I'm 8 months pregnant still working full time, and house keeping at night. My husband is a good man and I always do a lot of things for him, on the other side, I always have to ask when I really need him to do some for me and still he doesnt look happy when he has to. When I try to talk to him about it, he wont say much, but he says he really loves me, and the only thing he would do later is put a candy bar in my purse.!! I'm tired, I've only been been married for 1 year, and I'm almost givin up, what else can I do? Please help.
2006-08-19 09:02:00 · 10 answers · asked by mon2711 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Same way you change the spots on a leopard. you dont, ethier he is or he aint. if you stay together long enough, it will come naturally.
2006-08-19 09:08:01 · answer #1 · answered by Darin E 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems you have marital problems. Don't give up yet, especially if he hasn't mentioned it. Was he that way before you got married? Remember, men do not show affection like women do. Candy bar isn't much, but do you give him positive reinforcement for it? Does he see you smile for the candy or just see a grumpy pregnant woman who looks down on the chocolate? Tell him how you feel (but only ONCE, not a zillion times!), sit down and COMMUNICATE- hear him out, make some type of agreement & if it doesnt work after 2 months, go to a therapist. Marriage isn't breaking up like if you had a bf; try some patience & deep thinking.
2006-08-19 09:13:35 · answer #2 · answered by lara 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't 'make' anyone do anything. Didn't you know this about him before you got married? If you didn't then you didn't know him well enough to get married and thats what you get. On the other hand, you teach people how to treat you. In your efforts to be a 'good' wife you have taught him that he can sit on his butt while you take care of everything, therefore why should he help? It will be the same way after the kid (if you allow it to be) except you will be doing everything yourself one handed, because you will be holding a baby in the other. These are all issues that people should negotiate BEFORE the wedding but they seldom do. Obviously you need to renegotiate the arrangement. Sit him down and say look this baby will be here soon so we need to straighten some stuff out before it gets here. I'm not your maid or your chef, I am your wife and as such I would like to be treated (fill in what is lacking for you here), let him know that you fully expect him to start taking more responsibility around the house and you may want to mention that if you have to work full time AND take care of everything around the house by yourself you may begin to wonder what exactly you need him around for (this actually happens to a lot of marriages, guys write themselves out of the picture because they become one more thing the woman has to take care of instead of something that makes her life easier, you can't eliminate the job, the kids, or the housework so he becomes the only thing that is expendable). Let him know exactly what you will expect from him once the baby comes. Men don't think of these things on their own, you have to let them know clearly and precisely what you want from them. In the future consider what you are teaching someone about how you want to be treated before you start doing things. Good luck and do it now before it gets any worse.
2006-08-19 09:29:43 · answer #3 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Knowing that you are 8 months pregnant, working, and taking care of the house, He should want to help you and make things more comfortable for you, if he truly Loves you & his unborn baby! Why don't you tell him that? If he doesn't show any improvement in wanting to be there for you, then you will know that his Love for you & his unborn baby is not very strong & true at all!!!!!!!!!
Good Luck!!!!!!!!!
2006-08-23 03:54:52 · answer #4 · answered by bigred 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you new what he was like when you married him, you are not going to change him. Just ask him nicely to give you a hand with house hold chores, be specific on what you would like him to do. If it is not done the way you like it, just say thank you and don't criticize him for how he did it.
2006-08-19 09:08:42 · answer #5 · answered by Right Wing Extremist 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is still letting you work? What kind of man is he, I don't think he really care that much for you. When you have your baby, kick that no good scumsucker to the curve. I can't beleive he still let you work, don't he care what may happen to you and the baby, by letting you work, Honey, you need to get rid of him.
2006-08-19 09:09:32 · answer #6 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my husband has been the same way for 5 yrs, i just quit doing things for him
2006-08-19 09:09:49 · answer #7 · answered by babygirl_mandy82 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't make someone be what they are not. They think differently then us. You always have to ask - no matter what. I think he loves you tho. Don't worry!
2006-08-19 09:08:22 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get on his case , get him to help you more and if he doesn't then scream bloody murder at him and say hey look I'm sick of this either change your ways or get out
2006-08-19 09:16:14 · answer #9 · answered by jojo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its hard for men to pay attention when you're prego;;;I ahve been there
2006-08-19 09:07:32 · answer #10 · answered by CJ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋