My ex-gf is pregnant.....I need some help?

Question

ok so I was going out with this girl for a short while, and a couple of times we didnt use a condom, and now shes pregnant. im for sure the father. problem is i am 18 and moving far away to college in a couple weeks... me and this girl are over. im telling her to get an abortion(its only been like 2 months), but she doesnt really want to. Now, i dont want a child in my life at all, specially since im in no position to support it. Not only that, I dont want to. I cant stand the girl at all anymore. So im wondering .... whats the deal with child support and stuff like that? and do you guys have any suggestions?

also... shes knows im going to college, and she doesnt really wanna mess with my life. she told me she wouldnt need me at all for the baby, going as far as swearing on her moms life that she would never try and ruin my life with the baby.... but do you think she could/would still come back and try to get child support or somethin??

Answer 1

If you do not want anything to do with the child and you are positive then what you will have to do is wait until the child is born, do the paternity test to establish that you are the biological father.
Then talk to the girl and tell her that you want to petition the courts to do a resolution of all parental rights.

Once that is done then you will not have any legal responsibilities to the child.
That may get you out of your responsibilities legally but not morally.
It took two to make this baby and he/she will be a living breathing part of you. Your own flesh and blood.
Are you the kind of person who could deny your child the right to know his/her father? The kind of person that can just walk away knowing that your child is out there some where?
The type of person that could live with himself not knowing if that child was being fed, clothed, loved, and well taken care of?
The type of person who could deny his own child the right of growing up with two parents?

Your decisions are going depend on how selfish of a person you are. Just because YOU don't want this child.........I can guarantee that this child is going to want YOU.
Don't make this child go through life thinking that he/she was not wanted, or good enough for you to love.

Take alot of time to think things through, talk things over with someone and make the best decision for the CHILD not yourself.

Answer 2

First off, if you didn't love this girl then you should have always made sure that you wore a condom. Second, I cannot believe you suggested abortion. That is the most cruelest thing that can happen to a woman. It may be an easy out for a man but it puts a woman through a life of hell and can even ruin her chances of ever being able to conceive again. If you don't want to take YOUR responsibility and provide for a child that you helped make then you should have kept it in your pants. Even though you want nothing to do with the mother, one of these days when you become a real man and grow up, you are going to want to know your son/daughter. How would you feel if your father never wanted you? Put the shoe on the other foot and think about it. I hope she gets all she can out of you and that she pursues it to the fullest extent of the law in your state. I am sorry, but I cannot have sympathy for someone who want to play the game but not suffer the consequences.

Answer 3

Join the thousands of other guys who didn't use protection and had no serious feelings about a girl. She doesn't have to have an abortion if she doesn't want, and you will have to pay child support until the kid finishes college. If you don't, they will follow you through out your life, attach your paychecks and absorb any income tax refunds you have coming. Not only that, but the childs mother can petition Friend of the Court any time she chooses and ask for more money, health and dental care and any other things the child needs as she grows up.

Aren't you lucky? Better yet - isn't this one lucky child about to enter into this world without a father or any stability?

Consequences are hell.
Make the best of it. Get a good education so you can get a good job. Build a relationship with your child and you may have someone to love and be loved by for the rest of your life.

In the future, be careful. It can happen again.

Answer 4

Suggestion:Get a praternity test. There isn't any way for you to be "for sure" that you're the father without that. If you are the father, then you need to own up to your mistakes and be responsible. A baby isn't something that you can just toss out or ignore because you don't like the mother, or because it's inconvenient. Just because she's the one who has to carry the baby doesn't mean it's her problem. It's yours too. You both decided to have sex without a condom, and unless you're completely braindead you knew full well that unprotected sex would lead to 1 of 2 things: STD's or babies. You should feel lucky you ended up with the latter. Maybe try seeing things from a different perspective. You are lucky in more than one way in this situation. Some men never get to be fathers. It's a blessing that you can be one and it's sad that you aren't grateful. Most importantly, you and your girlfriend are the one's who made the mistake. The child shouldn't be the one who pays for that. You are 18 years old. That's old enough to start acting like a man.

Answer 5

Sign over all rights to her when the baby is born, then you have no legal responsibility, only moral.

I'm sure you can get her to work something out with you. You shouldn't order someone to get an abortion just because you had your way with her, birth control or not, and now you don't want to "ruin" the rest of your life. Babies aren't paperwads to just be thrown away at your earliest convenience.

Next time make sure she's on birth control. Better yet, stay abstinent from now on.

Two months pregnant is cutting it awfully close by the way.An abortion now will be very bad for her health. I think she wants to have the baby and she should have a say. So don't play dirty. Just accept responsibility for your action or tell her you want none and walk away. She should understand since this is her new life challenge too.

Good luck in college, and I mean that.

Answer 6

This is Gods way of telling you, GROW UP DUDE and quit being so self centered. You are not having the baby SHE is. She has to go through the 9m. of pregnancy and not to mention labor, you don't. You can not make that choice for her. Do you know how many other men that are in the SAME situation as you! Stand up to the plate and be responsible. You had unprotected sex and now you're going to have to deal with the consequences of your actions. Time to grow up and be a man. You can't just make some one have an abortion. It's a life and believe it or not somewhere down the road you will wonder what would have happened if I actually had kept it? What would it look like? How old would it be? Guilt will follow you.

Answer 7

Never assume that a child is yours. Get a paternity test done. Don't get caught having to pay child support for 18 years for achild that may not be yours. Most States take 25% of your income for child support.

What ever you do, DO NOT SIGN A BIRTH CERTIFICATE!! Wait until you get the DNA results from your paternity test. You sign that certificate, it will be very hard to get out of the payments later if you are proven to not be the father.

Answer 8

it is unwell and he desires to end the relationship. His ex is comfortable with this? Thats purely unwell. She would desire to have rather low self-well worth to think of its alright to be somebody's sideline chick. She would desire to comprehend she merits extra advantageous than that. he's a jerk for permitting this habit. yet he does not decide to harm his contemporary gf? Yeah good. How does he think of she's gonna sense whilst she finds out the certainty? She's gonna throw a social gathering? i think of no longer! She's gonna be pissed on the undeniable fact that she had no say so in this twisted affair. he's sexin the ex and his contemporary....HELLOOOOO!!!! do we are saying ailments and STD's waiting to happen? however the detrimental gf does not even comprehend! Thats completely no longer user-friendly to her she would desire to have a say in wether she desires to attend to this relationship or no longer. He desires to come again sparkling and rapid. when you consider that he desires to be sure and function intercourse together with his ex lots then why no longer be along with her? yet atleast he desires to guy up and tell his contemporary gf howdy!

Answer 9

Congradulatins, Daddy!
You dumb twit! You screw the girl, then you don't want to accept responsibility. You should be castrated!! Why were you not smart enough to use a rubber? You think you so much more betterer! Forget about college! Get a job flipping burgers at McDonalds!

Answer 10

why should the baby suffer because you just wanted to play around and not pay the piper. always use a umbrella if you don't want a baby and are not ready to settle down. go get a job and get ready to pay for the next 18 years