Wanted? A geniuine, honest female for friendship?

Question

If your out there, and do exist. then leave a message As I am sick of having shitty mates that let me down and lie out of there back teeth. or am I so paranoid and dont trust anyone nomore. Are you like this?

Answer 1

You are not alone - honest! All the way through school, I let my so-called mates walk all over me and that went on until I was in my twenties! I am now in my thirties and am very guarded. My husband is the same. We have a lot of aquantances but few people whom I would trust enough to class as friends. Unfortunately, it doesn't pay to be 'nice'. You may have to toughen up and speak your mind - sometimes it works like a charm and others it backfires miserably, but believe me, you will find out who really is your friend and who you do not need in your life. A true friend will be there for you in any circumstances, night or day and not ask questions (unless they need to be asked!). They will tell you when you are being a muppet and concede when you are right. They will stick up for you (even when you are wrong). These people do exist, but unfortunately they are few and far between, so when you find someone who fits the description, cherish them (and elbow the rest!!).

Answer 2

I think it's really sad to see a question like this, because I think so many girls feel the same way. As little kids, there is so much emphasis on female friendship and "best friends" - I think most girls go through a period of shock and anger when they run into backstabbing, female bullying, and shallow petty fighting.

The fact is, we're taught a lot of things as kids that are based on a world that doesn't exist. And a lot of growing up is based on realizing what the world is really like, and trying to understand it - and hopefully change it.

For starters, I personally think that girls are taught to be insecure about themselves, and that being insecure is what leads to a lot of the problems in female friendship. I mean, if you take a bunch of girls, and:

+ tell them from day one to always worry about their bodies & what everyone else thinks of them, so that they can't get a real strong sense of self-worth on their own terms
+ give them a bunch of Disney princess movies in which the female characters never have female friends (just male lovers) so that fighting over boys comes naturally
+ tell them that being aggressive isn't good for females (even though it's natural) so that they resort to doing it secretively & behind each other's backs...

Well, basically, it doesn't surprise me!

In other words, I think we're raised to compete and resent each other instead of having a real 'sisterhood' with each other - and I think we're raised with the idea that being direct, honest, & confrontational is for boys - and that we should be "polite" and "nice" and "quiet" - which is why we turn to things like horrible gossip or quiet backstabbing.

I've had so many struggles trying to find female friends that don't go for all that - and to be honest, it never totally ends. Sometimes all you can do is wait and hope that more girls your age will get us frustrated as you are. Please don't give up - there are other girls out there who feel just as alone, and who are just as hungry for other females they can trust.

Anyway, here's some movies, books, and websites you can check out that I hope will make you feel less isolated and alone:

http://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/0156027348/sr=1-1/qid=1156025978/ref=sr_1_1/702-3310083-3632855?ie=UTF8&s=books

http://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/0156028158/sr=1-2/qid=1156025978/ref=sr_1_2/702-3310083-3632855?ie=UTF8&s=books

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000BYA5GY/002-4339466-8928861?v=glance&n=130

http://www.teachersandfamilies.com/open/parent/ra2.cfm

http://www.hardygirlshealthywomen.org/docs/girlfighting_paper.doc

http://www.pioneerthinking.com/ara-meangirls.html

I wish you the best of luck...stay strong & don't lose hope.

Answer 3

I think I'm capable of being a genuine honest female,and like you I'm sick of all the back stabbers and no you are defiantly are not paranoid. And yes I've been like that myself.

Answer 4

I think that you need to properly decide what you want out of life. i have friends who don't share the same interests and have let me down so i decided to start doing things on my own.

True it gets lonely but i only disappointment myself and then later i complain to those who really couldn't care less. Don't live your life for other people because you will never make them happy and you will never get the gratitude that you want or feel that you deserve.

if despite everything you still like your friends and they make good company, good for you. depend on yourself, not them. Good luck.

Answer 5

i think i could do with the same for reasons different than yours. my best friends at the moment are my two beautiful children i spend all my time with. 2 and 3 mts.contact me if you like and tell me about you. how about you set up a group in yahoo messenger and invite everyone that ans your Q to join in.except joe. sorry joe

Answer 6

hello, i am always available for friendship. I am female, 26, and i can be brutally honest. I dont see the point of lying to anyone about anything. anyways [e-mail]

Answer 7

I know how you feel, they say they'll meet you then aren't available, say they will call, then don't. It's really sad, i am lucky i do have alot of very good friends, but some of them are always busy with their own lives, which is great but still quite sad.

Answer 8

I am here, I think you can message me if you click on my 360 page.xx

Answer 9

yes I am so totally sick of being stabbed in the back by my so-called-friends!!

Answer 10

your not paranoid its just like you said your through meeting guys that arent what you expect.