14 yo daughter wants to go all the time?

Question

She stays with her friends like 3 nights a week. If we let her. Is this Normal for teens?

Shes with her best friends and their parents all go to church with us.

Answer 1

Yes, in fact, it is. Teenagers, who at the age of 15 are right in the middle of puberty, tend to need more space away from their parents to have some fun and a good laugh. I suggest you allow your daughter (if thats who you're talking about) to hang with friends at least 5 times a week as long as homework/chores are completed.

Answer 2

Does your daughter attend school, or is she homeschooled? I'd have to say that it's unusual for any schooled teens that I've ever known, but there's a lot more variety in the schdules of homeschooling families.

Do these girls stay at your house, as well? If not, that would be a warning signal to me. How much do you know about the households she's staying at? Have you met the parents and been inside the houses? Several times? Have they been to your home? Do you call to check on your daughter while she's there?

I'd be concerned about whether or not assignments were being completed and the girls were getting enough rest. I know it can be hard to go to sleep instead of staying up talking.

Of course, you know your daughter. How serious a student is she? How self-disciplined is she, in general? Is this a sudden change in her behavior? Have her grades gone down? Is she having attendance problems?

I was involved in a lot of different academic and extracurricular activities from middle school up, and because of all the practices (and living a long way away from school) I did end up spending an unusual number of nights away from home during the week. Certainly NOT every week, though, and not for social reasons!

Hopefully this made sense, and at least gave you an idea of the issues to look at as you make your decision about the boundaries in your family. Good luck!

Answer 3

Its normal.....however I think you are being very permissive in allowing her to spend the night 3 nights a week. But for a 14 year old they really just want to be with their friends, its about exerting her independence and feeling grown up. You should set a restriction, however, maybe let her spend the night 2-3 weekends a month for 2 nights in a row (as long as it isn't an imposition on her hosts) and only let her sleep over on weekends/non school nights

Answer 4

Hah ok. Everyone who is telling you that it's abnormal are guys so far. What does your wife, {Assuming you have one}, think about this? She's just a little girl, she loves her friends. And she wants to spend time with them. There's nothing wrong with that. She may be your little girl but don't be so paranoid. She's at the age where friends are everything and shes just looking to have some fun, make some inside jokes, and build a relationship. At fourteen is where you realise who your real friends are. You lose alot of friends and gain some too because fourteen is a dramatic age where everyone starts discovering themselves and eachother. She's just trying to hold onto her friends. I don't think you should allow her to spend the night with her friends on school nights though. Restrict sleepovers for fridays or saturdays.
And as far as the whole meth and guys things, you should check out the parents. At fourteen she's probably way too insecure to be fooling around with guys anyway and I'm sure you'd know if your daughter was on meth there are tons of obvious signs.
But if your daughter is going to the same house all the time then she may be wearing out her welcome. You should have her invite her friends over to your house for a sleepover.

Answer 5

There are two ways to look at this: first of all you are the only one who really knows your daughter....Now I'm 21 and growing up i had a best friend that lived 5 houses down from me, we practically lived at each others houses during the summer, its probably harmless they just enjoy each others company and are having fun. But, If she is more the rebellious type there may be something else behind her going out all the time and you should set a limit on when she can go out. (thats where the part of you knowing your daughter better than people on yahoo) If this wanting to go out is going on during school months I would recommend you keep that very limited because she is not going to concentrate on school and if you let her get away with going out when she is 14 it's going to be hard to set a limit on her nights out when she is older and more likely to get into some type of trouble.

Answer 6

My focus at 14 was on friends also. It's good that you let her have that time with them, it won't last forever and it probably makes her feel good about herself that she has good friends that want to spend a lot of time with her. But it's normal for her to want a little independence. Don't worry, I think you are doing the right thing. When I was that age my parents never let me do anything with my friends and I gotta tell ya, I didn't end up to be the best teenager in the world!

Answer 7

she's 14, she wants to go out and have fun. Atleast you know that she isn't doing anything wrong. I mean she is going to find a way to go out and have fun whether she i allowed or not. So if you know she is somewhere safe that she isnt doing anything wrong, i think that is the best thing for her. I know what i am talking about i am almost 16. I had that problem too. My parents didn't like me being gone all the time when i was hanging out with my friends that they knew at their house. But when they decided that they wanted me home more, I found ways to go out and do fun things without them knowing. And some of the things that i was tempted to do were things that they wouldn't approve of.

Answer 8

im like the same age of you daugher. im not allowed to spend that much time with friends. we need space from our parents but you also have to have "family time". Don't let her spend school nights at friends house. She needs to be home and get her homework done on school nights..going to a friends house to study is fine. when she comes home from a friends house ask her what she did and even though she probably doesnt want to talk to you, sit her down and talk about her friends and stuff. You need to know what she does when she goes to friends houses, contact their parents because if she spending that much time at someones house, she just might be doing something bad. she should still spend time with her friends but maybe not like spending the night 3 days a week. At this age we need friends.

Answer 9

Well I know when I was a teen I wasnt aloud to stay at friends houses on school nights..You need to lay down some ground rules and tell her that she is not aloud to stay on school nights but weekend may be ok as long as he does her chores(if any)...14 years old is too young to be spending 3 nights a week with friends...She needs to be with her family!
Good Luck :)

Answer 10

Fourteen is a normal age to begin to socialize with friends and to form bonds that grow into lasting relationships; it is also an age at which one may be easily taken advantage of from an emotional and physical perspective. Find out where she is 'actually' going, who her friends are, know their parents (if possibly--socially), and have a list of telephone numbers posted on the refrigerator for quick reference. You, as parents, have a fiduciary responsibility for the safety and well-being of your child. If they get into trouble, you are held accountable until they are age 18 or older (depending upon their mental capacity to comprehend and respond to their environments). Often times, adventures with people with only a couple years difference in age; yet, with unrealistic expectations of the value of their 'fiend'ship...could lead to a compromise of her integrity, as well as, a breech of her innocence.

Encourage the church to develop some evening activities for children with supervision by 'cool' yet responsible members of the church. Videos, sports, and other social activities can prevent teens becoming involved in illegal activities out of the 'union' that is created when people decide to 'get something' on someone else in order to seal the bond with a threat of revealing them to authorities if they do or say anything that the 'fiend' has talked them into experimenting with...

nuf said...