communicate, I mean communicate. I mean talk like civilized adults in a calm, cool, collected manner without accusing or acting like a victim.
2) Problems like this aren't just going to go away with marriage. Marriage is going to be tough, and if this is a huge argument then just wait until your kid is sick with a high fever and vomitiing everywhere and both of you are out of sick days at work.
3) It's okay to go see a counselor. Talk about it and get professional advice. It's okay.
4) Don't do anythign rash right away. Sit on your decision, and talk it over with your fiance. Now there's a kid in the picture, do you really want to be without a husband? Now there's a kid in the picture, can you afford not being married?
However, don't get married for the sake of getting married or because it's best for the kid.
2006-08-19 14:03:08 · answer #6 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Explain to the miser that if you do not get health insurance now the cost of the delivery of the baby will be enormous. Then tell him that you also want him to get life insurance because if anything unfortunately does happen to him you will need money to support his child. If he bucks at this tell him good bye, see a lawyer and start child support proceedings now, so he can start payments the minute the baby is born.
2006-08-19 14:04:36 · answer #7 · answered by older woman 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i think he was just confused...
health insurance is so you and your kid are covered for medical things. i think he was thinking you meant LIFE insurance, because then if you are the beneficiary on his life insurance you would receive money if he died...
it still wouldn't make sense to why he blew up because once your married your entitled to 50% of his money anyway. also he has a baby on the way which mean hes partly responsible financially for it. so getting both insurances would be a very responsible thing to do for the future.
i think you should sit down with him and talk about these issues again. ask him if he knows what health and life insurance is and what kind of financial responsibilities you both have for one another.
you do need to have medical insurance for the baby one way or another. you can very easily get some through your local welfare office.
if he still doesn't understand his responsibilities with money and his soon to be born baby. i would think about leaving him and talking to a lawyer about child support.
2006-08-19 14:12:02 · answer #8 · answered by lusciousevil 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Okay so you've been together for 8 years. Is he only marrying you because you're pregnant? And is he so stupid that he does'nt realize that health insurance isn't life insurance? And if he's marrying you doesn't he realize what's his is yours and what yours is his anyway? I think you need to cancel the wedding. He has a responsibility to the child anyway. You're crazy if you go through with this.
2006-08-19 14:08:29 · answer #9 · answered by chi chi 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First of all, you get NO money if he dies through health insurance...that's life insurance he is thinking of. Secondly, what's he afraid of if you did? That'd you'd "off" him for money? What an immature dork. Plus, you really need to let him know that it costs somewhere around 30K to have a baby, and most doctors want 20% down at the begining of the pregnancy, so health insurance would be a good thing to have, unless ya got that kind of money lying around.
2006-08-19 14:03:00 · answer #10 · answered by Amanda K 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋