Am I the loneliest person in the world?

Question

I have been on my own all my life (suicidal mother, father who was too busy, and two sisters who contantly told me to go away...) My very ill mother, after neglecting and abusing me, mother moved out on me when I was sixteen... I never learned the social skills of getting along.

I live my life by trying to be good and kind, and would do whatever I could to help another if I am capable. I have been through so much, the worst of which was the loss of my precious baby boy to Sids, but the rest would take so long. I have always remained kind and trusting in spite of the not so nice things people have done to me. I don't own a cell phone or wear the latest fashions, I care about the world and thrive on learning. I have been told I am beautiful, compassionate, easy to talk to, etc. and yet I am so very lonely completely alone in the world. Apparently I am really missing the one thing it takes to be uh, hm, not be lonely.

I do not try to be nice because I want points, but because I believe it is the right thing to do and my conscience will not allow to do otherwise. I know what it is to suffer and could never intentionally inflict that on another.

And I am going to school, have volunteered many times, and have tried counseling, I said lonely, not depressed, you missed my point, I suck at making and keeping friends

Answer 1

Of course you are feeling like the loneliest person in the world because of the very things you have been told you are.Being beautiful,compassionate,easy to talk to etc, easily puts you out of interest of 94% of humans today. Greed,lust and not caring about a fellow soul is what we are about today.

Answer 2

hang in there and you will see a brighter future ahead. I know it is easier said than done but you are among the others who have had a rough life. If you are compassionate and loving, you will go far in this world. owning a cell phone and not wearing the latest fashions does not make the person. It is what is in side your heart and your great attitude. Living the life you have and are has made you a better person. Better than all the rich people .all they have is their money and what hey have bought with some of it . You have a wonderful attitude and you are a wonderful person. To be lonely happens to most of us but doing something about it is another thing you will have to conquer. You are not completely alone in this world. Losers are completely alone and you are not a loser. Time is the answer and the time will come for you to find true ever lasting happiness and love and you will never be alone again.

Answer 3

Hi
I really do not know how to answer your question. I read you question and had a few answers.
One we live in a increasingly isolates society where most of out waking time is spent both commuting to work and working.
A waste really . So meeting a person is difficult in real life why else the online dating sites. That I have learned are waste of money.
Some go to clubs dancing and such but alcohol fueled socializing is not really a good way to meet a person to share your life with . Then there are clubs and groups.
I hike and climb mountains and tired a few group hikes it was more like 7 guys hitting on 3 women !
So I gave that up I have tried on line dating, a waste of hard earned money. I do work very hard too at my own small business. Literally my work is physical so I am in very good shape. I do not need a gym. I have one. When I work .
I feel just as lonely as you do it is increasingly common so you are not so alone at being alone as the cliche goes or something like it . I have a lot of things I enjoy and I work to do them.
I can go into more but am a very private person. I would like to be your friend.
I would suggest getting a cell phone not to be inconstant contact but they a very good safety tool . and can save your life ! you can use Trac phone I or something like it if you do not want to go through the hassle of getting a cell phone with a contract they can be used any where and you can purchase time as you need it .

Loneliness is depressing and stressful, I know about that. r too.
It is not good for you at all.
Can I email you? You cannot email me from this. I
You sure have had it tough you are not alone in having it tough. You Do sound like a very good friend. Who could need a good friend
Ah Check your email I might as well say hello

Oh I wonder if any one can guess what the letters in my ID mean. I too have had a very tough life . I am more private about it thouh .

I just send you a email you might have mad a friend
I am on IM so you can chat with me also

Answer 4

Loneliness is like poverty or ill health: no matter how bad you think you have it, rest assured that there are PLENTY of people who are much, MUCH worse off than you. I realize that that's probably cold comfort to you, but it's true.

From your description it sounds like you'd make a terrific friend. And quite frankly, I think it's easier for a woman to make new friends than it is for a guy.

We all learn from experience. If you're not as good at conversation as you'd like to be, put yourself in a situation where conversational skills come into play. If you're shy, try working a service job such as retail where interacting with people is part of the job. You'll get good at doing this as a part of your job, and this will make it much easier to be less shy or a better conversationalist in your personal life.

If you're looking to meet new people, try volunteering at a charity, going to a church you feel comfortable in (if you're religious), or joining a community, grassroots, or political organization. You might want to avoid online chatrooms if you're looking for romance, though just plain friendship is OK. And you should probably avoid bars for either friendship or romance.

Finally, if I may make a more personal suggestion, it looks like you've gone through some really trying events with your parents and the loss of your son. You may want to seriously consider talking to a professional therapist about this stuff. They can help you to overcome the barriers these events may have put up which are preventing you from leading a more fulfilling life. If money's an issue, there are some community-based counselors which see and assist poor people on a "pay whatever you can afford to" basis. Some churches may also offer free or low-cost counseling.

I was sincere when I said that you sound like you'd make a great friend. Overcoming loneliness will require some effort on your part, but it is both possible and well worth it. Good luck!

Answer 5

Maybe you feel lonely but definitely not alone.
There are many out there who feel just like you.

Sounds like you really had a tough life. However, think of all the children in war zones, who lost everyone. Some not only lost all their family, but were forced to kill their own parents and brothers and sisters (Like between the hutus and tutsis).

The point to remember is that it's all relative. No matter how bad you have it, there is always someone, in this case millions, who have it far worse than you, and there is a time to be down, but also a time to put it in perspective and be thankful for all the things you do have, that millions don't.

Don't put yourself out there as a weak person. You are strong, because you have to be to live through all that and still stand and two legs. And what doesn't kill you, does make you stronger and wiser. You will be less superficial and have a richer personality than most people because of al these experiences.

You have lots of friends.. we just don't know where to find you.

Answer 6

You are not the loneliest person in the world, but I can certainly see why you might feel like it.

It sounds like you have overcome a lot. You should be proud of the person you have become when you rose above what was challenging you. I'd say you already have someone great to keep you company...yourself! :)

A book I really enjoyed reading, and I think other women could benefit from too, was "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldredge. It might loan you a very helpful perspective in analyzing these feelings you have. I wish you well!

Answer 7

The answer is definitely "no." You are experiencing the fallout of a neglected childhood during which, understandably, you focussed on what you did not have. You have emerged with a "victim mentality," a lack of self worth that feeds on itself. You need to understand that the childhood you described is commonplace. You need to start a new page is the life you are and will have lived. Start by not being a sponge for other people's problems and neediness. You say you "try to be good and kind..." but that is what is holding you back. You do not get points in this life for constantly doing for others as a means to gain self respect. You become a victim of another kind. You need to pick a project that you know you can succeed in, such as volunteering a few hours a week helping a single teenager sort through the crap in her life to find a place of serenity and sanity. You will learn much about yourself when you involve yourself in this kind of detective work. But do not burden others with the crap you experienced because we all have our own histories and yours is just another piece of drama. You say you "thrive" on learning. Then pick a realistic area of learning and get yourself on a career plane. If you do not make something of yourself and your life you will not succeed in banishing loneliness. Loneliness is an emotion our brains feed us when we feel sorry for ourselves. Finally, you say you have been "on my own" all your life. You should have learned many life skills, survival skills, if that is the case. However, if you, like so many, use the "freedom" to abandon all responsibility then you have a much harder road to travel. No matter what, wake up tomorrow and put on your shoes and put one foot before the other and take on the day.

Answer 8

I been there my self I promise you the best thing i did is to seek a good consular or a clinical therapist you wont be able to change your life around all in one day but the well point you in the right directing and make sure your following the path. its helped me a lot if no insurance talk to to places on the phone some states will pay for it if you are hard up for income.

Answer 9

Well , my dad left me when I was 1 year old, my mom is always busy my first boyfriend left me for a girl he met on the Internet, my second boyfriend decided to go out with my best-friend and I'm paying a phone without even using it because it never rings. : ) ( I'm 16 in my short life) writhe me ill be your friend : )

Answer 10

I have heard so many times, in this world you need to be selfish to win......

I don't care whether that is true - stay the nice person you are and you will find that path to happiness. Have faith in yourself and keep fighting !

The world needs more people like you !