I have a 15 passenger van that I bought for a specific reason. I once volunteered to drive my neighbor and her kids and their friends to a community event. After all, I was going anyway. Now anytime her kids want to go somewhere, she just assumes I will take them. The van gets about 10 miles to the gallon and at almost $3 a gallon, that doesn't go far. I told her the last time that she would have to pay for the gas. She didn't like it, which I had hoped she wouldn't. But it didn't deter her. It is inconvenient and intrusive. Should I be selfish and simply say no to her from now on?
2006-08-19 09:46:41 · 4 answers · asked by Emm 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
For you to say no would not be selfish. She is being extremely selfish and is using you. Just say no... you don't even need to give a reason.
2006-08-19 09:57:24 · answer #1 · answered by Elvendra 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes in life we have to be selfish to keep our own sanity. I was in a similar situation when a neighbor would always ask me to take her or her kids somewhere. If I was already going then it wasnt a problem but if I wasnt then I felt like she expected me to do it anyways because I had done it one time before. After a while it became a real inconvience and I had to tell her no and that still did not deter her so I had to get stern and the only thing that I found that finally made her stop was I actually put a sign on my door that read... I am not a taxi I cannot take people places all the time and I cannot afford the gas that it takes to do this on my own. If I feel like going some place and you need to go then you will have to come up with gas money to get you there and get you home... I know that that probably sounds mean but that is the position that she put me in. Maybe by just talking to her and expaining things will work for her but sometimes that just doesnt work. So you have to find your own way. That does not mean that you are selfish that means that you are adult enough to set limits and to stick to them.
2006-08-19 17:22:05 · answer #2 · answered by lvb524 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Would be good if about 2/3 or 3/4 of the times that she asks you to drive her kids someplace, you have a prior commitment and just can't do it. ;-{ You are not being selfish to say no - she's the one who's imposing unfairly on you.
She's way out of line to expect you to cart her kids around, especially if you aren't already going the same place as they are. Asking her to pay for gas is fair enough - if she didn't like it, too bad. Obviously she doesn't take hints too easily. Maybe if you're just not available, she'll figure it out.
2006-08-19 16:57:15 · answer #3 · answered by Judy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok it is YOUR van you make the payments YOU pay the gas. Just flat out tell her no cuz it seems to me she is just using you. Did she ask for any favors of you before the van came into the picture? Has she reciprocated in kind by helping you out in any way? If the answers are no then tell her NO.
2006-08-19 16:53:22 · answer #4 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋