Well I want the official title. I was with my bf/fiance for 6 1/2 yrs. he finally asked me to marry him. Well When we first moved in together i did everything . cook,clean,laundry,work,school etc. well he tried to talk to another female but i found out and we broke up for a while. we then got together but was then livin at his mom. that became stressful so I moved with my folks(out of state) well I guess we wasnt dating again so he was talking to other woman. he asked me to come back. then I moved back a few months later after he got a place. He proposed on christmas. Things was good til he wanted to spend time with his boys cuz he was deploying . He made me feel worthless and even though I did everything in our first place i figured he took me for granted so I said I wouldnt do it til we were married. But because he asked me to marry him I started to do everything again. He did the same thing to me once again. But I felt before he could leave me. I found out he was messing with a irl he worked with now they are training together and willbe deployed together too. It really bothers me. I told him this but he ask me to trust him. Do I trust him or say forget it and move on.
2006-08-19 09:28:41 · 11 answers · asked by poohbeark19 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Well he did propose to me after 3yrs but I told him no. And we been together for over 6yrs. We had 4 really good yrs and the last 2 havent been all that great. Could all this be because of the deployment or is it just him?
2006-08-19 10:06:06 · update #1
I would simply tell him to forget it. I know you love him and you would do everything for him, but I will tell you this; if he treats you like this now, it will be the same or worse upon being married. I am about to join the army, I know now that I do not want to be in a real deep relationship before I go, for if I am, it will be difficult. I always want to be there for the one I love, but I know that I will not be able to be there for her or treat her the way she needs to be treated while I am away. If the relationship has been going on for years, then maybe, but not a new one. I believe he is using you as a backup for when these other girls leave him or when he gets tired of them. You are the person he goes to when he has nobody else. Leave him...take pride in yourself and find someone that will treat you the way you need to be treated.
2006-08-19 09:39:12 · answer #1 · answered by Rpmonarch 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Read this story yourself and figure out what the problem really is. I'll give you a hint ITS YOU! You teach people how to treat you and you have taught this guy that he can walk all over you and cheat and you'll still stick around. Your first clue should have been 6 1/2 years without a proposal! If you marry this guy you are a fool. I think its time you started using your brain here. He has shown you who he is, clearly and repeatedly so what are you still doing with him? Anything you put up with AFTER someone shows you their character is on YOU because you weren't smart enough to bail when their behavior showed you clearly that you should have. When you stay with someone after that you teach them thats its really ok with you if they do it, you'll stick around anyway. You need to sit down and write out what your definition of being loved is...does this guy fit the profile? NO! So there is your answer. You have to figure out what YOU want from life, are you getting it from this guy? NO! So there is another answer. Then ask yourself why you are really with him because its nothing but a big old waste of time and thats the one thing in life you can never get back. Yes you have a few years in it, but the only thing worse than that is having 8 or 9 or 12 years in a relationship that isn't what you want and thats really what you are saying here, this guy and this relationship are not giving me what I want in life, what should I do? The answer is find another guy and another relationship!
2006-08-19 09:38:40 · answer #2 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy is very smart. He used you like a cook, maid and a hooker. He never had to pay you. Because he knows how stupid you are. Why buy the cow, when you get the milk for free. I say you keep on being his door mat. Because you like it that way. Some girls are like dogs. Give them a scrap every now and then and watch them wiggle their ***. Some girls like bad boys. That's why you have to come and ask strangers what you already know. You like the abuse.
2006-08-19 09:57:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to your gut feelings and i take it that you two are not married and if i'm correct this is good. This guy have raised so many ( Red Flags ) showing you that he is not ready yet to have a serious relationship with you.
The choice is yours to make to stay with him and he is messing around with some one else, or call it a day.
2006-08-19 10:05:01 · answer #4 · answered by Premio 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your intuition is already telling you what to do. In cases like these you have to figure out who is more important....you or him. If you are unhappy than you are choosing him. You have to do whats best for you. When you are grown you have to look out for yourself. Life is way to short to dwell on an already answered problem. You have to work up the courage to be honest with yourself. After that....weigh out the pros and cons of leaving. Once you are absolutely confident with your decision....you will be ready to do what you gotta do.
2006-08-19 09:37:21 · answer #5 · answered by Katora S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i call it residing with the aid of Murphy's regulation. so yeah you get used to it relatively is going to actual. you stop searching for romance in each and every of the incorrect locations as you wisen up and be sure the place those pit falls lay. on occasion you ought to cut back your losses, learn from the errors made, and initiate throughout returned a miles better, wiser individual. welcome to life, it relatively is going to knock you down, twist you up, and in case you enable it supply you extra happiness than you think of you heart can carry. it relatively is the experience and the unknown music. appreciate it and stay it. there is often day after today if on the instant is bust.
2016-10-02 07:17:10 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be able to answer this question by yourself. This guy is a loser and you don't need him. You need somebody that is worthwhile and someone that will meet you half way. You should move on and get on with your life. Good luck
2006-08-19 10:04:34 · answer #7 · answered by Gez 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marry him and then hope his dumbass bites a bullet overseas, then you are set for life. Sounds like he is way beneath you, but you could always just screw around on him while he is gone too.
2006-08-19 09:33:26 · answer #8 · answered by Niche Jerk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get moving!
2006-08-19 09:34:09 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why are you so willing to settle for his B S how can you trust him and why would you trust him. let him go. you deserve so much better
2006-08-19 09:34:34 · answer #10 · answered by bigmama 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋