r u married? please help I'm so frustrated!?

Question

I'm married to a foreing person, and sometimes I miss my nation and my own culture, my husband is nice and gentle but sometimes he becomes sarcastic and I hate it! then we argue and he brings things up that I said or did before... I a gree we should talk about argues in the past to learn how to solve them better but for me It would be good if he said it in other way and in toher situation, because I'm embarassed enough to have him telling me about it again.
but I feel that everytime we argue I miss my country more and more...please advice. I need good answers MATURE ones...my husband is 52 years old and I'm 26.... we both were never married before and don't have kids he has a very young and pure heart and spirit. Divorce is not a word that I'd like to concider as an answer.
thxs
blessings.

Answer 1

Hello,Faith.
You know in every marriage there will always be times wherein couple argues,discusses then they compromise.Reading your sentiment I can feel that you truly love your man and he deserves all the honor he can get if not from other people ,most certainly from you and that's pretty normal too.You chose to marry your man for a reason that's why you are holding into that value of matrimony of finding resolutions and not just quick-fix the matter concerned to the nearest escape route and file a divorce.A marriage is bound to resist all those storms and I can't agree with you more.Sometimes in our closeness we differ with our ideas but basically those principles are deeply founded that it's hard to just let go of something, someone that makes your dear heart happy.Rational thinking would make me conclude if I may, that you can absolutely reach your mans' line of thoughts and he can level up with you too practically same way.So in moments wherein you encounter those arguments I suggest that you have a heart-to-heart talk with him so he would be aware that you're taking it seriously and that having to drag all those past events won't help solve that arguments you're having but would just make that chain longer and heavier in load.Tell him honestly that you are his wife, not his child to reprimand and that it offends you to be treated like a little girl when you are both blowing on a flame for a heated discussion which isn't even worth that energy draining out from both of your bodies.Focus on the situation at hand and together find a solution today.Listen to him and make sure you let him hear your say too....a marriage is not about east camp,west camp nor is it a battle between who gets the north territory or rules the south ... it's about meeting midway and getting the reconciliation and peace pacts so you both get to see the globe as a whole.

"A shirt doesn't deserve to be in a trashbin because there's a stain in it."

Keep your faith and hold that love high always.Consider those arguments/constraints no matter how annoying they may be at times as exotic spices to your marriage.Express your thoughts blending his for added seasonings and you'll both be fine.

As for you missing your country,your family,people et cet era , a good rapport and a request coming from you wouldn't hinder your man from giving you approval I think so why not ask him when he's in good mood?Tell him your reasons so he'd think about those and re-consider.

As for socializing,why not ask around so you get a good network of good people to have as friends.For sure,there must be at least one out of many in your area...?

As for me being married,yes,I am married and got 2sons for blessings. :)

blessings to u & ur man too.

Answer 2

I think that your situation happens a lot, no matter the cultural background, its pretty common to hear that. I think that you should get some counseling (psychologist) to help you determine what can be done. Marriage counseling is a good thing to do, but if your husband doesn't want to try anything, I think that you might not be very happy with him, I just hope that you don't depend on him for everything, what I mean by this, do you have any skills that can get you a job in the future of a possible divorce? Is your family willing to help you in your situation? Try to find all the alternatives before making a decision. Looking for help is your best weapon, its a brave thing to do, sometimes we feel like we can handle everything and that's not true, sometimes we need outside help to manage our problems, and thats were family and professionals come in handy. Wish you luck.

Answer 3

I'm in the same situation - I was married 5 months ago and moved to my husband's country. From experience... there are a few things that you can do to "bring home to you" :

1) Reach out to other immigrants from your country. Are there cultural clubs that you can join, or places you can meet people who have immigrated at the same time as you ? It can be very comforting to be able to call a friend, and speak your native language when you are sad or homesick.

2) Find a bookstore / video library that carries books, movies, and music that you remember from your home country. I've been living abroad for months now, and the thing I miss the most are books.

3) See if you can find a food store that stocks your favorite munchies, and keep them around the house.

And finally, most importantly -

Talk with your husband about what you are going through. A lot of your arguments may be from the stress of adjusting to life in a new place. It sounds like you love each other very much - if you can help him understand what you need, I am sure he will help you and be patient.

Best of luck, good wishes, and blessings for a happy future in your new home!!

Answer 4

Try counseling, There is professional help available, and your age difference could be a reason why he's always sarcastic, he probably think your to young and don't know a lot! That could be a part of why u argue often. And go visit your family in your country just because your married doesn't mean u have to 4 get your country!

Answer 5

My husband is from mexico and we get along great. We have been to mexico several times. I have even been a few times without him. It sounds to me like you need a break from him. Maybe a little vacation to see your family. Explain to him that you don't like the way he talks to you and it makes you feel bad. If he can't change his ways just a little then that vacation will do you some good. Hey once you get there divorce might not sound like such a bad idea. The age difference is not an issue with me. My husband and I are 10 years apart.

Answer 6

I think both of you needs to go to a Marriage Counselor. You will not be afraid to say any of your problems when there's someone in between you and your husband. Both of you will learn how to approach each other without hurting each others feeling. I think your husband needs more of this kind of training than you do and I think Marriage Counseling is the only option that you need right now. So, if I were you i will go for it. Good luck.

Answer 7

American dreamer has given you precious pointers and a_sexualasianangel's point of age differrence is also a major part of a generation gap in thoughts between your relationship.
In your words, it seems to me that you're very much in to saving this relationship.
Why not you take the initiative step by controlling yourself not to engage in an arguement with him, let him blurt it all out without answering him back.
Choose the right moment, like when he is in a good mood or after sex, tell him softly how his words hurt you, and when the word, sorry, comes out of his mouth, cuddle him with a tear or two, this should melt or mellow him down if he is what you said he is.
Wish both of you a happy relationship.

Answer 8

Yes, I am married and have been for 10 years. My husband is from Australia and I am American. Do you get a chance to visit your country? I know my husband goes home to visit every year. I think the age gap with you and your husband may be a bit of a problem because even without him meaning to he probably feels he knows better since he is twice your age. Just try to keep the lines of communication open and talk calmly. Good Luck!

Answer 9

You should try marriage counselling. There's no shame in it, an it will help you communicate better, in ways that work for both of you.

Hugs!

Answer 10

being able to talk about anything and everything is the foundation of a good relationship.

try going to a counselor. thats a good start.
being in another country with different customs and heritages is difficult sometimes. he is about the only thing you think that you have there and when you fight, you want things that are comforting around you. thats why you get a little bit homesick when you fight because you feel alone.