I have suffered really bad back ache for about 3 years now, and i think a good massage will do me some good. How can i get my hubby to give me one! He never does he always says i will do yours if you do mine first! This i do and within 5 minutes hes asleep, then the next night i say my turn first, but then he just says "you never give me one" Its driving me crazy! Any ideas on how to get him to give me a nice massage without him moaning
2006-08-19 10:34:08 · 16 answers · asked by noone 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Where in my question did i say that i had pimples on my back? I suffer bad back because when i was in labour with our first child i had to be given an epidural ( back aches are the side affects! )
2006-08-19 10:51:16 · update #1
Well you can stop cooking supper, or cleaning the house, or having sex until you get that backrub!
2006-08-19 10:41:32 · answer #1 · answered by Iron Rider 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you can't look to your spouse for all your needs to be met - you will always be dissatisfied and think you have a bad marraige - which is bad and leads to divorce and stuff like that. So, you have to find a way to get your needs met a different way if he does not have it to give to you.
My first thought was to tell you'll find someone else to do it (like another guy) but, he might think that's a good idea and be off the hook.
My second thought is that you should just get the money together and go get an hour massage and every time you have a birthday, mother's day, Christmas, aniversary, or what ever time you get gifts, ask everyone to pitch in so you can go get a professional massage.
hope you feel better...
2006-08-19 10:46:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My second husband used to give me massages all the time in the beginning. Then somehow it became a chore. Even though I rarely asked him.
Whenever he ask you for something, no matter what it is. You most likely do it because you love him and want to see him comfortable. When you are asked to one of these special things, remind him softly that you are doing it because you like to touch him and make him feel good. Maybe he'll get the hint.
If not get a membership to a spa. When he freaks out over the bill. Explain that you are hurting and didn't want to trouble him by asking him for the massage.
2006-08-19 10:45:11 · answer #3 · answered by Balou 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say the "do me first " thing has got to end. Try getting everything set up, oil towels hot pack ,whatever you like. I.E make it easy. Fair is fair nows the time. As a back up plan bribery works good too! Baked goods or some kind of special treat.
2006-08-19 10:53:55 · answer #4 · answered by foxyraley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is being selfish so you do the same! Go get your massage and when he wants one tell him where you go for yours. Or you can sign up for a couples class so each of you can do something together and improve the relationship at the same time and get the benefits from the class sounds like a win-win
2006-08-20 02:55:37 · answer #5 · answered by chancesare45 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a shame he is like that. The more I am on here the more fortunate I see I am. Anyhow, if he refuses, spend the money and go get a professional one. However, he is your husband and he is supposed to take care of you. You may try guilting him and tell him your back got bad like this from having his child! Good Luck!
2006-08-19 11:05:41 · answer #6 · answered by AsianPersuasion :) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go pay for one. Or you could buy one of those chair-cover-thing-a-ma-bobs for an automated massage. I buy massages for my hubby, and we have a massaging recliner. Sometimes we go get massages together. I don't like to give them because they make my hands hurt.
Three years is WAY to long to be waiting for him to give you such a small gratification. Take your happiness on your terms.
2006-08-19 11:07:46 · answer #7 · answered by theinfalliblenena 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea, hire one. LOL. Maybe he will want to do for you and make it good if he knows it will save him money, lol!
Also, some places (like hospitals) offer couples massage classes. You should look into that. Maybe that will help him get into it.
Also, make him do your first, lol!
2006-08-19 10:40:50 · answer #8 · answered by Dominika 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Apparently your husband just isn't that nice. Maybe he'd feel more motivated if you asked for the money to go get one from someone else since he can't be bothered.
2006-08-19 10:40:47 · answer #9 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lalalalalalallalalalalalalalal... wad a lack of curiosity?.. y dun u ask me WHY i hate em?
just because i am a 20 year old does NOT mean i do not have a reasonable reason.
2006-08-19 10:34:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋