About a year ago my wife and I decided to move out of state.. we spent almost 4g to do it and one of the main driving forces in the decision is that her parents lived where we were moving to.
About a month and a half after getting where we were going she got mad and left me.. we hadnt had the best marriage but far from the worst. I said and did some really horrible things to her but she did the same. so now I live a thousand miles away from everything ive ever known.. her parents (The only people I know in the area) wont have anything to do with me.. she moved back to the state we came from..left me with all the debt and bills.. and is telling me its over. What are the chances that a marriage in this condition might have a chance of being restored? I was supposed to go to counseling and all that which I never did.. only after she really left have I taken that seriously. I want to know what I should do to get her to change her mind and come home. This is so incredibly lonely.. HELP!!!!
2006-08-19 09:58:02 · 7 answers · asked by althor989 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well that really sucks, I 've been there. The only thing I can tell you is to go through the courts and make sure she legally has to pay off have of the debts you have aquirred and move on with your life. Rediscover what makes you, you. I moved 3,000miles for my husband(so he could try and get custody of his son) and we were married for three years. Then he got really bad off on meth ,and I divorced him. When he needed my support the most I ditched him because I couldn't handle it. I jumped into a serious relationship shortly after the divorce and he dated a lot. I started going to church and started to have bible study with him over the phone just sharing scriptures, nothing fancey. (and he wasn't the type to be open to that before)I found myself finding reasons to go see him. It was then that I realized I couldn't love my boyfriend like I love my husband.He had almost given up. We were apart for about 8months. He's cleaned up his life and we got remarried July21st,2006. I moved back to california and he will be joining me in October. He realized what he lost and so did I. It takes time to fall apart and it takes time to heal. The hardest thing to over come it to let go of the past, when you get in argument, don't say" well at least I didn't do this or that like you did". It only makes things worse. Best of luck and stay strong. If it's meant to be things will work out.
2006-08-19 10:35:42 · answer #1 · answered by spiffymo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First things first. It doesn't matter who did what to whom. It takes 100% on each person's part to make a marriage work. Every once in awhile we are going to do or say something wrong. Apologize and be sincere about it. As far as what you can do to get her back? Ask her! She is the one that knows what she wants. If she wants you to get counseling, start it before she has to ask. You cannot make someone come back with words. You have to take actions. She may also need to seek some conseling. You both need to get to the true reason of why she left and go from there to correct it. I hope things work out for you.
2006-08-19 17:15:55 · answer #2 · answered by Gary 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was me I'd leave the town. One thing there is no one that you know there that is willing to talk to and another thing is that there are too many memories that are left in your head. Pick up your things and leave the place start a new life. Forget about her. If you were actually happy with the marriage from the first place I'd say go after her but you aren't and I think you should forget about her. She left to fend for yourself and I think that you should just that thing. As for going back to the place you came from, I say forget travel somewhere else meet new people and live a happier life!
:-)
2006-08-19 17:11:55 · answer #3 · answered by dolphinsrus91 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to her. dont lay down any type of guilt trip but yet dont kiss her a*ss. It seems to me that if you both loved each other you might have a good chance of restoreing the marraige. talk to her and try to forgive each other. I would wait a while she might come back any way. until then take care and good luck.
2006-08-19 17:08:36 · answer #4 · answered by Crimson_Skies 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i'd leave town for one. Go back to where you wanted to be in the first place.
Call you family, they will help get you on your feet again.
Go to councelling for yourself.
Once you're on your feet, have your head on straight, try talking to her, if she's not receptive to it, it's done and over. Move on and start your life anew.
2006-08-19 17:16:05 · answer #5 · answered by Val 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
now is the perfect time to start counseling! If you can't afford it and there isn't a college close whose counseling program you could use then try a "liberal" church, not a fundamental one.
2006-08-19 17:06:55 · answer #6 · answered by carol k 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she had this planned from the get go. you soung like a lazy husband. your fault sorry.
2006-08-19 17:03:57 · answer #7 · answered by leaves_of_autumn171311 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋