My son wants to marry a girl, who isn't normal !?

Question

Is there any way I can convince my son that he is making the biggest mistake of his life. He wants to marry a woman who never leaves the house; with exception of visitng her own family.
We are a very active family and do so many things together. Our oldest son is never there, and hardly ever visits us, because of this woman. She can be very nice, and they seem to get along well, but she can't be normal. She won't even be able to bring her future children to the doctor or to kindergarten because of this! Its crazy !

Of course you are all right. I can't help my feelings of disapointment, though. I've never had any disputes with my future DIL, I've done all that; baking cakes, visitng her, trying to understand her...but as one of you said, apparantly it's an illness. I'm not trying to stop my son, he has all my blessings...it just makes me sad, and it's hard to understand. He won't be doing all those things that he grew up with,. Those family barbeques, going to the beach, museums, bike riding and on and on...he won't have any of that as a family.

Answer 1

Tell him he will have to put in alot more effort into this marriage because his wife is not normal. He might be put off by her behavior after marriage , then it will be even messier.

Answer 2

It's not crazy its a phobia and it is possible for her to get over it with lots of work and help. Or does she just not care to be around you and your family? There really isn't enough information here about why she behaves this way to say one way or the other. Some people prefer being at home, other people and places are not what makes everyone happy. If she stays home because she has a phobia then that can be helped. If she stays home because she isn't a social butterfly and prefers being home then all that means is that she has a different point of view than you do and that doesn't make her abnormal. And by the way, I have had 3 bouts with this in my life, its is a horrifying feeling and very difficult to overcome but it can be done. How about not judging what you don't understand? Apparently your son is a better person than you are!

I agree with totallylost on everything she said too!

Answer 3

Mom, hold on before you run your son off completely. I have 2 kids, one is married. You can't run your children's lives. You just to stand by their side and then ready to help pick up the peices if they make a mistake. Have you even tried to understand this woman has a illness. People suffer from this, she's not crazy, she's sick.
I want to reread your statement. Do you hear all that anger? You might have all ready ruin your relationship with your son. When did stop coming around, before he started talking about this woman or after you started complaining. I don't want to hurt your feelings, but Honey, you are making a mistake. So, are willing to pay the price if can't come to terms with her.
Why talk to her about her illness! Find out her limitations on when she can leave home. Maybe if she feels comfortable with you and your family, she will be able to visit with you in your home. Why can't you go visit with the couple at her place? Or at her family home. Make a cake and ask her if you could come over for coffee, and sit with her and talk about you can do for her. Not what she can't do for you! Did you raise your son right? Then this woman must be something so special he's willing to deal with all their limitations. Don't you think your son has addressed all your concerns? If he's willing and waits to be with her, then help him. Don't make things worse by pulling at him. Help your son! Help him by accepting his decision, and why can't Daddy take the child to the doctor or kindergarden. Maybe with your son's love, and the support of another family, she can overcome this diease.
Please, Mom don't make him choose! You might not like his choice. Please help him, and if doesn't work then be there to pick him, without I told you so on your lips.........
God bless us all............

Answer 4

there's some issues right here. One. basically because a woman performs video games, photo videos, events 4-wheeling, capturing guns, and getting dirty, dose no longer mean there is something incorrect which includes her. females can do something boys can do and they ought to not be wondered about it. He you're son loves her for who she is it truly is tremendous. This lady isn't some pretend, attempt-perplexing, wannabe, she is her own individual. in the journey that your son can include it, so might want to you. it would want to be intimidating being around the mum of a boyfriend. noticeably for a gentle lady. 2. The sex aspect, first it really is tremendous that you're taking the right steps along with your son and his female friend to make positive they stay healthful, and secure, and faraway from an undesirable being pregnant. yet you're husband speaking on your son about diverse positions, might want to be breaking some form of make certain-peer boundary that likely might want to no longer be damaged. 3. i imagine it really is tremendous that your son has some one particular in his existence he has comprehend for thus long, and she dose a number of those aspect the position they could bond and save there relationship good, yet in the journey that they plan to get married at 18, it quite is likely too quickly. i'm no longer saying they ought to split, yet there is so a lot more desirable to imagine about, like seeing the international, and getting a sturdy job and coaching. in the journey that your son thinks he got here upon the single, fantastic, yet do not commence telling him that there different females accessible, because he likely gained't listen. in any respect. also, i hit upon it sort of off that this females mum and dad are "delighted" that there teenage daughter is engaged. in the journey that your son is satisfied, try to be too. do not attempt to rigidity him to be at liberty with somebody else. each little thing occurs ultimately. No she dose no longer do to many "guy issues". i imagine you're stereotyping her slightly there. There basically pursuits. to each and each there own, precise? and there is no longer something incorrect with it. there is likely no deep meaning why she dose it. She basically well-knownshows it exciting. She might want to no longer be your perfect lady, yet she might want to be your sons.

Answer 5

Ther is nothing you can do to stop him from marrying her. There is a chance, if she leaves the house to visit her own family, that with time your family can get her to start coming out more.Just remember how you felt when you were about to marry. He loves her and if you try to break them up you will most likely lose your son. Look at her from his angle. I bet there are plenty of good thing about her. With love and support from your family she will be 'normal' in time.

Answer 6

You raised your son to live his OWN life.. not the life you think he should live. Think about what a young man needs from his mother, when he's making a life-altering decision like marriage. Call him. Tell him you love him, you support him, and you welcome his future wife into your family. Period. Do not share your doubts with him.
No marriage needs to start without parental support.

Answer 7

sounds like he has found someone that makes him happy without putting up a front,or being a goody two shoes.Everyone,thank God, isn't alike and that's why there is always someone for every one.Maby if you would come down to earth you might learn to know her and like her but as long as you think your better than her and she isn't good enough for your son,your standing a chance that you may loose your son all together.don't make him choose or you will loose.

Answer 8

My parents forced me to stop dating a young man just because he was different. I have regretted this ever since. I feel guilty for letting my parents bully me into dumping him.
Let your son follow his heart. You can tell him how you feel but then stay out of it. He will only grow to resent you for it.
If you love your son let him be a man. Let him make choices for himself. Have enough faith in yourself as a parent that you raised him right. Trust him to make the right choice.

Answer 9

first of all there is no normal,What's normal to you might not be normal to her.The only thing you can do is just support him,Let him make his own mistakes and be there for him when he files for Divorce.

My parents tried to talk me out of marriage too.I wouldn't listen now 12 years and five kids later I'm divorced and getting married again soon to a wonderful man that everybody loves including all of my chlidren.My parents have been there for me every step of the way.

Good Luck

Answer 10

My ex used to tell his family he could never come to their social events because I couldn't or wouldn't. Truth was I never knew anything about them, he never mentioned it because he didn't want to and used me for the reason.

His sister finally called me to chew me out for not coming to the family reunion... when I said what family reunion, she finally figured it out, it was him all along. Maybe you're getting scammed, too...!