Do you think it's wrong for a women to have a baby after 40?

Question

I know this older women who is pregnant and she is 49 by the time she has her baby she will be 50. She is upset with me because I do not agree that she has a baby that old.. She said that I am negative and she does not want to talk to me anymore..

I feel bad because I was not trying to hurt her by telling her that it's wrong. She wants me to be more supportive and I am a honest person and I gave her my true opinion and she went nuts... Why would she asks me for my true opinion and get so uspet? Now we are not talking... What should I do? Thank You for reading....

Answer 1

A child who is loved and wanted is a blessing at any age ... as a friend you should be supportive... not lie about your feelings, but support her no matter what.

Answer 2

Giving people your true opinion in life is not always best. You must take people's feelings into consideration in all circumstances!!! Otherwise people will not like you and think that you are mean!

She knows how old she is. I'm sure she took that into account before deciding to have a baby. People have a right to be happy, you should have supported her and told her that you personally would not have the energy to be a mother at that age, but this is a choice she has to make and you will support her no matter what. That would be a true friend.

She has every right to be hurt and I would be too.

If you want her to be your friend again tell her that you are very sorry and you want to support her. Tell her that you spoke too quickly and feel that you don't think you would have a baby at that age. Tell her you will support her in her decision and you just want her to be happy.

Answer 3

If it was a planed then I think it was very wrong and if it were unexpected then I admire her for what she is doing.
I,m 48 and a grand mother we start to have medical problems and I,m a very patient and understanding person but the older we get the harder it is to do the things kids want and need it is a very demanding and a full time job and there is always the risk of not seeing it grow up.I think that maybe she didn,t like your answer because deep down she may feel the same way, you should say your sorry for hurting her feelings and be the best friend she could have because she,s gonna need all the love and support she can get.She,s your friend she,ll forgive you.

Answer 4

Given that she is pregnant right now, you need to be more considerate.
I am not saying that you shouldn't be honest and open, but that you could have chosen better words to say what you feel.

Maybe you should have had a more supportive approach to her question. Tell her what you heard about the risks that women her age face when having children at such an age. But let her know that she is going to be okay, and to have faith. Be positive when she needs to hear your opinion.
When you sound negative to her, of course she will be upset. Just because you didn't think it was a good idea, it was her choice and she is now with baby. So you have to show optimism.

Answer 5

I think it is ridiculously selfish to have a baby at that age.
When her baby graduates high school, she will be 68. From college, 72 (if she lives to be that age). When she starts to get grandchildren, she will probably be close to 80, if around at all.
You are going to tell me a 50 year old has the energy to raise a child the same way a 30 year old does? I highly doubt it.
If she asked for your opinion, well then, that is her problem. If she didn't want to hear it, she should have kept her mouth shut.
All you can do is tell her while you wouldn't have done the same in her position, it is her choice to make, and you will still support her and be her friend.

Answer 6

Not "wrong" necessarily but I don't agree with it personally or professionally. I absolutely wanted to be be done by age 35 and I was (just barely), that was my own personal goal as my husband is 8 yrs old than I as well and we want to have some of our "golden years" by ourselves!

Professionally, as I've said before, my older moms generally have more troubled pregnancies, more difficult labors, higher risks for genetic problems and are generally "high maintenance" types of patients and high strung types of moms. Some have gone through many IVF cycles and suffered from one thing or another throughout pregnancy, truth is pregnancy, labor, delivery, recovery and breastfeeding is a strain on a woman's body and it's managed better if you are young.

In the past, nature took care of this, women's fertility declines as we age. Most likely your friend at her age did not conceive naturally, most women can't at that age. Now, obviously not everyone meets their life partner at age 21, some people don't until later, or don't think they want kids, then change their mind, or they remarry when they are older and want to have a child with their new partner. All that is understandable, and again, I don't think it's "wrong" but I don't agree with it. Unfortunately our technology has made it possible for women to have babies in their 40's, 50's, even 60's now with donor eggs and I don't think it's a good development. But time marches on and so does science and doctors will continue to provide what their patients want (and will pay for)

Answer 7

I think if she wants it then good for her however I do think 50 is kind of old. 40's I can see because my mother is 42 and I can see her being able to raise a child however when you get in your 50's that is getting up there and not saying she will but most ppl die in there 60's-70's so she is taking the chance of what if she passes and her son is not yet 18 this is all stuff you have to consider and yes you can die and any age but I am just stating also when you get older you have less energy and they are not the easiest I mean I am 23 and my son is 3 months and I get so tired sometimes. But if she thinks that can do it good for her.

Answer 8

Despite your opinions right now someone that considered you a friend needed support she is probaly scared herself but she chose to have the baby and you should be supportive in her decision. If you didnt want to lie you could have always said things such as ''wow your brave for doing this at your age'' or ''Im glad to see your so happy'' there are lots of ways to be supportive even if you dont agree. My mom had brother at 48 he is now 20 she is, was, and always has been a wonderful mother. Her age was never a factor, she did all the things that she did with me 20 years prior. Instead of focusing on the negative focus on the miracle that she is creating. Please dont think I am trying to be harsh, but try to be more open minded.

Answer 9

There is nothing wrong with a women having a baby later in life. That is her decision. As long as she is aware of the risk and does what she is supposed to do. When someone is pregnant they want everyone to be happy for them no matter what. SO try really hard to be supportive. Why don't you think she should be having the baby?

Answer 10

You should tell her your sorry for hurting her feelings. She is already pregnant so it's not like she was asking you if you thought it would be a good idea to get pregnant. She most likely feels very insulted. She must be in good health to get pregnant at 49. My bosses wife just had a healthy beautiful baby and she is 45. Try and give her your support. She will need it.

Answer 11

i can inform you that I had my first toddler at particularly 20 and not that she's a mistake yet wow have been we no longer waiting for all of that...and then comes our 2nd toddler while i replaced into 27...i replaced into one in each and every of those greater clever mom at 27 than i replaced into at 20...i think of that a women human beings in her 30's has lived some and is often used with plenty greater beneficial than a 20 365 days old...as for no longer having the flexibility to maintain up...in case you have a sprint one at 40 then thats what you get used too...comparable to you will possibly in case you have been youthful...what I dont think of is honest to a toddler is having a mom that's 15 and pregnant with some guy that she wont be with in 6 months...has no interest and has in basic terms been able to be left on my own at abode for that final 5 years....thats whats unfair...