if your bf wants an abortion?

Question

i dont want one bc im against it... its wrong to kill my poor little baby. the thing is he was thinking maybe we should abort it and i dont want to bc if i do i will definitely kill my damn self. ill give myself abortion too. the thing is i dont want to and i am force to getting one bc i love the guy but i kno imma kill myself before even getting one bc i had sex and i have to pay.. i shouldnt of had open my legs and so now i pay the price.* dont think bc i got pregnant by accident that i dont want my child nor love it... i do love my child and i want it when ever bc its mines and he/she deserves to live. also to i feel by having this child will show how strong i am for a 17 yr old. what shold i tell this guy in order to make him change his mind? and what would you do if you were in my situation??please i need advice..and by the way i do want to keep it if you think i dont..

Answer 1

Don't expect him to hang around if you decide to keep it.

Answer 2

I am disappointed to hear that he doesn't want you to have the child. I have to say that he's made his decision with regards to the child and, fair or unfair, that decision now rests with you. If you want to have the child, then he's probably gonna disappear and you'll be raising the child yourself (and hopefully finding a new guy). I do want to point this out to you: the choice you're about to make is a permanent one, and how will you feel if he still breaks up with you even after you abort the child? So whatever you do, make this decision for YOU, and not to keep him around. I'm sorry to see you in this situation at 17, because frankly it's way too young to have to make this kind of a decision. But since you are, I hope you really take the time to consider your options carefully, and whatever you choose, m ake sure it's a choice that you can live with (i.e. if you can't live with aborting your child, then don't and to hell with what the father thinks).

Answer 3

Working yourself into a suicidal state is not loving your baby, so cut that out right now. You were old enough to have sex and get pregnant, so now it's time to deal.

Yes, your state of mind affects your baby, right now.

Your choices are not limited to having an abortion or raising the child alone, or trying to make this guy stay against his will. If you did manage to "make" him stay, you'd be setting up a great statistical setting for domestic abuse, a nasty, miserable life for him and you and the baby. That's not love.

Consider adoption. Open adoption IS a possibility, so you would be able to remain part of the baby's life while still going on with yours. Your child would be placed with a family that's ready to raise a child and has a stable home ready for him or her. The sperm donor wouldn't need to be involved other than signing the adoption papers.

If y'all were having sex without birth control, you've both proven that you aren't ready to raise a child, because you don't have a reasonable amount of self-control or sense. If birth control was used, but failed, it would be extremely unfair of you to try to entrap the man into raising a child both of you clearly stated you didn't want when you used contraceptives before having sex! That breach of trust would set the two of you up for a horrific co-parenting relationship.

It is NOT fair to have a child to prove ANYTHING. That's nonsense. You want to prove how strong you are? Put the baby's needs first, and go for the adoption. Live an absolutely healthy, clean life for the next 9 months, doing exactly what your prenantal care provider tells you to do. Then sign that baby over to live with a family that's in a good position to raise him.

THAT'S strength.

Answer 4

if your bf wants an abortion? boys can't get abortions.

SO. What YOU DO WITH YOUR BODY is NONE of HIS BUSINESS! Lose the loser hun! NOW!

I am Pro-Choice, and YOUR CHOICE IS TO KEEP IT. SO KEEP IT! Hold your head up and don't think 2x about an abortion, its simply NOT AN OPTION "FOR YOU." That is NOTHING to be unhappy about, and YOU WILL ALWAYS HAVE SOMETHING OF HIS TO REMIND YOU OF HIM! Besides, once the child is born, "maybe" and I say "maybe" he will come around. But don't count on it. Also, expect to raise the child alone, without his financial aid. So, I would start looking for aid from the state government and if they ask who the father is, it is up to YOU whether or not to give it. If you do, they will most likely go after him for re-payments. If you don't, simply say your "not sure," and DON'T PUT HIM ON THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE. By putting him on the birth certificate you give him LEGAL RIGHTS to the child, including taking him for visitation and possibly disappearing with it.

#1. You have to "pay" for having sex. You already have.
#2. You feel you will show how strong you are. That's just nonesense.
#3. What can you do to make him change his mind? Umm, inherit a Million dollars before the baby's born? Other than that, good luck!
#4. What would I do? Adoption to a Family of YOUR CHOICE is always a great idea and the baby would get benefits that YOU COULD NOT GIVE IT, including a christian home, if that's what you wish. Give your baby true love AND A HEAD START!

Answer 5

Please don't let anyone hurt your baby. No man is worth the life of your child! Boyfriends come and go, unfortunately, but your baby is your baby forever, and she is depending on you, her mommy, for love and protection.

By trying to get you to abort your child, your boyfriend is proving what kind of guy he really is. Do you really want to be with someone who cares so little about your health and well-being and so little about his own child? I know that it hurts, but the hurt will pass and you will be glad that you did the right thing and saved your baby. It is will hurt SO much worse if you kill your child and then he is gone anyway and you are all alone. You will think, "I can't believe I killed my baby for him!" and you will not be able to get your baby back.

Now, your boyfriend may actually have some character underneath all this, and there is a chance that he will come around in the end. Either way, you will find out for sure what kind of a man he really is.

You do sound strong, and you know the difference between right and wrong, which is more than I can say for a lot of the people here. You can do this!!

I really recommend a site called Stand Up Girl (for pregnant teens). You can read the stories of other girls who have been in your exact situation and contact some of them, too. Here's the address:

http://www.standupgirl.com

Also, please go to a pregnancy care center near you for emotional support and for all the free, confidential help you need. They can give you referrals for financial, medical, legal, and housing assistance; free ultrasounds (at some centers); free maternity and baby supplies; and pregnancy, parenting, and adoption information. They are there to help. Please give them a chance to see what they can do for you. You can find a center near you here:

http://www.optionline.org/advantage.asp

or by calling 1-800-395-HELP

Please keep us posted, hon.

Answer 6

what ever choice you make you will have to live with for the rest of your life, and chances are you will not be with your current boyfriend for the of your life. You are only 17, you have the rest of your life ahead of you. There are alternitives to abortion, healthy ones. I got pregnant when I was 18 and in college, and we gave our baby up for adoption. She is now 5 and starting kindergarten. Adoption isnt what it used to be, it can really be almost anything you want...with or without communication with the adpotive parents. I chose the family I gave my baby girl to, they paid for all the attourney costs and medical costs. I know that it was the best, but hardest decisions of my life. I am not married and have a little girl of my own and and expecting a baby boy in December. There are also many government programs out there to help young mothers pay for medical costs. If you decided to keep the baby for yourself then you also have to check your feelings about where you want to go in life and what kind of mother you want to be. You are still young, and by becoming a mother you will be giving up a lot of "freedoms" that your peers "enjoy", and you must be willing to be a mother and not a teenager. Whatever choice you do make...do your research. If you still think that you want an abortion, check our this website http://www.silentscream.org

Answer 7

No one can force you to have an abortion. Your boyfriend is thinking about himself because if he was thinking about you he wouldn't even pursue the subject once he seen that you were against it. And by the way, where was he with the condom when you were having sex? It would have been a lot easier to take the time to put a condom on then to become a daddy.

You need to talk with someone right now. It doesn't matter if it's your parents, a relative, a school counselor, a religious leader, a crisis hotline, or a social worker. You need to work things out for yourself and your baby needs prenatal care.

Please get going and good luck!

Answer 8

Do not kill your baby!!! Tell him that you understand his fear and anxiety about having a baby but that it is against your morals and beliefs and you're not willing to have an abortion. Don't feel guilty for anything, either. It's perfectly normal to have sex and accidents happen. If he continues to be unsupportive, look for support in other places, family members, if you can, or good friends. Above all, do not feel suicidal. I've been in exactly the same rut as you, and I know how hard it is and how much it sucks. If you need someone to talk to, I'm here. email me at [e-mail] if you want to talk. I love you and BE STRONG. I know it's hard, but people DO care about you. You just have to talk to the right ones.

Answer 9

Well if you keep it he'll probably leave you with it to raise all by yourself. If you feel you're ready for that then go for it. But by ready I mean having a decent and steady job and a house for the kid to grow up in. Don't make a stupid decision. Abortions are relatively cheap but all the money in the world won't make up for a missing dad and a broken home for some poor kid. In my opinion - spare the kid and get an abortion, and practice safe sex from now on instead.

Answer 10

Well my advice to you is to keep the baby. This is a new life and has the right to live. You as the babies mom should do all you can to love and protect this child. As far as the father of this baby is concerned, you can do nothing to make him love this baby. You just need to love and respect yourself and this new life that God has blessed you with and pray for God to help you do what is right. Ask god to help you be the best mom you can be. If that is not an option then give it up for adoption to a loving couple who would love to have a baby and aren't able to.

Answer 11

Honey, Do what you feel you have to do..Keep your baby and tell your boyfriend that this is the decision you have made...When he becomes pregnant then he can have that right of wanting to do whatever with the child..This is your body and I commend you for standing up and saying that you had sex and now here is the consequences of your actions...There are people who can help you and you can go to your local health dept and get a medical card...Make sure you go and do this though and get a doctor...Do you have family that you can go to?Good Luck to you..You can email me if you like :)